Most people don’t realize how much of their relationship pain comes from patterns they never chose and beliefs they never questioned, and I’ve seen it over and over again.

In this episode, I’m joined by someone I’ve admired for a long time, relationship expert and author Jillian Turecki. Her new book, “It Begins With You: The Nine Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life,” is the kind of work that doesn’t just offer advice. It asks you to look inward. We talk about the ways we lose ourselves in relationships, the lies we tell ourselves to keep people close, and what it really means to grow after heartbreak. What does healthy love even look like? How do we know when we’re giving too much? Why do so many of us feel like we have to convince someone to stay?

Jillian shares so much of her insight and experience in this conversation: why deal breakers matter, how our family stories shape our love lives, and what it actually means to make peace with the past. One of the most powerful takeaways for me was her perspective on forgiveness, and how letting go doesn’t always mean condoning someone’s behavior. Sometimes it just means refusing to carry the story anymore.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, questioned your worth in a relationship, or wondered why you keep ending up in the same kind of dynamic, this one’s for you. I hope it leaves you feeling seen… and more importantly, ready to take your power back.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Jillian Turecki and Her Work

03:14 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Relationships

06:00 Defining Healthy Love

08:49 Understanding Deal Breakers in Relationships

11:57 The Complexity of Relationship Dynamics

15:08 The Myth of Fairy Tale Love

18:01 The Challenge of Convincing Someone to Love You

20:59 Processing Breakups and Moving Forward

24:00 Making Peace with Your Parents

36:49 Final Thoughts and Words of Wisdom

Links

Connect with Jillian Turecki:

https://www.jillianturecki.com/book

https://www.instagram.com/jillianturecki/?hl=en

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049

Connect with Dr. Z:

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

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