In this episode, we're joined by one of our absolute favorite authors and experts, Dr. Meg Jay, PhD. She's a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of The Defining Decade and The 20-Something Treatment, and she dives deep with us into why our 20s are such a defining time—and how many of the same principles can also empower us in midlife.

We explore identity capital, weak ties, economic uncertainty, and how to better support our 20-something children as they navigate early adulthood. If you're in your 40s or 50s and parenting adult children, or just looking to reimagine your own next chapter, this conversation is packed with validation, insight, and incredibly practical advice. You do not want to miss this one!

 

Episode Highlights:

 [0:40] - Welcoming Dr. Meg Jay and fangirling over The Defining Decade 

[3:36] - Why your 20s are the most uncertain and anxiety-filled decade 

[5:53] - The myth of the carefree 20s and how financial constraints factor in 

[8:17] - The stress of unstructured life after college and the reality of job-hopping 

[10:12] - Identity capital: what it is and why it matters 

[14:57] - Learning from jobs you don't love (hello, Rolling Stone fashion closet!) 

[16:20] - How perfectionism and enabling parenting can keep 20-somethings stuck 

[20:05] - The "redefining decade": applying these principles to midlife 

[21:22] - The power of weak ties and how to actually use them 

[24:25] - Gen Z vs Gen X: similarities, differences, and the impact of social media 

[26:21] - Economic challenges and the nuance of living with your parents 

[30:06] - Launching vs enabling: helping adult children become independent

[33:20] - Teaching resilience: tolerating uncertainty without pathologizing it 

[34:08] - From cooking to job skills: the basics that build real confidence 

[36:18] - Helping young adults recognize and activate their own agency 

[38:50] - Dating intentionally: choosing your partner is choosing your family 

[42:09] - Avoiding emotional entanglement before compatibility is clear 

[44:57] - Trial, error, and the wisdom of approaching dating like job searching

 

 Links & Resources:

• Dr. Meg Jay’s Website: https://megjay.com/ 
• Dr. Meg Jay’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmegjay 

 

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meanin

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.