Emsolation

Did someone say gimme more wang chat? Probably not, but we’ve got wang of the frolicking kind to fill your ears, so huzzah for all of that and then some. The ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ review you never knew you needed, but were assuming you were probably going to get, is about to be delivered after Em devoured the new adaptation on Netflix. There’s also Em and Michael’s thoughts and feels on the new Harry and Meghan Netflix documentary series, plus they wanna talk about the peeps asking Em what she thinks of the footage of her Madgesty at the celebration for the reissue of her ‘Sex’ book. Finally there’s some questions from our Emsolators that we didn’t get to during our 200th episode last week, so we’ve managed to squeeze even more answers in for you to enjoy.

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Can we deliver two hundred minutes for our two hundredth show? We absolutely can. Will it be a wild and chaotic ride? Um, have you even listened to our previous one hundred and ninety nine episodes? Of course it will be chaotic, we nearly talked ourselves hoarse and we covered all of the things. There’s our standard weekly catch up between Em and Michael which covers everything from their current TV viewing efforts, to the Victoriian election result, with a Catweazle side quest, a saucy party game story and even an appearance from Em’s eldest Chella. We also have Em and her husband Scott sitting down for a chat, there’s Em and Michael acting a Hallmark Christmas movie written by a bot, your questions answered and so much more. Get ready for the longest and most eclectic episode we’ve EVER created and happy two hundred episodes to all of us!

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Em got her autism diagnosis confirmed on Friday so she needs to talk through that, she also wants to reflect on Elio’s first day of orientation at his kinder, plus she has her period, so expect a few teary moments within. You’ll also get to hear about the time Em forgot to mask during a very important meeting with a huge TV production company and subsequently did something that ensured she never heard from them again. It’s a short, free flowing confessional, straight from the heart, so settle in and enjoy.

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Michael has been in a float tank full of magnesium and Em is having none of it, but she also has lots of questions. Em has gall bladder issues and she also found out Elon Musk has 10 children, created his own burnt hair perfume, carried a sink into Twitter, fired 50 percent of the company and gave Trump Twitter access again, so yep, more questions. We’re then saying “Good for Her” to Heidi Klum and her daughter Leni for clapping back at suggestions they shouldn’t model together in lingerie, by modelling together in lingerie again. Then we prove Em lives in a multiverse after she reveals why she thinks Heidi’s ex is actually called Seal. Finally, Em and Michael have been bingeing Season 5 of ‘The Crown’ which ushers in Michael’s awkward recollections of a rideshare with the actress playing Princess Diana, Elizabeth Debicki. Plus Em asks him to tell us about how he scared Claudia Karvan out of the room by singing his own version of Dolly Parton’s Jolene to her. So yeah, it's your standard grab bag of all the randomness you’ve come to expect and love.

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Are you even ready? The answer to that is no, NO you are not ready, but you actually don’t need to be. This episode is like unleashing two hilarious hummingbirds in front of a pair of microphones to watch them fight it out for the next punchline, hence you will get relentless giggles with a hefty serving of campery and a bunch of trauma bonding thrown in. There’s also half a dozen hilarious titles for any and all of Reuben’s future biographies, all the facts on why Em and Reuben are basically the same fabulous person, how they both started in the same place and why they celebrate overcoming their own trauma and then share it with their audience on stage. It’s a fabulous ride which we know you’re gonna love, so plug in and put it in your ears at your earliest convenience mmmkay.

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Em has binged EVERY episode of the brand new season of Love is Blind and she’s got something to say. It’s a bonus treat with added audio highlights and updates on where the couples are since the reunion show, so if you’re scared of spoilers maybe approach this episode with caution.

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We love a bit of alliteration hence why we’ve gone with the three T’s in our title and dropped the other item of conversation within this episode. That other item is first up for discussion though, Rhonda Burchmore has been snubbed for another Carols by Candlelight and we are not having it. Then we need to check in with the meltdown from straight men and even some women to the Victorian Government’s state election promise of free tampons & pads in public spaces. Donald Trump has announced he’s running for President AGAIN, which means the Unicorn of Death was sadly right. Finally, Ticketmaster in America has screwed up and made it impossible for Swifties to buy tickets to Taylor Swift’s upcoming tour and they are ready to go all Hunger Games on anyone and everyone responsible. There’s also a surprise treat that Michael did without having any idea we were recording him, you can thank us for that later.

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It’s a lot right, we’re half way through November and we are NOT coping, but we do have time to do a full brain dump. We start with Em dishing on the year so far, then it’s onto the new Lindsay Lohan Netflix movie ‘Falling for Christmas’, Em has finally seen it and she’s asking for a temporary pause on the Li-naissance. She’s also offering a full rejection of the standard romantic movie trope where the woman gives up everything to make babies and muffins for a man. Then we get a full Mean Girls 2 script synopsis, followed by a ‘Party of Five’ side quest. Then we do a Tiffany Trump wedding update, which also features Lindsay Lohan, because of course it does. There’s a short Donald Trump mid-term update which could also mean the end of the Unicorn of Death, there’s a teensy “who cares” about the Victorian state election moment, a Dua Lipa live show reaction and some behind the scenes of Em being at Rob “Millsy” Mills book launch. It’s a total go to woah through to what just happened scenario and has all the stuff we live for when it comes to an Em Rusciano brain dump, huzzah!

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Prepare yourself for Em doing a couple of Salt-N-Pepa raps whilst trying to remember the date of our Melbourne live show, then we talk Kim Kardashian using an air fryer, yeah we’re not so convinced either. Dua Lipa is about to entertain Em and Michael at her concert and Michael is going to scream. Cher helps us launch a new segment we’re calling “Good For Her’. Rihanna is totes letting us down with her choice of celebrity cameo for her latest Savage X Fenty show. Michael’s finally seen Harry acting in ‘My Policemen’ and we try and wrestle an honest review out of him. Then finally with the midterm elections underway in the US, our very own harbinger of doom the Unicorn of Death returns, so good luck everyone.

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Em loves nachos, it’s a safe food for her, it’s got crunchy corn chips, gooey cheese, and nacho sauce, what’s not to love? Anyway, it’s safe to say nachos are always gonna be a satisfying scoff for Em, so if you should happen to make a promise of nachos to her, you better follow through on it. Unfortunately over the weekend the promise of nachos wasn’t delivered and things spiralled out of control. You’ll hear all the shocking deets of corn chip armageddon within, plus there’s an update on Em’s autism diagnosis and her current feels around it.

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