Hey everyone, Colette and Laura here! This week, we’re diving deep into one of the biggest, most emotionally loaded topics: What makes a good mother? If you’re a parent (or ever had one), you’ve likely asked yourself this question in some form—whether it’s self-reflection, societal pressure, or those internalized voices from childhood.

We unpack the emotional complexities of motherhood, the impact of attachment, and how our childhood experiences shape the way we parent. Plus, we dive into the wild case of Ruby Franke—the “mommy blogger” turned convicted abuser—to contrast what real maternal love looks like versus performative parenting. We also get personal about our own mothering styles, the mistakes we’ve made, and the lessons we’ve learned. This episode is raw, honest, and full of insights that might just shift the way you think about motherhood.

 

Episode Highlights:

[0:02] – Kicking off the conversation: What really makes a “good mother”?

[1:44] – The constant self-questioning of moms: Am I doing this right?

[2:11] – The shocking case of Ruby Franke—what happens when motherhood is all about image and control.

[6:37] – How we model (or reject) our own mothers’ parenting styles.

[10:14] – One of the most critical traits of a good mom: Knowing where you end and your child begins.

[12:30] – The emotional burden some mothers put on their children (and how to break the cycle).

[15:29] – The role of discipline: Leading with warmth vs. using shame and control.

[21:10] – Parenting different personalities: How to adapt to your child’s unique needs.

[23:53] – Why the parent-child relationship is always top-down (yes, even when your kids are adults).

[31:15] – What our own kids say makes a good mom (these answers might surprise you!).

[36:35] – The lifelong impact of emotional safety and feeling unconditionally loved.

[42:42] – Why telling kids an age-appropriate truth is crucial for their stability and trust.

[46:24] – The viral “Door Holder #3” moment that perfectly captures great parenting. 

 

Resources:

Door Holder Number 3 Video: https://youtube.com/shorts/T8AlmEjmtLU?si=1-eDTo6MSAesGgkj 

For more on this topic visit our website insightsfromthecouch.org If you have questions please email us at [email protected] we would love to hear from you!

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, fol

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.