Often we feel that uncomfortable feelings like stress, worry, frustration, anger are bad and that if our spouse is feeling them it is our job to make that feeling go away. This comes from the idea that you don’t like feeling uncomfortable and you are unaware that you are choosing the discomfort as is your spouse. They want to feel what they are feeling because of values they have. Allowing your spouse to feel what they are feeling is a form of love without feeling the need to control them. What do you think of that?