Have you heard of emotional monitoring? It’s when you anticipate and accommodate other people’s emotions at the expense of your own. This might look like constantly wondering if someone is mad at you or checking in excessively to make sure they’re okay. Over time, this hypervigilance can be exhausting.

This week, Barb shares her experience of divorce after spending 33 years as the peacekeeper and emotional monitor in her marriage. Through our personal stories, Barb and Michelle explore how to recognize emotional monitoring and, more importantly, how to break free from it.

Key Takeaways from This Episode:

• Cultivate Awareness – Ask yourself: Are you walking on eggshells in certain relationships? Are you telling small lies or half-truths to avoid conflict?
• Give Yourself Time to Heal – Realizing you’ve been emotionally monitoring is a breakthrough, but change doesn’t happen overnight. Healing requires mindfulness, intentional shifts, and small but meaningful actions.
• Tune Into Your Own Feelings – Other people’s emotions aren’t your responsibility to manage. Pay attention to how you feel in these interactions. When stress or anxiety arise, shift your focus from fixing them to bringing yourself peace.
• Stay in Alignment With Your Truth – Before acting, pause and reflect: Am I doing this to fix things or to keep the peace? It’s not your job to clean up someone else’s mess—your role is to show up as your most authentic self.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at Michellemaros.com/podcast. 

You can also find us on Substack at Love Notes by Michelle Maros and Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Click here for Barb’s book, The Practice. 

This episode is sponsored by Factor, TruDiagnostic, & Happy Mammoth.

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