Dream Seed

On this throwback episode of Something’s Burning, Brad Williams and Adam Ray come over and we drink each other under the table. There’s not enough steak, potatoes or mini-bloomin’ onions to absorb all the alcohol… Chaos ensues when I cut my hand, we start a fire, and SOMEONE falls off their stool.

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See me DOUBLE DOWN in LAS VEGAS September 27 and 28th at the Resorts World Theatre! https://www.axs.com/series/23217/bertkreischer-tickets?skin=resortsworld

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STEAK, TWICE BAKED POTATOES AND MINI BLOOMIN’ ONIONS

Steaks:

Ingredients:

40 oz Tomahawk Steak 38 Day Dry-Aged

18 oz Bone-in Ribeyes Dry Aged 28 days

10 oz Prime Filet Mignon Wet Aged 28 days

All pre-season, already salted

Butter

Salt

Pepper

Steps:

Cook all the meats

Twice Baked Potatoes

Ingredients:

1 stick butter

½ cup bacon bits

½ cup sour cream

½ cup cheese

½ cup milk

Seasoned salt

Green onions

Black pepepr

Steps:

1. Cut each potato in half length wise and scrape out inside

2. Smash inside of potatoes with 1 stick of butter, bacon bits and sour cream then mix in cheese, milk, salt, onions, and pepper

3. Fill potato shells with filling, top with more cheese, and bake at 250 for 15-20 minutes

Bloomin’ Onion

Ingredients:

2 ½ cups flour

1 tsp cayenne

2 tbs paprika

½ tsp thyme

½ tsp oregano

½ tsp cumin

Black pepper

2 eggs

1 cup whole milk

1 cup water

Steps:

1. Mix dry ingredients in bowl

2. Mix wet ingredients into separate bowl

3. Cut onion and pour flour mixture on top, cover with bowl, and shake

4. Submerge onion into egg mixture, then back into flour mixture

5. Fry onion for about 3 minutes, flip, and fry for another 3 minutes

Bloomin Onion Dip

Mix the following together:

2 tbs mayonnaise

2 Tbs sour cream

1 ½ tsp ketchup

½ tsp Worcestershire sauce

1 tbs drained horseradish

¼ tsp paprika

Pinch of cayenne

Salt

Pepper

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Bert’s getting his own private concert when legends Rick Springfield and Richard Marx stop by the kitchen for some sushi and a serenade. Bert gets a little peak into their friendship and what their show must be like – and he LOVES everything about it. They drink and dish out the stories behind the songs… and who really WAS Jessie’s Girl.

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See me DOUBLE DOWN in LAS VEGAS September 27 and 28th at the Resorts World Theatre! https://www.axs.com/series/23217/bertkreischer-tickets?skin=resortsworld

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Catch me on NETFLIX

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Oma’kinda, Sushi Bundt Cake and Jessie’s Girl Cocktail

Rainbow Roll California Mix Bundt cake

Ingredients:

* Sushi Shrimp

* Sushi Rice

* Salmon

* Akami

* Madai

* Ora King

* Hamachi

* Seaweed salad with octopus and shrimp

* Miso Soup

* Miso Marinated Black Cod

Instructions:

1. Combine crab mix with jalapenos and green onions

2. Place saran wrap into mold and add a layer of rice

3. Add in a layer of California crab mix

4. Layer in avocado and cucumber

5. Finish with a final layer of rice

6. Flip and remove mold

7. Add a layer fish on top, drizzle spicy mayo and furikake

Seaweed salad with octopus and shrimp

1. Mix all of the seaweed contents in a mixing bowl

2. Plate seaweed in a small bowl and add slices of shrimp and octopus

3. Add slices of lemon and sesame seeds

Miso Soup with bit of fish

1. Chop extra fish from Bundt cake into small pieces then place raw fish into small bowl

2. Bring soup to a boil and pour hot soup into bowls

3. Add green onions

Miso marinated black cod

1. Pre-heat oven to 380

2. Smear room temp butter onto aluminum foil

3. Place pieces of cod on the buttered foil, skin side up

4. Cook for 12 minutes

5. Raise oven temp. to 450 and cook 2 minutes

6. Serve with pickled ginger on the side

Sashimi Sauce

Ingredients:

* 1 TBS Orange juice

* 2 TBS Soy sauce

* 1 TBS lime juice

Steps:

1. Mix all ingredients together.

2. Drizzle over fish

Jessie’s Girl Cocktail

Ingredients:

* 1 ½ oz Sammy’s Beach Bar Platinum Rum

* 1 ½ oz fresh pineapple juice

* 1 oz Sweet & Sour Mix

* ½ oz triple sec

* ¼ oz grenadine

* Fresh orange and pineapple wedges

Steps:

1. Shake ingredients in a mixer with ice.

2. Pour over ice and garnish with orange and pineapple wedges

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In this season-one-walk-down-memory-lane, the Super Troopers (Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan) come by the kitchen to give me my flowers for helping on the movie. They also give me a hand making homemade McGriddles and help me with my branding. Apparently, I need a catchphrase.

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Homemade McGriddles and Hashbrowns

Ingredients:

* Potatoes

* 1 cup maple syrup

* Kosher salt

* Black pepper

* ½ tsp paprika

* Eggs

* 1 cup and 2 TBS flour

* 2 TBS sugar

* 2 tsp baking powder

* 1 Cup milk

* 2 TBS melted butter

* Olive Oil

* Ground Sausage

Steps:

Syrup Crystals

1. Heat syrup over medium heat while stirring until thick then pour onto a chilled plate for syrup to crystalize

Hashbrowns:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2. Rub potatoes with oil and salt then bake for 45 minutes

3. Shred cooked potatoes with box grater and add salt, pepper, paprika and 1 beaten egg

4. Add 2 TBS flour, stirring together, then create ½-inch thick patties

5. Pan fry patties then let them dry on paper towels

Sausage Patties:

1. Form patties and fry in a skillet

Pancake Buns:

1. Whisk together 1 cup flour, sugar, baking powder and ½ teaspoon salt

2. In a separate bowl, whisk milk, butter, and 1 egg

3. Add dry ingredients to the milk mixture and whisk until it is just combined

4. Crumble the maple crystals into pieces. Cook buns in molds filling up halfway with batter then adding syrup crystals, then topping with batter

Eggs:

1. Cook eggs any way

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Comedy couple Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook stop by the kitchen to chat about peanuts and podcasts while I make a killer pretzel potpie. Kelsey’s got some breaking news that changes everything and we also talk a LOT about ball sacks.

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PRETZEL POT PIE

Ingredients:

* 2 TBS unsalted butter

* 1 medium yellow onion, chopped

* 3 medium carrots, chopped

* 2 stalks celery, chopped

* ¼ cup all-purpose flour

* 2 ½ cups chicken broth

* Kosher salt

* 2 cups shredded cooked chicken

* ½ cup frozen peas, thawed and drained

* 2 TBS chopped fresh parsley

* ½ cup baking soda

* 1 ½ pounds refrigerated pizza dough room temp

* 1 large egg

* ½ tsp pretzel salt

* Pie crust

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2. Place pie crust into pie pan

3. Melt butter in pan and add onion. Stir in celery and carrots. Add flour, stirring to coat veggies. Add broth and salt and pepper. Simmer until thick.

4. Stir in chicken, peas and parsley then add mixture to pie pan

5. Put baking soda, 2 tsp kosher salt, and 8 cups of water in a pot and bring to a boil

6. Form pretzels with Pizza dough

7. Cook pretzels in water for 30 seconds, flip and cook another 30 seconds

8. Arrange pretzels on top of pie mixture. Whisk together egg and 1 tbs water in a bowl then brush onto pretzels, sprinkle with pretzel salt

9. Bake for 45 minutes

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YouTube personality Grace Helbig and comedian Brooks Wheelan pop into the kitchen for some gyoza, sake bombs, and pressing questions… things like “is it cooler to be a stoner or a drunk…?” and “how disgusting is Jersey, really?” Plus, Bert surprises everyone with some pretty delicious food.

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Gyoza

Ingredients for Gyoza:

-Napa Cabbage

-2 tsp salt

-Shrimp

-3 Cloves of garlic

-1 tsp ginger

-5 green onions

-5 pounds ground pork

-2 tsp sugar

-Dumpling wrappers

-½ cup water

-Vegetable oil

-Cheesecloth

Steps:

1. Finely shred cabbage and sprinkle with salt. Using the cheesecloth, wring out excess liquid from cabbage

2. Cut up shrimp

3. Mince garlic, ginger, and green onions

4. Combine all ingredients into a bowl and mix

5. Place 1tsp-2tbs of gyoza filling into wrapper, dip fingertip into water and moisten the edge of the wrapper to fold and form the dumpling

6. Heat oil in pan and fry gyoza

7. Steam gyoza by adding ½ water to pan and covering with lid

8. Double fry by removing the lid and cooking until again on the bottom

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