Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Eps 508: Raising neurodivergent teens with Dr. Matt Zakreski


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My guest today is Dr. Matt Zakreski, an expert on neurodivergency with an eclectic approach. Dr. Matt tells me about growing up as a twice-exceptional kid himself and what he’s seeing with the teens he works with now.  


I ask Dr. Matt what parents can do about the emotional intensity that comes with raising teens, especially neurodivergent teens. He reminds us that “emotions can’t be wrong,” and you know I loved it when Dr. Matt reminds us to get curious about our teen’s feelings.   


Dr. Matt brings up perfectionism and why we might see more rigidity & anxiety spike during stressful times. We dig into trapdoor perfectionism, how we can invite kids to accept coaching, help, & practice when they’re resistant, and handing over energetic responsibility. 


Takeaways from the show

  • The Performance Cliff 
  • Asynchronous development & high emotional intensity 
  • Raising neurodivergent kids with neurotypical siblings 
  • Neurodivergent behavior versus typical teen behavior 
  • “Emotions can’t be wrong” 
  • You don’t have to understand to show up well 
  • 3 directions of perfectionism  
  • Should = could + shame 
  • Trapdoor perfectionism 
  • Validating our teens gives them permission to show up authentically as themselves 
  • Kids do as well as they can with the tools they have in that moment

  • For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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    Joyful Courage for Parenting TeensBy Casey O'Roarty

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