In this powerful and tender episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m opening up about something that so many people in eating disorder recovery experience but rarely speak about: intimacy.

When your body is changing and you’re learning to feel again, sex and closeness can stir up shame, fear, and deep vulnerability. You might question your worth, wonder how to be seen in your new body, or feel overwhelmed by returning desire. You might even feel numb, disconnected, or unsure how to let someone close when you’re still trying to come home to yourself.

This conversation was inspired by a beautiful message I received from someone in recovery—and from my own experience. If you’re struggling with intimacy, please know: you are not broken, and you are not alone.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why intimacy often felt performative or disconnected during the eating disorder

• How disconnection, people-pleasing and body shame show up in sex

• What it means when your sex drive disappears… and when it comes rushing back

• The nervous system truth behind sudden desire (and why it can feel like extreme hunger)

• How to stop performing and start feeling again—on your own terms

• Rebuilding safety in your body through small, gentle steps

• Communicating with your partner when you feel too exposed, too emotional, or not enough

• Letting intimacy evolve into something real, raw, and deeply healing

This episode is a love letter to anyone who feels confused or overwhelmed by intimacy in recovery. It’s not about getting it perfect—it’s about allowing yourself to be present, vulnerable, and loved just as you are.

If you’re feeling messy, unsure or alone in this part of recovery, this is for you.

Resources & Support
🌿 Join the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle – a private, supportive community where we talk honestly about every part of recovery, including intimacy
🌿 Looking for more personal support? Apply for 1:1 coaching with me
🌿 Explore the Feelings Navigator to support yourself through discomfort: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/how-are-you-feeling

In this powerful episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by someone whose story and work I deeply admire—Dr Rachel Evans. Rachel is a chartered psychologist, hypnotherapist, and podcast host with her own lived experience of bulimia recovery. Known for her compassionate and trauma-informed approach, she supports individuals who feel trapped in cycles of food obsession, body hatred, purging, and compulsive exercise.

Together, we explore a part of eating disorders that often lives in the shadows—purging behaviours. Whether it’s vomiting, laxatives, or over-exercising, these actions often feel impossible to stop. Rachel opens up about her personal journey through restriction, bingeing, and purging, revealing the emotional layers, life pressures, and deep-rooted fears that fed her eating disorder.

We discuss:

• How control, perfectionism, and fear of rejection can fuel purging behaviours

• Why purging often becomes a coping mechanism beyond just ‘getting rid of food’

• The physical and emotional impact of purging on the body and mind

• The turning point that made Rachel say “enough” and begin true healing

• How to begin understanding your own urges to purge with curiosity, not shame

• The role of identity, academic pressure, and self-worth in recovery

• Why awareness and self-compassion are the first steps to lasting change

Rachel’s story is a testament to what’s possible when we stop fighting symptoms and start listening to what they’re trying to tell us. Whether you’re struggling with purging yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.

You can find Rachel on Instagram at @rachel.evans.phd or visit her website at eatingdisordertherapist.co.uk to explore her work and book a free consultation.

Julia will also be appearing on Rachel’s podcast soon—so stay tuned!

Julia Trehane is a specialist anorexia recovery coach who blends lived experience with compassionate, practical tools to help others achieve full freedom from eating disorders. To access workshops, courses, community support and 24/7 recovery tools, join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle today: www.edrecoverycircle.com/join

Keywords: bulimia recovery, purging behaviours, compulsive exercise, binge purge cycle, eating disorder recovery, emotional healing, trauma-informed, body image, laxative abuse, stop purging, overcome bulimia, eating disorder therapist

This episode of Fly to Freedom is a heartfelt answer to a listener question that echoes what so many people feel in eating disorder recovery: How do I find the willpower to recover when it feels like I love both anorexia and recovery?

If you’ve ever felt torn—like you're standing between two lives, both calling your name—this episode is for you.

I’m sitting down with you, heart to heart, to explore the unbearable split that can happen in recovery. When one part of you is desperate for peace and freedom, and another part is still clinging to the eating disorder, it can feel like choosing between two identities, two versions of love, or two paths that both feel vital.

But what if it’s not willpower that you need?
What if it’s clarity?

In this episode, I share:

• Why it’s not weakness to feel torn between recovery and anorexia

• What’s really going on in your brain, body, and nervous system that keeps you attached to the eating disorder

• Why anorexia often feels like love, but is actually a trauma bond disguised as safety

• How to begin choosing recovery even when you don’t feel ready

• A powerful journaling practice and practical steps to take when you feel stuck

• The difference between survival mode and fully living—and why you deserve so much more than just surviving

Whether you’re at the very start of recovery or deep in the messy middle, this episode is a loving invitation to see things more clearly, to stop waiting for courage to arrive, and to begin choosing yourself again and again.

You don’t need more willpower.
You need support. You need truth. You need love.
And you’re allowed to take the next step—even if your hands are shaking.

Resources & Support
🌱 Come and be held in the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — our private, compassionate recovery community filled with people who truly get it.

💬 If this episode brought something up for you, feel free to reach out on Instagram or email me your thoughts or questions — I love hearing from you.

🎧 And if you're ready for deeper, personalised support, I currently have a few 1:1 coaching spaces available.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. You never did.
And you were always enough—just as you are.

This month, Victoria and I sat down for another open-hearted Q&A, where we answered your beautiful, brave, and deeply honest questions about recovery.

From the fear of weight gain to exercising in a free body… from feeling lost in free time to wondering whether you’ve truly reached your set point weight… we covered so much of what recovery really looks and feels like – the messy, the magical, and everything in between.

Whether you’re in the thick of fear or starting to sense your own strength coming through, I promise you’ll find something here that speaks to your heart.

In this episode, we explore:

• 🔸 How I gave myself permission to let go of control – and how you can too

• 🔸 Why fear of judgment is part of the process – and how to stop letting it define you

• 🔸 My honest experience of movement after recovery (and why I quit CrossFit… again)

• 🔸 What to do when you feel like you’re rebelling against recovery

• 🔸 How I support my clients navigating recovery and motherhood

• 🔸 The truth about fear of weight gain – and how I finally stopped letting it control my life

• 🔸 How to know if you’ve reached your set point weight

• 🔸 Recognising subtle food and exercise rules – even when you think you don’t have any

• 🔸 Mindset tools I use with clients before meals (and still use myself!)

• 🔸 My thoughts on DBT in recovery – and what I believe it misses

• 🔸 Why free time can feel scary – and how I learned to enjoy it again

I also shared some of my personal favourite recovery tools, including how I support my body after movement, how I help clients connect with their 'higher self' before meals, and why recording affirmations in your own voice can be so healing.

If you’re asking “How do I know if I’m really recovering?” or “Why does this still feel so hard?” – this episode is for you. And I hope it reminds you that you're never alone.

🔗 I mentioned:

• Join the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle to access tools like the Feelings Navigator, Finding Your WHY, recovery chat spaces, and every workshop I reference in this episode.

• Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer – a great read if you’re trying to separate your identity from the eating disorder.

💞 Ready for deeper support in your recovery?
Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you'll find 24/7 encouragement, courses, expert workshops, and the kind of community where you never have to explain what you're going through — because we already understand.

If you’re ready to move through fear, challenge old patterns, and build a life beyond the eating disorder, you’ll never feel so supported to recover.

Click here to join us – we’re waiting to welcome you in.

In this episode, I’m speaking to the part of you that’s exhausted — the part that’s wondering if recovery is really worth it.

Maybe you're eating more than you ever thought you could. You feel uncomfortable in your body. Your mind is loud, full of guilt and panic, and you're starting to ask... Why am I even doing this?

I asked myself that same question so many times. I lived most of my life stuck in survival mode, functioning but never really living. I thought control was safety. But recovery showed me that true freedom is possible — and that it's worth every hard, terrifying step.

In this episode, I’m sharing what recovery really gives you. Not just food freedom — but emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual freedom too. A life that feels full, joyful, and real. And I want you to know: you are not too far gone. You don’t have to be “sick enough” to deserve healing. You are allowed to want more.

And if you’re doing this alone right now, please know — you don’t have to.

Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, I’ve created a place where you can find the support, guidance, and connection you need. You’ll get access to expert tools, lived experience coaching, loving community spaces, and courses to help you through every stage of recovery. It’s like being wrapped in support — even on your hardest days.

• The true cost of staying in the eating disorder, even when you’re “managing”

• Why perfection and people pleasing aren’t safety — they’re a cage

• The freedom recovery offers in your body, your emotions, and your relationships

• Why your healing isn’t selfish — it’s a ripple that touches every life around you

• How recovery reconnects you with your worth, your truth, and your joy

If you’ve been doubting whether this fight is worth it… let this be your reminder:
You were born to be free. Not perfect. Just fully, wonderfully you.

💛 Want support that actually gets it? Come join me inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle.

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by Dr Cristina Castagnini, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist whose work focuses exclusively on helping women heal their relationship with food and their bodies. Cristina is also the host of the Behind the Bite podcast, where she dismantles harmful eating disorder myths and supports recovery with compassion and clarity.

We explore Cristina’s personal journey with a long-standing eating disorder, the shocking moment that sparked her full recovery, and the deeply ingrained societal beliefs that keep so many trapped in cycles of disordered eating. From early body shame to SlimFast diets, and the rise of "wellness" trends that mask restriction, this episode is an eye-opening and honest look at what it truly takes to heal.

Together, we discuss:

• Cristina’s personal story and what finally pushed her into real recovery

• How diet culture disguises itself as health

• The danger of BMI, especially for children and in clinical settings

• The power of curating your social media to support recovery

• Why commenting on appearance—even with good intentions—can be deeply harmful

• And why full recovery is not only possible… it is absolutely real

If you’ve ever felt discouraged by the idea that eating disorders are lifelong, or if you're struggling with fear around body image and food, this episode is here to remind you that full freedom is not just a hope—it’s a reality.

Connect with Dr Cristina Castagnini
🎧 Listen to her podcast: Behind the Bite
🌐 Website + Contact: www.behindthebitepodcast.com
📱Instagram and socials linked via website

Don't forget that my Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here to support you!

More at https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/

In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm exploring a topic that’s rarely talked about openly, but is a reality for many in eating disorder recovery: purging.

Whether it takes the form of self-induced vomiting, laxative abuse, or compulsive exercise, purging isn’t really about food. It’s about fear. About shame. About trying to escape from overwhelming emotions and regain a sense of control—often at the cost of your physical and emotional wellbeing.

Together, we’ll unpack:

• The emotional and psychological reasons why people purge, even after a normal meal or snack

• How trauma, perfectionism, and beliefs about control and worth drive purging behaviours

• The dangerous myths behind purging—especially the false idea that it “undoes” eating or prevents weight gain

• The physical consequences of purging through vomiting, laxatives, or overexercise

• What recovery from purging really feels like—and why it’s possible even when it feels terrifying

And most importantly, I’ll guide you through:

• How to break the purge cycle with practical steps like interrupting the urge, softening your inner critic, and creating safer rituals for emotional release

• How to stabilise your nourishment and rewire your nervous system to feel safe with food, fullness, and rest

• What freedom from purging actually looks like—and why it’s worth fighting for

If you’re struggling with bulimia, purging anorexia, or compensatory behaviours like overexercise, this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and supported.

Because healing doesn’t happen through punishment.
It begins with compassion.
And you are worthy of healing—no matter how long you’ve been stuck in the cycle.

With love always,
Julia x

💬 Looking for a safe place to recover from purging behaviours?

Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle—my private membership community for eating disorder recovery.

Inside, you’ll find:

• Recovery courses on trauma, body image, fear of weight gain, and more

• Workshops and Q&A sessions designed to help you stop purging and build self-trust

• Chat rooms for real-time support and our Feelings Navigator to help you work through difficult urges safely

You don’t have to do this alone. And you were never meant to.

🎧 Keywords included in this episode: purging in eating disorders, why people purge, eating disorder recovery, bulimia recovery, purging after eating, anorexia purging subtype, stop purging, self-induced vomiting, laxative abuse recovery, compulsive exercise recovery, how to stop purging, emotional regulation in eating disorders, trauma and purging, body image and control, refeeding and shame, fear of weight gain recovery

In this deeply moving episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by fellow eating disorder recovery coach, Sarah Rzemieniak, who shares her powerful personal story of healing from anorexia and finding her way back to herself.

Sarah opens up about the roots of her eating disorder, which began at age 12 during a time of emotional insecurity, perfectionism, and disconnection. Her story takes us through years of treatment, early recovery, and a relapse in her 20s that forced her to confront the deeper truths beneath the symptoms. What followed was a profound journey into spirituality, meditation, and inner work that changed everything.

In this conversation, Sarah talks about:

• The early patterns of anxiety, people-pleasing, and emotional loneliness that shaped her eating disorder

• How the absence of emotional safety led to attaching to the eating disorder for a sense of control

• Her turning point: seeking help at just 12 years old, and how treatment both helped and fell short

• The moment she realised her recovery had been based on external validation—not true healing

• How spirituality, solo travel to India, and a meditation practice helped her rebuild her self-worth from within

• Becoming a mother and what she now sees through the eyes of her own children

• The transition from being a dietitian to becoming a recovery coach, and why that shift brought her deeper into her purpose

• What full recovery really means to her today

Sarah’s story is honest, emotional, and full of wisdom that will speak straight to your heart. Whether you're in the early stages of recovery or years into the process, her insight into self-worth, love, and healing offers profound reassurance that freedom is not only possible—but waiting for you.

Guest Bio:
Sarah Rzemieniak is a Carolyn Costin Institute Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach who has been in private practice since 2018. She provides 1:1 support to individuals around the world and now leads a small team of other CCI-certified coaches. Formerly an eating disorder dietitian, Sarah now works solely in coaching and counselling. She considers herself fully recovered from anorexia nervosa and lives in Vancouver, Canada with her husband and two young sons.

Connect with Sarah:
Instagram: @sarah.rzemieniak.coaching
Website: sarahrzemieniak.com

Listen now and discover:
→ Why eating disorders so often start with unmet emotional needs
→ The power of spiritual practice in long-term healing
→ How to recognise when you’re only “functionally recovered”
→ What it really takes to reconnect with your worth

With love always,
Julia x

The fear of weight gain is one of the most paralysing and misunderstood parts of eating disorder recovery. And in this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m not sugar-coating it. I’m answering the question I get asked more than any other: Can I actually stop being afraid of gaining weight?

The truth is, yes—you can. But not in the way your brain probably hopes. Recovery isn’t about waiting for the fear to go before you take action. It’s about taking action even while the fear is loud. In this episode, I unpack what’s really behind the fear of weight gain—beyond body image—and why so many people stay stuck even after their weight is restored.

We’ll explore:

• Why gaining weight doesn’t magically remove the fear

• The deep childhood beliefs and emotional wiring that feed body shame

• Why this fear is part of the eating disorder itself—not a neutral preference

• The real reason people still struggle after physical recovery

• How to meet the younger part of you who internalised the belief that thinness meant safety

• What it takes to move through fear with self-compassion instead of perfectionism

You’ll walk away with powerful insights and practical mindset shifts to help you stop letting fear make your decisions, and start choosing recovery with your whole heart—even when it’s hard.

💛 If this episode speaks to you, the Overcoming the Fear of Weight Gain course is now available as a standalone offering outside of The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle—for a limited time only. This is the course that’s helped so many people begin their freedom journey from this exact fear.

Go HERE to find out more.

And if you want a loving, supportive space to be held while you walk this path, come and join us inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle.

You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to stop letting fear decide your future.

Julia Trehane is a specialist anorexia recovery coach supporting people to rebuild their lives and bodies with compassion, honesty, and unshakeable belief in full recovery.

#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #mentalhealth #selflove #edawareness #bodyimage #endthestigma #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #bulimia

You’re Not Broken – The System Is: A Raw Conversation About Healing with Lucy Aphramor

This episode of Fly to Freedom is not just a conversation about recovery. It’s a deep reckoning with the systems that have shaped how we think about food, health, and bodies — and how we can begin to reclaim our truth.

Julia is joined by Lucy Aphramor (they/them), a radical dietitian, poet, and justice-centred educator whose Well Now approach reimagines nutrition through the lens of compassion, lived experience, and social change. Together, they unpack the myths of weight management, the fallacy of 'healthy eating' guidelines, and the oppressive roots of mainstream public health narratives.

Lucy shares powerful insights about:

• Why public health nutrition is an equity issue

• How traditional health education often reinforces oppression

• The myth of evidence-based weight loss

• Why eating disorder recovery is inseparable from social justice

• What it means to centre community, compassion, and care in healing

• How body shame is socially shaped, and why self-compassion is essential for unlearning

• A poetic lens on health, worth, and resistance

This episode is a must-listen if you've ever felt confused by health advice, struggled with body image, or questioned the deeper systems influencing eating disorders. Whether you’re in recovery or supporting someone who is, Lucy’s wisdom offers a radical shift in how we can approach healing — not just as individuals, but as a community.

📝 Mentioned in this episode:

• World Critical Dietetics: https://www.criticaldietetics.org

• Lucy’s courses and open-access work are available on their website (linked in the show notes)

✨ Don’t miss Lucy’s closing poem — a powerful reminder that “warmth and regard and community are nutrients too.”

Hosted by Julia Trehane, an anorexia recovery coach and founder of the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, this podcast is dedicated to helping people find full freedom from eating disorders through compassion, connection, and truth.

Get Coached 1:1 by Julia

https://juliatrehane.com

🌀 Explore The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join
💖 Try the Feelings Navigator: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/how-are-you-feeling

• Mann, T., Tomiyama, A. J., Westling, E., Lew, A. M., Samuels, B., & Chatman, J. (2007). Medicare's Search for Effective Obesity Treatments: Diets Are Not the Answer. American Psychologist, 62(3), 220–233. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.62.3.220

• Howard, B. V., Manson, J. E., Stefanick, M. L., et al. (2006). Low-fat dietary pattern and weight change over 7 years: the Women's Health Initiative Dietary Modification Trial. JAMA, 295(1), 39–49. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.295.1.39

• Marmot, M. G. (2006). Status syndrome: a challenge to medicine. JAMA, 295(11), 1304–1307. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.295.11.1304

📚 References Cited by Lucy Aphramor: