Send us a text

Victim Blaming is a constant element of the failure of systems and individuals to appropriately and effectively address violence and safety. We find victim blaming as a common element no matter where we train in the world, no matter what cultural context we encounter. Why is this so? How does victim blaming impact victims and survivors in their willingness to work with systems, how do systems engage in their own forms of fear based 'coercive control' to try and coerce victims into safety to the detriment of well-being, nurturance and parent child bonding? David Mandel and Ruth Stearns Mandel look at this issue from both a personal and professional lens and break down the different streams of victim blaming and offer concrete advice for how to Partner with Survivors rather than blame them. 

Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both and men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation, when it comes to coercive control, is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse makes it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions. 

Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real

Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."

Visit the Safe & Together Institute website

Start taking Safe & Together Institute courses

Check out Safe & Together Institute upcoming events