How do we create deep, secure, and lasting relationships—not just in romance, but in parenting, friendships, and even with ourselves? In this episode, we sit down with Tara Boothby, psychologist, author of Love and Love’s Energy, and expert in attachment science. She takes us on a journey into the heart of connection, breaking down the complexities of attachment styles, emotional safety, and the power of co-regulation.

We explore the difference between being loved and lovable, how attachment wounds impact our relationships, and why true security is something we earn over time. Plus, Tara shares her own evolution from skepticism about attachment theory to fully embracing what she calls “love science.” 

Tara Boothby, Registered Psychologist, and Author of "Love and Love's Energy: How Attachment Science Proves That Love Nurtures Our Biological Nature, Impacts Our Positive View of Ourselves, of Others, and of God, and Teaches Us All How to Love."

 

Episode Highlights:

[00:03] - Welcome! Introducing Tara Boothby & the power of attachment science.
[02:23] - How Tara went from doubting attachment theory to embracing “love science”.
[04:26] - The truth about attachment styles: It’s not as simple as you think.
[06:36] - What it really means to be securely attached (hint: it’s a process, not a label).
[09:20] - The hidden fears behind our relationship struggles.
[14:02] - Co-regulation vs. self-regulation: Why we heal faster in relationships.
[19:25] - The importance of repair in relationships & why small moments matter most.
[32:02] - “Earning” security: Can we heal from past attachment wounds?
[40:26] - Knowing when to press pause (or end) on unhealthy relationships.
[50:11] - Loving yourself: The foundation of all secure relationships.

 

Resources:

• "Love and Love’s Energy" can be found on Amazon worldwide, Kindle, and Barnes and Noble.
• Instagram:
  • Tara Boothby: https://www.instagram.com/tara_boothby/profilecard/?igsh=anpwbGs1eXMwaHVl 
  • Sojourn Psychology: https://www.instagram.com/sojournpsychology/profilecard/?igsh=MTZ5azlsYjJjZG9sbg%3D%3D               
• Website: https://sojo.ca/ 
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SojournPsychology 
• 🔥Get Clear on What You Want in Your Sex

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

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Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.