Insights from the Couch - Real Talk for Women at Midlife

Ep.77: Why Holiday Burnout Hits Women Hardest and How to Fix It


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The holidays are here, and if you’re already feeling that mix of excitement, pressure, and low-key dread, you’re in good company. In this episode, we dig into why holiday burnout hits women so disproportionately hard, how old expectations keep sneaking in, and what we can actually do to reclaim joy, presence, and a sense of sanity this season. From perfectionism and invisible labor to new traditions and deliciously low-effort holiday moments, we’re getting honest about what has to shift.

Together, we explore the inner work, the practical strategies, and the gentle permission slips that help us show up for the holidays in a way that feels good—without losing ourselves or burning out in the process. If you've ever felt torn between wanting magic and wanting a nap, this is your episode.

 

Episode Highlights:

[0:03] – Kicking off the convo: why holiday burnout hits women hardest
 [1:54] – Laura reflects on past years of over-functioning through the holidays
 [3:08] – The pressure of “perfect” holidays and the invisible mental load
 [4:52] – The struggle of asking for help and shedding generational conditioning
 [6:11] – Family-of-origin expectations and the identity tied to holiday perfection
 [9:03] – The emotional payoff vs. resentment check-in
 [10:08] – Letting go of perfect, simplifying, and knowing your “why”
 [12:22] – Delegation, releasing control, and tolerating the discomfort
 [14:11] – When your aesthetics get in the way of shared experiences
 [15:40] – Creating new rituals and letting go of traditions that no longer fit
 [18:18] – Low-effort connection and shared experiences that truly matter
 [20:03] – Embracing flexibility and shifting holiday dates without guilt
 [21:44] – Managing blended family holidays and redefining “the day”
 [22:22] – Avoiding consumer overwhelm and choosing experiences over stuff
 [23:52] – Gift ideas that foster connection (and zero clutter)
 [25:18] – Silent Book Clubs, parallel play, and refreshing social rituals
 [26:55] – Reclaiming meaningful ritual with creativity and openness
 [27:55] – The power of daily gratitude and shifting the emotional tone
 [28:15] – Preparing for others’ disappointment when you take things down a notch
 [28:40] – Emotional maturity, boundaries, and choosing what truly matters
 [30:01] – Final reminders for a holiday season rooted in joy, not pressure

 

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Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

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Insights from the Couch - Real Talk for Women at MidlifeBy Colette Fehr, Laura Bowman

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