What if sobriety was just the beginning, not the destination? In this episode, Anna Donaghey sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Michaud, who draws on over 40 years of recovery and professional experience to explore the deep link between codependency, control, and unfulfilled needs. While getting sober is a huge step, Sarah reveals why the work often starts after the drinking stops as we swap one “fix” for another: relationships, work, food, or anything to soothe an uneasy mind.

Together, they explore where codependency begins, how it shows up in everyday choices (from dinner to major life patterns), and why true freedom starts with honesty, first with yourself, then with others. If you find yourself always looking outside for relief or suspect that “people pleasing” is costing you your peace, this episode offers validation, hope, and practical first steps toward a healthier relationship with yourself.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Intro: Recovery is about more than drinking

00:51 Meet Dr. Sarah Michaud: psychologist, author, and 42 years sober

03:20 Getting sober didn’t fix everything; the real work starts after alcohol

06:01 The cycle, looking for the next relationship, job, or fix

12:05 What is codependency? Explained simply, and why it matters

13:33 A brief history: codependency in addiction recovery

14:23 The inability to be yourself out of fear of others’ reactions

21:01 How unmet needs drive both drinking and codependency

22:30 Childhood patterns, why we bring old survival tactics into adulthood

24:07 Why many people swap addictions after sobriety

33:37 How community and reality checks break denial

35:00 Compassion is essential, but so is responsibility for your experience

50:17 You can know the truth and still take your time deciding what to do

52:54 “I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and behaviours”

54:42 Start by letting go of one thing you do for others

56:58 Don’t scroll past self-recognition; this is where the work starts.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Dr. Sarah Michaud:

Dr. Sarah Michaud is a clinical psychologist who has worked in the field of addiction and co-dependency for over 30 years. She is also the author of One psychologist's recovery from co-dependency and addiction: A memoir and manual for freedom.

She has been sober for over 40 years and brings her humour, directness, compassion and insight to support folks in recovery. She is also the cohost of a youtube channel called Leaving Crazytown with her best bud Finn where they talk all things recovery and have lots of laughs.

Connect with Sarah:

Website: https://drsarahmichaud.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Anna and fellow coach Tabbin Almond are excited to announce they’re hosting a free webinar on Thursday 9th July to share what they’ve learnt about what women actually need when they want to change their relationship with alcohol. You can save your spot here: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/webinar