Judgment is one of the most hidden—but most powerful—forces keeping recovery stuck. In this episode, we take a deep dive into malignant self-judgment—the toxic inner dialogue that convinces unfaithful partners they are irredeemable, unworthy of love, and incapable of change.

We explore how internalized shame, perceived judgment, and self-condemnation erode emotional safety, block empathy, and shut down intimacy. More importantly, we offer tools to help you reframe, reconnect, and rebuild—starting with how you see yourself.

In this episode: • The 4 kinds of judgment in recovery (actual, perceived, internal, wise) • What makes self-judgment "malignant" and how it sabotages repair • How shame turns into emotional paralysis and relational avoidance • Why self-condemnation is not humility—it's self-protection • How to shift from identity shame to responsible action • Tools to reality-check judgmental thoughts and reclaim relational leadership

"You are not your worst moment. You are not your shame. You are capable of repair."   Do You Want the Companion Workbook? (COMING SHORTLY) Download it at: AskTheUnfaithful.com/Downloads

Do you have questions or therapy or coaching inquiries? Email us at: [email protected]

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To Healing, 

James and Sam

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Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com

Contact us: [email protected]

Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com

Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast

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