July 22, 2025

EP 229: Why Your Husband’s Workout & BFF's Lunch Choice Has Nothing to Do With Your Recovery (+ 3 Strategies to Break Free From Comparison)

24 minutes

Struggling with watching your husband grab a banana and head out for his 5-mile run while you're sitting with your full breakfast? Feeling guilty about eating meals when your friend skips lunch because she's "too busy"? This episode tackles the comparison trap that's keeping you stuck in eating disorder recovery. Lindsey gets raw and real about why other people's food and exercise choices have absolutely nothing to do with your healing journey.

Key Takeaways

Other people's food and exercise choices have nothing to do with your recovery

You're not comparing apples to apples - you're comparing apples to pineapples

Comparison is literally increasing your risk of ED relapse

Your recovery is not up for a vote

Stop giving mental energy to other people's plates and start celebrating your own healing

🧠 The Hidden Truth About Why You Compare

The science behind your comparison brain (Social Comparison Theory)

How your ED voice hijacks normal brain processes

Why comparison feels logical but leads you away from healing

The difference between recovering and "normal" relationships with food

🔍 The Three Comparison Traps

Exercise Comparison: "Why does he get to run when I need rest?"

Food Comparison: "She only ate half her meal and I finished mine"

Body Comparison: "They look amazing and barely work out"

⚡ The Real Cost of Comparison

2020 study: Social comparison = strongest predictor of ED relapse

How comparison steals your present moment

Why shame keeps you stuck in the disorder cycle

The difference between shame vs. grace in recovery

🛠️ Practical Tools to Break Free

Tool #1: The Reality Check Questions

"Am I comparing my recovery to someone's normal?"

"What would I tell my best friend thinking this?"

"Is this thought moving me toward or away from healing?"

Tool #2: The Information Gathering Technique

Get curious instead of assuming

Remember you don't see the full picture

Challenge your assumptions about "normal"

Tool #3: The Redirect and Refocus

Name it: "I'm comparing again"

Redirect: "My recovery is about MY healing"

Refocus: "What does MY body need right now?"

Powerful Quotes from This Episode

"You're not comparing apples to apples - you're comparing apples to trauma recovery."

"Your recovery is not a democracy. It's not up for a vote."

"Comparison is the thief of joy, but it's also the thief of recovery progress."

"The most rebellious thing you can do against your eating disorder is to stop caring what everyone else is doing."

Scripture References

Proverbs 14:12: "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death."

Isaiah 43:19: "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"

Research & Studies Mentioned

2019 Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology: Limiting social comparison reduced depression/anxiety in one week

2020 International Journal of Eating Disorders: Social comparison as strongest predictor of ED relapse

Dr. Leon Festinger's Social Comparison Theory

Journal Prompts

"When I compare myself to others, what am I really afraid of?"

"What lies is my eating disorder voice telling me when I compare?"

"If I stopped caring about what others ate or exercised, what would change?"

"What would I do differently if I truly believed my recovery was worth prioritizing?"

"How is comparison serving my eating disorder rather than my healing?"

New Identity Statement

"I am not my husband. I am not my friend. I am not social media. I am a woman in recovery, and my healing journey is sacred. Other people's choices have nothing to do with my recovery needs. I choose progress over comparison, healing over hiding, and my recovery over everyone else's opinion."

The Opposite Action Challenge

This Week's Homework:

Compare to your PAST self, not others

When you catch comparison: Thank your brain → Remind yourself comparison doesn't help → Take one recovery action → Celebrate that action

Practice the new identity statement daily

What Recovery Really Looks Like

Your meal plan matters more than what's on anyone else's plate

Rest days are as important as workout days

Your healing journey takes priority over fitting in

Doing what YOUR body needs, regardless of others

Connect with Lindsey

Website: www.herbestself.co

Private Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com

Client Application: Client Application

About the Host

Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. After finding freedom from her own eating disorder, she now helps women break free from obsessive food thoughts and comparison traps to live their best lives in recovery.

If this episode called you out (in the best way), please leave a rating and review! Your support helps more women break free from the comparison trap that's keeping them stuck.

* While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

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By Lindsey Nichol - Certified Health Coach, Eating Disorder Recovery Coach, Food Freedom Coach, Eating Disorder Intuitive Therapy Certified

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