The Art Of Coaching

E375 | Uneven Effort in Relationships & Why Dating is a Gong Show


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We’ve all felt it. That awkward disconnect when the vibe is off and you're wondering how you ended up across the table from someone who just isn’t where you are. Maybe you’re in different stages of life, chasing different things, or just not clear on what the other actually wants. Whatever the reason, the moment hits: this isn’t it.

It’s not easy to find someone emotionally mature enough to show up. Someone who isn’t hiding behind the damage of past relationships or stuck reliving the pain of a breakup they never really moved on from. And even harder? Finding someone willing to do the work, to build something real, instead of ghosting or bailing the minute things get remotely tough or inconvenient.

But this isn't just an episode for people looking for love. It's about communication, emotional availability, and knowing what you bring to the table—because relationships, romantic or not, reveal a lot about who we are and how we lead.

In this episode, Brett gets personal and delivers the truth about:

  • Confronting our cultural epidemic of “busy” and what it’s really masking
  • When a relationship is worth fixing—and when to let it go
  • How to assess emotional and logistical availability (for them and for you)
  • Protecting your self-worth from people who chip away at it bit by bit.
  • Why dating apps thrive in the same way every addictive algorithm does
  • *BONUS* Brett’s best dating advice: simple but far from easy
  • Coming Later This Year – The (Im)perfect Relationship Course

    If this episode hit home, there’s more where that came from. Hop on the waitlist here to be the first to know when doors open. And check out artofcoaching.com/events to stay up to date on our upcoming workshops, where we dive deep into communication, leadership, and the skills that actually build better relationships in work, life, and love.

    Folsom Brand Builder

    Are you a coach, entrepreneur, or speaker who wants to turn your expertise into something that actually pays the bills? Whether you’ve never made a dollar or just brought in your first million, Brand Builder is for you! Spend two interactive days in Folsom, CA, getting crystal clear on your messaging, attracting the right clients, and building a business that scales.

    You’ll leave with clarity, confidence, and a framework that lets you do what you love—on your terms.

    📍Folsom, CA –  August 8-9

    To register or get more details, visit:  artofcoaching.com/brand-builder-25

    Private Growth Retreat

    Stuck? Burnt out? Just need space to think? Come spend a day or two at AOC HQ with Brett for a private retreat built entirely around you. Strategy sessions, time outside, good food, and honest conversation—plus maybe a lift in the garage gym.

    This is where you quiet the noise, organize the chaos, map your next move, and leave with clarity and confidence.

    Email [email protected] and let us know you're interested in a private retreat and we’ll work out a date.

    Writer’s Workshop – Put Pen to Paper

    Want to write a book but don’t know where to start? Brett self-published Conscious Coaching—and now he’s working with one of the world’s biggest publishers for his next one. Either one-on-one or in a small-group, he’ll share what worked, a whole lot of what didn’t, and how you can overcome the grind that writing can be, outline your ideas into a well-crafted message, and get it into the hands of those who need it most.

    Email [email protected] mention the Writer’s Workshop you heard about on the podcast and let’s start filling the page!

    Related Episodes:

    E339 | Scott & Jaime Livingston: Overcoming Challenges in Relationships

    Follow Us:

    Website: ArtofCoaching.com

    Instagram: @coach_brettb

    X: @coach_brettb

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    The Art Of CoachingBy Brett Bartholomew

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