My friend Adam Maughan (from Avon Utah, Indy RM, not active in the Church, conversion therapy survivor) joins us to bravely share his story. Adam starts with realizing he was attracted to men prior to his mission but believed exercising his faith through increased religious behaviors would make him straight and acceptable to God. However once on his mission, it became apparent to Adam that his feelings for men had not gone away. He felt that God was displeased with him, and that his sexuality was to blame for difficulties he and his companions faced in their work. That false conclusion (along with the reality of being gay) led Adam to a dark spot resulting in coming home from his mission to a loving and supportive family.

Adam talks about how his road got darker after difficult church experiences, conversion therapy, and missing the community/safety of Church. That led Adam to suicidal ideation/plans resulting in an inpatient stay at UNI at the University of Utah. This experience became a turning point as the Maughan family met at the hospital and talked about Adam’s future, including their support if he dated men/stepped away from the Church. Their constant love and support gave Adam hope for his future and helped him move out of his mental health crisis.

Adam talks about stepping away from the Church (super painful to leave a community he felt so much connection to) and keeping God in his life. Adam talks about making his way to the University of Tennessee where he is pursuing a PhD in Counseling Psychology. As part of his dissertation, Adam is doing research on Latter-day Saint Allies who live in Utah (see show notes for the link).

I was so moved listening to Adam as he navigated being gay and wanting so badly to belong and serve in our church. I was also moved how Adam found hope and healing in his life—a story that helps others in a dark place. And so much respect for Adam for working towards a PhD because of his goal to bring hope and healing to others—and to reduce divisiveness.

You are a good man, Adam. A warrior. A survivor. This world is a better place with you here. You have a great life ahead of you!

Links:

a. Learn more or sign up to participate in Adam’s Dissertation Study at: https://tiny.utk.edu/LDSAllies

b. FHE Facebook Group link: https://instagram.com/fheforall_cachevalley?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

c. Previous study by Dr. Lesli Allen on LDS Parents of LGBTQ+ Youth: https://www-proquest-com.utk.idm.oclc.org/docview/2596920889?pq-origsite=gscholar&fromopenview=true

d. Adam’s email: [email protected]