How do you know if the unfaithful is using the betrayed for their own insecurities or affirmation, and what are the warning signs? Do unfaithful partners actually use their partners or spouses to feel good about themselves?

Sadly, the answer is yes, sometimes we do. When we're unsafe and not committed to or working any specific plan or program, we're dangerous. As one clinician says, "we are human wrecking balls, using and destroying everyone in our path."

The very instance of betrayal can leave the betrayed feeling they were never really loved and were just used to fuel the unfaithful's narcissism. From emotional detachment to distancing and isolation to manipulation and coercion, is it any wonder the betrayed partner struggles to believe they were or are still wanted by the unfaithful?

When our words and actions don't match and we refuse to follow through on promises or even the slightest of commitments, we leave our betrayed partner feeling not only confused but hopeless for long term change and healing. When the overall tone of an unfaithful is an apparent unwillingness to be loving, empathetic or sacrificial, what is the betrayed left to believe?

In today's episode, we'll discuss both subtle and not so subtle behaviors as well as outline a list of red flags to look for which describe the heart and mindset of the unfaithful. We know that not all unfaithfuls are the same and not all unfaithfuls are using their partners or spouses. However, as you listen and process through today's information, use it as once again a litmus test to determine your mental and emotional health as an unfaithful partner. Use it as a yardstick to see where your sincerity and commitment to restoration measure up.

You just might be surprised at where you land?

We wish the best for each of you in your own recovery and desperately hope for your relationship's healing. Not all marriages or relationships can be saved, but every person committed to personal restoration has a chance. A chance to break free of old patters and find new purpose, meaning and hope.

Remember, time does not heal all wounds...it's what you do with the time that matters...

 

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