Who are you, really, if you remove alcohol from your life? In this deeply thoughtful solo episode, Anna Donaghey takes on the big, unsettling question: “Who am I if I don’t drink?”

Rather than focusing on willpower or missing out, Anna Donaghey explores the real, often unspoken identity shifts that happen when we rethink our relationship with alcohol. With psychological insight, lived experience, and practical tools, she explores why alcohol feels like more than a habit, it becomes a social uniform, a signal for belonging, and even a “scaffolding” for how we move through life.

Exploring topics like “identity lag,” belonging, and the power of meeting your true self, Anna Donaghey guides listeners through the discomfort and liberation that can come with letting go of drinking. She offers gentle reframes, challenging listeners to consider not just what they’ll lose, but the strengths and surprises they might gain. This episode is for anyone feeling curious about life on the other side of drinking.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Intro: Rethinking your relationship with alcohol

01:03 “Who am I if I don’t drink?” - the question beneath the fear

03:29 Drinking as a “social passport” - ritual, friendship, and fitting in

04:34 The need to belong and why challenging alcohol can feel threatening

06:14 Alcohol as a uniform, how it signals our role in different settings

07:16 Meeting yourself as an adult without alcohol for the first time

08:25 Identity lag: why our sense of self changes slower than our behaviour

10:06 How alcohol helps us perform or buffer feelings

12:55 Ask: “Who have I not allowed myself to be?”

13:32 Outgrowing old coping strategies

14:38 Using alcohol as armor, scaffolding, or stabilisers

18:47 Liberation and alignment, shifting from performance to true self

20:41 If alcohol wasn’t in the picture, what would remain and what might strengthen?

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk