Ask the Unfaithful

Episode 50: The Arousal Template: Identifying Triggers and Blindspots


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In this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, Sam and James take a deep dive into one of the most misunderstood—and most important—concepts in infidelity recovery: the Arousal Template.

Too often, betrayed partners and unfaithful partners alike are left wondering: Why did this happen? Why do I keep making destructive choices? Can these unhealthy patterns ever change?

This episode delivers answers—by unpacking:

✅ What the Arousal Template actually is and why it’s so critical to understand

✅ How early life experiences shape your unconscious sexual and emotional triggers

✅ Why understanding your arousal template is essential for long-term relapse prevention

✅ How these patterns form in secrecy, shame, and unmet emotional needs

✅ Specific questions and exercises to start mapping your own template

✅ How to rewire unhealthy arousal patterns and build an intimacy-based, connection-driven life

This is a must-listen for any unfaithful partner serious about recovery—and for betrayed partners who want to better understand the underlying dynamics that drive betrayal behaviors.

⚠️ Note: This episode is educational, not therapy. Please reach out for professional guidance at [email protected] to learn more about coaching or intensive options.

📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Betrayed (@AskTheBetrayed on YouTube)

📧 Contact us: [email protected]

🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or email Sam at [email protected]

📘 Download the FREE workbook for this episode: https://www.asktheunfaithful.com/down...

 👍 Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Comment below to share what resonated most—or ask your question for a future episode.

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Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com

Contact us: [email protected]

Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com

Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast

Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157

Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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