The Big Drink Rethink

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 146

Why does asking for help feel so impossible, especially when you're a mum, and everyone else seems to be coping just fine? In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Vic Vanstone, author and host of Sober Awkward to talk honestly about early motherhood, the loss of self, and the drinking that came along for the ride.

Vic shares how she went from backpacking party girl to new mum in Australia, and why alcohol became her way of finding "the old me" again. Anna reflects on swapping a career built on planning and control, for the chaos of a newborn, and the performance of being the perfectly put-together mum. Together they explore why the people closest to us are often the hardest to tell, the shame that keeps us stuck, and the moments that finally made them reach out.

Highlights:

00:00 Intro: Surprised by how hard motherhood really is

00:57 Meet Vic Vanstone, host of Sober Awkward and author

03:26 The shock of trying to merge a “party self” with new mum life

07:50 Using alcohol to reclaim the “old me”

13:22 The pressure to perform motherhood for others

17:10 Alcohol as the only tool for managing big emotions

22:26 The shame and stigma that make it hard to ask for help

28:30 How rock-bottom moments with partners force a rethink

34:36 The power of saying, “I think I have a problem with alcohol”

36:33 The “merry-go-round” therapy epiphany: you get to step off 42:09 Anna's route in: This Naked Mind and getting curious

43:07 Why reaching out for help doesn’t have to be dramatic

47:31 “Find your people” - how to keep seeking support until it fits

48:38 Breaking the booze cycle for the next generation

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources

Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Victoria Vanstone:

Victoria Vanstone is a British-born, Sunshine Coast-based writer and podcast host. She got sober after hitting a low point on her bathroom floor and started writing about it on her blog, Drunk Mummy Sober Mummy - honest, funny, and unsparing about motherhood, anxiety, and life after booze. That voice led her to co-create Sober Awkward, now with over 7 million downloads and named "culture-changing" by The Guardian UK.

She's the author of A Thousand Wasted Sundays (runner-up, 2024 Australian Independent Book Awards) and Mumming: A Year of Trying, and Failing, to be a Better Parent, a memoir on the impossible standards of modern motherhood.

Victoria lives on the Sunshine Coast with her husband and three children, and speaks and writes wherever honesty, failure, and a good laugh are welcome.

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 145

Why do so many of us feel we need a drink to be confident at parties, gatherings, even among friends? In this episode, Anna Donaghey untangles the deep-rooted belief that alcohol provides confidence, and invites you to question where that story really comes from.

With lived experience and psychological insight, Anna guides you through the "costume" we put on with every glass, and the subconscious beliefs driving our drinking behaviours. She breaks down the science behind nerves and explains why true confidence can't be poured from a bottle and how what you're really after might be presence, not performance.

Make sure you listen to discover practical mindset shifts and tools for handling social situations alcohol-free.

Highlights:

00:00 Why we often reach for a drink before entering a party

01:32 The hidden belief: “Alcohol gives me confidence”

02:50 How subconscious beliefs shape our drinking behaviours

05:36 Digging deeper: is the real belief “I’m not enough as I am”?

06:25 Nerves are natural, not a sign of weakness

07:06 Alcohol as a “costume” in social settings

10:09 Questioning our beliefs: “Says who?”

11:20 Remembering a time before alcohol

13:14 The difference between confidence and lowered inhibitions

16:45 Why alcohol delivers only a “borrowed” confidence

17:41 I am enough as I am, and confidence is something I build

19:30 Tools for managing nerves: relabel anxiety as excitement

20:45 Using genuine curiosity when meeting new people

21:26 When anxiety is actually a signal to honour your needs

22:13 Confidence means choosing the right rooms for you

22:31 Get your free worksheet at https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/toolkit-optin

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle ’- a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 144

Who am I? What do I stand for? What kind of life do I want to live? These aren't questions reserved for lecture halls. If you've ever tried to change your relationship with alcohol, you've already been asking them.

This week, Anna Donaghey is joined by Peg O'Connor, professor of philosophy, author and a woman in long-term recovery, to bring philosophy out of academia and into everyday life. Together they make the case that anyone grappling with change is already a philosopher at heart.

Peg shares her lived experience of addiction and what it taught her about shame, self-belief and the quiet pull of living on autopilot. She and Anna explore why recovery works better as an ongoing experiment than a fixed identity, and how reclaiming genuine agency and a sense of belonging to yourself can change everything.

Whether you're sober, sober curious or simply questioning the role alcohol plays in your life, this conversation will leave you thinking differently about who you are and who you're becoming.

Highlights:

00:00 Meet Peg O'Connor: philosopher, author, and recovering alcoholic

01:16 The big questions addiction and philosophy both ask

03:26 Why everyone in recovery is already a philosopher

04:09 Ancient philosophy: "How do we live and flourish?"

09:10 Knowing you're in trouble, but unsure how to change

12:00 The fatalism and isolation of shame

14:53 39 years sober and still treating every day as a new experiment

18:45 Hitting all of life's benchmarks but still losing yourself

21:31 Alcohol freedom as a gateway not the destination

22:28 Happiness as despair’s hiding place (Kierkegaard)

24:05 Functioning on autopilot; the tyranny of "fine"

26:14 The torment of not feeling fully present

32:09 The transformative question: "What do I deserve?"

33:04 Why philosophy doesn’t judge, but invites exploration

34:19 What philosophers say about will and change

38:40 Painting a vivid picture for your future; setting a new compass

40:12 Embracing agency and accepting responsibility

43:09 Stoic wisdom: controlling what you can, accepting what you can't

47:05 Dialogue is at the heart of philosophy and recovery

47:48 Peg’s new book: “Recovering Character: Overcoming Addiction and Belonging to Yourself”

53:08 Examining life is what makes it worth living.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Peg O’Connor:

Peg O’Connor has been a professor of philosophy for more than thirty years.

Active in her own addiction to alcohol, Peg came to recognise she was deeply disoriented in her own life. She didn't recognise herself and had no idea who she was or wanted to be. She had no self-respect. She didn't belong to herself but rather to the alcohol she was drinking, the unrealistic expectations she put on herself, and a boatload of grievances.

She knew she didn't want to keep living the way she was. Knowing what we don't want to do or be is a first step to changing - but it isn't enough. Philosophy became Peg's travelling companion on the journey to find out who she is, and what she stands for. She believes it helped her to get and stay sober - helping her name what she had lost and plot a course to get it back. Or create it for the first time.

Connect with Peg:

Website: https://pegoconnorauthor.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 143

This episode explores one of the most persistent beliefs about drinking: the idea that alcohol is essential for relaxation. If you've ever found yourself reaching for a drink after work or on a quiet afternoon almost automatically, you're not alone. Your host Anna Donaghey shares how this learned habit is driven by deep-seated beliefs, many of which never truly belonged to us in the first place.

With clarity and compassion, Anna examines the gap between what alcohol actually does in our bodies and the soothing myth we've been sold. She explores why we come to rely on alcohol to "switch off," how these patterns are modeled by family and culture, and the powerful role of questioning our inherited beliefs. Along the way, she offers science-backed insights into alcohol's real impact on stress and sleep, plus practical, gentle alternatives for anyone ready to try something new.

Highlights:

00:02 Automatic drinking after work: is it really relaxing?

02:02 How beliefs drive thoughts and thoughts drive drinking habits

03:47 The deeper belief: “I can’t relax without alcohol”

05:16 Why “switching off” often means marking a change of state

06:08 The truth: first drink relaxes you, then belief takes over

07:12 Family, culture, and media model alcohol as the only way to unwind

08:09 “Says who?”, questioning where our beliefs come from

09:12 Is alcohol actually removing stress or just postponing it?

10:21 The science: alcohol as a stressor, not a stress-reliever

13:28 The turnaround: alcohol creates more stress than it relieves

15:17 Easy experiment: alternatives that signal “the day is done”

16:42 Free, simple rituals to replace the evening drink

17:28 Looking upstream at the real pressures behind drinking

18:18 You were never incapable of relaxing, you just weren't shown other ways.

Want some easy reset ideas? Have a listen to Episode 68: Toolkit '101': 5-Minute Resets: Go-To Alternatives to Alcohol: https://pod.fo/e/2cf33d

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 142

This episode touches on addiction and on the loss of a child to a fatal overdose. It's a tender one, so please take care whilst listening. And if that's not something you have capacity for today, it's completely okay to come back another time.

What if the person you love is slipping away beneath the weight of addiction, and you’re left battling shame, silence, and a culture that blames individuals while ignoring the deeper crisis? In this profoundly moving episode, Anna Donaghey speaks to Katie Rizzo, a mother who lost her son Nicholas to a fatal overdose after years of struggling with alcohol and substance dependence.

This is a story shaped by grief, but also by everything that comes after. Katie bravely challenges the stigma and secrecy that surround addiction within families and in society at large. She shares Nicholas’s sensitive nature, the anxiety that haunted him, and the relentless pressure to appear happy and successful. Anna and Katie discuss how addiction is viewed as a personal failing, why shame forces families into silence, and what it means to support a loved one with compassion rather than judgement.

You’ll hear firsthand about the ways social comparison, anxiety, and unrealistic ideals fuel substance misuse in young people and why the myth of individual willpower is so dangerous. Anna and Katie invite listeners to rethink not only how we talk about drinking, but how vulnerability, honesty, and community are the real routes to healing.

Highlights:

00:00 Trigger warning: addiction and the loss of a child

01:13 Who Nicholas was, behind the statistics and labels

03:46 How social pressure and anxiety feed substance use

07:13 Why “this isn’t the real me”: inside the mind of addiction

12:52 The myth of willpower, the reality of relapse

18:20 Family stigma and shame: breaking the silence

28:22 Why addiction is a human issue not a moral failing

35:51 Loving a person, not the addiction

41:30 “I’m not the mother who failed her son”, the truth about blame

44:42 Why compassion, vulnerability, and honesty combat shame.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Katie Rizzo:

Katie Rizzo is a mother, former high school science teacher, and writer based in Arizona.

Her oldest son, Nicholas, died from an accidental overdose after a long struggle with anxiety and addiction - first to alcohol, then to benzodiazepines and prescription opioids.

Since his passing, Katie has found her way through grief with the support of Al-Anon and grief communities, and has turned to writing as a way of processing what she's lived through. She is the author of two forthcoming books: Trimesters of Grief (October 1st) and a poetry collection, None of Them Are You (November 1st).

Connect with Katie:

Website: https://katierizzo.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 141

What if reaching for a drink when life feels overwhelming isn’t actually helping you cope, but is instead blocking your real resilience? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the powerful belief that “alcohol helps me cope” and why it might be time to rethink it.

Anna walks listeners through how our beliefs drive our thoughts and behaviours, using real-life examples and her own experience during maternity leave, to break down the difference between numbing and coping.

You’ll learn how to identify the underlying beliefs fueling your urge to drink when things get tough, why numbing with alcohol doesn’t actually resolve hard feelings and the cultural scripts and common myths that keep us reaching for alcohol.

If you’ve ever felt like you “need” a drink to get through tough times or want to trust yourself to deal with life’s challenges without alcohol, this episode is for you. Check out the free worksheet and resources mentioned at https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources to continue your exploration.

Highlights:

00:00 Introduction

01:34 How beliefs drive drinking: breaking down the behaviour-thought-belief chain

02:36 The “alcohol helps me cope” belief and why it’s so fundamental

04:20 Distinguishing between drinking for crisis vs. drinking for everyday discomfort

07:17 Alcohol as the UK’s “favourite coping mechanism”

10:33 Evidence: Alcohol worsens depression, anxiety, and stress over time

12:54 Practical tool: Name the hard thing out loud or write it down

14:58 Reflection exercise: “I don’t think I could cope with ___ without a drink.”

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 140

What if the craving you feel for a drink is actually a craving for relief, regulation, or connection, and there’s another, more healing way to get it? In this episode, your host Anna Donaghey is joined by breathwork practitioner Jon Paul Crimi, whose powerful personal story weaves together addiction, grief, emotional numbness, and a breathwork experience that profoundly shifted his life.

They discuss why most people reach for alcohol (it isn’t what you think), how drinking becomes our “solution” for regulating uncomfortable emotions, and the striking similarities between addiction and the universal longing for a shift in state. Jon Paul breaks down what breathwork really is (spoiler: it’s not just box breathing!) and shares how circular, connected breathwork specifically offers a physiological and emotional “reboot” making space for release, self-connection, and even joy. Anna shares her first-hand experience with his class, highlighting how breathwork can offer real, lasting relief that alcohol promises but can’t deliver.

Whether you’re sober-curious, in recovery, or just looking to break free from unhelpful patterns and cravings, this conversation points to practical, science-backed ways to rethink your drinking.

Highlights:

00:00 Welcome & intro to breathwork

01:01 Jon Paul’s story: addiction, loss, and seeking relief

04:13 When drinking goes from fun to just problems

07:29 The emotional “arrest” that comes from early drinking

08:25 Grief, trauma, and the search for tools

11:05 Why our brains equate alcohol with relief

14:15 What finally made sobriety stick

19:26 How breathwork entered Jon Paul’s life 12 years into sobriety

22:44 The first breathwork class: from scepticism to transformation

28:01 How breathwork helps regulate cravings, states, and emotions

30:17 Craving isn’t the enemy, it’s information

34:10 Breathwork vs. psychedelics: power inside YOU

35:48 What actually happens in a circular breathwork class

39:00 “Turning off your brain” and moving into your heart

46:08 Using breathwork for current and past pain, grief, and shame

52:16 Cravings, choices, and living an extraordinary life.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Jon Paul Crimi:

Jon Paul Crimi is a world-renowned breathwork facilitator, teacher trainer, and recovery advocate - known for a zero-filter, East Coast approach that strips breathwork of its "New Agey" reputation and replaces it with something practical and results-driven enough to win over sceptics, CEOs, and everyday people alike.

He started out as an actor, celebrity fitness trainer, and sober coach in Los Angeles, carrying his own struggles with alcoholism, addiction, and low self-worth long before he found a way through them. Almost by accident, around 15 years ago, he wandered into a breathwork class and had a transformation so profound in that first session that it reshaped the entire direction of his life. He's now 26 years sober, and that lived experience - not theory - is what sits underneath everything he teaches.

His method is trauma-informed at its core, built around somatic release, nervous system regulation, and processing the emotional weight people carry without always knowing it. It's also gone mainstream in a way few breathwork practices have.

He runs weekly live classes, digital workshops, and his Emotional Detox course.

You can find him, and all of it, at: https://breathewithjp.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 139

What if your drinking is driven less by choice and more by invisible beliefs running beneath the surface? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey breaks down how beliefs act as our “operating system,” quietly driving our thoughts and behaviours, especially around alcohol. Anna reveals why it’s so difficult to spot the beliefs shaping our drinking, how to distinguish between a thought and a belief, and why simply changing behaviour rarely works unless you dig deeper.

With practical examples and the “reverse chain” technique (starting with your behaviour and working backwards), Anna offers clear tools, including the powerful “downward arrow” method to help you uncover the beliefs at the root of your drinking habits and gently rethink your relationship with alcohol.

Highlights:

00:00 Welcome & intro

00:41 Recap: The belief “pyramid” and last solo episode

01:20 Why beliefs matter more than thoughts or behaviours

03:10 The difference between a thought and a belief

05:07 Real-world examples: how beliefs quietly shape our actions

12:18 “Alcohol, please help me...”, the jobs we hand to booze

13:38 How habits and beliefs wire together neurologically

14:44 Aaron Beck’s model: core beliefs vs. automatic thoughts

15:35 Why starting with your behaviour is the key to spotting beliefs

16:14 Step-by-step: working backwards from behaviour to belief

24:23 Free guide to run this process anytime

25:30 New episodes: breaking down the most common alcohol beliefs

26:14 Where to find helpful resources.

For the worksheet referred to in the episode, visit the toolkit full of free resources on Anna’s website thebigdrinkrethink.com, and download ‘How to Identify Your Drinking Beliefs’

Listen to Episode 137: The Beliefs Driving Your Drinking | Rethinking Alcohol, where Anna shares about the “Pyramid of Belief" and how deeply rooted feelings of “not enough” shape much of our behaviour, including our drinking habits.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 138

What if the life you’re chasing, and the drinking that comes with it, are both keeping you from the life you really want?

In this honest conversation, Anna Donaghey welcomes recovery and transition coach Alina Roselli, who shares her journey from living “outside-in” - seeking validation, people-pleasing and pushing through burnout, to soul-led sobriety and deep self-acceptance.

Together, they explore why we can lose ourselves trying to meet other people’s expectations, how burnout and exhaustion can force us to question the life we’re living, and why transformation isn’t simply about giving up alcohol, it's about discovering who you are without it.

They also explore self-worth, radical honesty, the trap of external validation and practical ways to start living more “inside-out”.

For anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol, their sense of purpose, or whether there could be more to life, this episode offers an invitation to stop chasing approval and start coming home to yourself.

Highlights:

00:00 Welcome & introduction to Alina Roselli

00:40 Alina’s unraveling, burnout, alcohol and not knowing herself

02:46 The culture of drinking and starting at 15

05:55 Seeking belonging and landing in “image-driven” circles

10:07 What is “outside-in” living and how it shaped Alina’s self worth

12:28 When alcohol shifts from fun to medicine

15:46 How self-image creates our lives (and can keep us lost)

16:43 Burnout as a wake-up call

17:40 Trying everything (yoga, therapy, self-help) but not getting better

23:27 Filling the “God-shaped hole” - how misaligned living leaves us empty

26:04 Making hard changes and letting go of old identities

28:46 Why inside-out living is terrifying and ultimately liberating

30:10 “Pain pushes until the vision pulls”: learning to listen to your soul

32:43 Finding calm, silence, and the right conditions to truly meet yourself

34:19 Discovering introversion, the need for solitude, and creative renewal

36:29 How the small actions revealed a bigger self and a life worth keeping

39:32 How to reconnect with your needs and stop abandoning yourself

41:36 The courage in honesty and the gifts waiting in the unknown

43:42 Acceptance, creativity, and the joy of simply feeling okay

46:35 Becoming yourself changes the world around you

49:33 People have no idea how amazing they are

50:19 How to join The Big Drink Rethink community.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Alina Roselli:

Alina is a recovery and transition coach who believes we are in an epidemic of not knowing who we truly are. Through her recovery and coaching work, she is witnessing firsthand how most people are living as smaller versions of themselves without knowing it. She's developed Soul Coordinates, a portrait that bypasses the mind entirely and reveals who you actually are underneath the survival strategies. Her online community and course, The Naked Soul Path on Skool, is an accessible way to come home to yourself in community. Her own journey through burnout, addiction recovery and self loss is the source of everything she offers

Connect with Alina: https://www.alinaroselli.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 137

What if your drinking habits aren’t really about alcohol at all, but about the quiet, powerful beliefs sitting beneath the surface? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey dives into the “Pyramid of Belief”, a simple framework that explains how deeply-rooted feelings of “not enough” shape much of our behaviour, including drinking.

Using lived experience and insights from Dave Gray’s "Liminal Thinking," Anna breaks down how our early experiences, the culture we grow up in, and the swirl of online comparison, all reinforce beliefs like “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not interesting enough,” and “I’m not enough, full stop.” She explores why alcohol so often becomes the go-to answer for the emotional discomfort those beliefs trigger and guides listeners through the first, vital steps to uncovering what they’re really thirsty for.

Highlights:

00:00 Welcome & intro

00:40 The "not enough" beliefs we rarely examine

01:13 Why this episode isn’t (really) about alcohol at first

02:14 What is the Pyramid of Belief

05:04 How our minds filter reality

05:57 How a single shame-triggering moment forms a core belief

09:03 Why you’re not flawed and how “not enough” beliefs got there

10:30 Anna Donaghey’s own formative “not smart enough” moment

13:39 The modern "comparison machine"

14:20 How alcohol soothes the “not enough” wound

16:15 Key question: “What is my drinking actually trying to answer for me?”

16:27 Find your own “I’m not enough” belief

17:47 What “I need...” before a drink reveals about your core beliefs

17:59 Why pinning down beliefs (not just thoughts) is tricky

18:42 Announcing a series exploring specific “not enough” beliefs

19:37 None of this is your fault

20:23 Resources & how to join The Big Drink Rethink community.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Mentioned in this episode:

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.