In this informative episode of "Every Widow Thing," host Lacey is joined by Whitney, Holly, Keira, and special guest Cheryl Martin, a retired grief therapist and recent widow. Together, they explore the complexities of grief, particularly the often-overlooked challenges of the second year after loss. Cheryl shares her personal journey of navigating widowhood and the insights she gained from her professional experience as a grief counselor.

Throughout the conversation, they discuss the importance of empathy, the need for ongoing support, and the reality of living with grief long after the initial loss. Cheryl offers valuable tools for coping, including the significance of allowing oneself to feel a range of emotions, the power of community, and the necessity of seeking help when needed.

Join us as we delve into the realities of grief, the importance of remembering our loved ones, and the ways we can support each other through this difficult journey. Whether you're a widow/widower, a friend, or someone looking to understand grief better, this episode is filled with compassion, wisdom, and hope.

Topics Covered:

• The challenges of the second year of grief

• The importance of empathy and support

• Tools for coping with loss

• The significance of remembering loved ones

• Finding the right therapist and support groups

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments!

• 00:00:00 - Introduction and Guest Introduction: Introduction of Cheryl Martin, a retired grief therapist and widow.
• 00:02:13 - Experiencing Grief as a Therapist vs. a Widow: Cheryl discusses her insights on grief after becoming a widow.
• 00:04:15 - The Challenge of Second Year Grief: Discussion of the difficulties of the second year of grief.
• 00:06:19 - The Marathon of Grief: Grief as an ongoing journey.
• 00:08:39 - The Importance of Remembering Loved Ones: Significance of remembering deceased loved ones.
• 00:10:11 - Navigating Conversations About Loss: How to approach conversations about deceased loved ones.
• 00:12:07 - Therapist Tools for Grief: Using therapy background to navigate grief.
• 00:13:26 - Allowing Grief Emotions to Surface: Importance of expressing all grief emotions.
• 00:15:33 - Self-Care and Grief: The necessity of self-care during grieving.
• 00:18:02 - Finding Support Groups: Benefits of joining support groups.
• 00:21:43 - Choosing the Right Therapist: Advice on finding a suitable therapist.
• 00:25:40 - The Goal of Therapy: Guiding individuals through their grief journey.
• 00:28:38 - Books and Resources for Grief: Recommended resources for grief.
• 00:30:10 - Grounding Techniques in Therapy: Grounding techniques related to EMDR and trauma.
• 00:34:05 - Understanding Dissociation: Explanation of dissociation during trauma.
• 00:39:13 - Reliving Trauma in Therapy: Discussion on reliving traumatic events in therapy.
• 00:41:14 - Navigating Medical Conversations: Challenges of discussing trauma with medical professionals.
• 00:45:02 - The Role of the Therapist in Grief: Therapist's role in holding space for clients' grief.

Okay, grab your comfiest blanket and a big ol' bowl of snacks, because the "Every Widow Thing" crew is spilling all their binge-watching addictions! Make sure to stick around until the end for some interesting new trends for those looking for love!

They discuss everything from the fun and fantasy of "Younger" to the dark humor in "Bad Sisters" and the emotional rollercoaster of the new Bridget Jones movie, "Mad About the Boy."

But it's not all fluff! We're also getting real about how shows like "Shrinking" and "Landman" tackle grief, and how those stories hit home for us.

Plus, you won't believe the wild TikTok trend we found about love at... Home Depot?! Seriously. And why the local grocery store soup station might also be worth a shot!

Whether you need a good laugh or something to make you think, this episode's got your back. So, hit play and join the pajama party!

TIME STAMPS:

00:00:00 - Introduction and Lighthearted Topics
00:00:20 - Current Shows and Recommendations
00:01:30 - Younger: A Fun Fantasy
00:02:39 - Schitt's Creek and Bad Sisters
00:03:27 - Soothing True Crime Shows
00:04:02 - Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy
00:05:22 - Grief Themes in Movies
00:06:38 - Shrinking: A Grieving Perspective
00:08:00 - Handling Widowhood in TV Shows
00:10:42 - Cordially Invited: A Family Dynamic
00:12:02 - Landman: A Complex Narrative
00:15:25 - Virgin River: A Mixed Bag
00:16:10 - Home Depot Dating Trend
00:19:07 - Soup Flirting and Closing Thoughts

Every Widow Thing enjoyed a super staycation at the charming Poppy Round Top Airbnb, just an hour and a half from Austin, Texas. Over Valentine's Day weekend, they dove into Mel Robbins' inspiring new book, The Let Them Theory.

Listeners can expect a heartfelt and relatable discussion as the podcast explores how this book resonates with the widow community, tackling the pressures of people-pleasing and the importance of releasing control.

With personal stories and laughs, they share how embracing the "let them" mindset empowers them to reclaim their lives and pursue dreams without the weight of judgment. This episode offers a fun and uplifting conversation, reminding listeners to focus on their own happiness and let others do their thing!

Timestamps:

00:00:00 - Welcome to Poppy Round Top
Introduction to the staycation and the setting for the podcast episode.

00:00:21 - Mel Robbins' The Let Them Theory
Discussion about Mel Robbins' new book and its relevance to the hosts.

00:01:38 - Insights from the Book
Exploration of key insights from the book and their application in daily life.

00:02:55 - Vulnerability and Control
The impact of vulnerability on relationships and the desire for control, especially in the widow community.

00:03:47 - People-Pleasing Tendencies
Discussion on the tendency to please others and the stress it causes, particularly for women.

00:04:41 - Empowerment Through Letting Go
The empowering message of the book and the challenges of letting go of control.

00:05:56 - Navigating Widowhood
How the book's concepts apply to the experiences of widows and their journeys.

00:07:07 - Judgment from Others
Addressing the judgment widows face from others regarding their choices and timelines.

00:09:21 - Awareness of Control
The importance of recognizing what is within one's control and what is not.

00:10:30 - Expressing Feelings
The significance of expressing feelings rather than suppressing them to avoid resentment.

00:12:24 - Finding Balance
The need for balance in caring for oneself while supporting children through trauma.

00:14:59 - Friendship Dynamics
Reflections on friendships and feelings of exclusion after loss.

00:16:30 - Setting Boundaries
The importance of setting boundaries in relationships and personal well-being.

00:19:06 - The Role of Change
Understanding that change in others can only happen when they are ready.

00:20:38 - Parenting and Control
The struggle of controlling children's lives and the realization of their independence.

00:22:38 - Self-Confidence Through Responsibility
How allowing children to take responsibility fosters their self-confidence.

00:25:24 - The Power of Letting Go
The transformative power of letting go of control and expectations.

00:27:05 - Taking Back Power
The importance of reclaiming personal power after loss and trauma.

00:28:00 - Overcoming Fear of Judgment
The journey of overcoming the fear of what others think and pursuing personal dreams.

00:29:07 - Final Thoughts on Dreams
Encouragement to follow one's dreams and the freedom that comes from letting go of others' opinions.

Holly shares about a disappointing date with a man who drove a red Porsche. And, no, it wasn't Jake Ryan. ;) After the holidays, it appears that there are more men on the apps, but is the quality better? That remains to be seen. Hear the widows' take on their dating app experiences and dating overall. Keira met her fiancé on Hinge, so maybe there is hope. (We had a few technical difficulties with the microphones. We have addressed it going forward. Thanks for your patience.)

00:00:00 - The Struggles of Young Widows
Discussion on societal expectations for young widows and the impact on their lives.

00:00:26 - Sound Issues Acknowledgment
Introduction and acknowledgment of sound issues in the episode.

00:00:40 - Coping with Widowhood
Conversations about coping mechanisms and the ongoing journey of widowhood.

00:01:13 - Dating Apps and Experiences
Discussion on the influx of people on dating apps in January and personal experiences with them.

00:01:39 - First Date Experience
Details of a first date at Jeffrey's and the expectations versus reality.

00:02:14 - Date Dynamics
Exploration of the conversation dynamics during the date and the focus on the male perspective.

00:03:48 - Revelation of Widowhood
The challenge of discussing widowhood during the date and the missed opportunities for connection.

00:05:14 - Post-Date Reflections
Reactions and feelings after the date, including disappointment and frustration.

00:08:07 - Communication After the Date
Discussion on the importance of closing off communication after a date and the common rudeness in dating.

00:09:44 - Dating Etiquette
Conversations about how to handle dating situations and the importance of being upfront.

00:10:56 - The Numbers Game in Dating
Discussion on the idea that dating can be a numbers game and the importance of experience.

00:12:11 - The Challenge of Grieving
Exploration of the complexities of dating while grieving and the emotional toll it takes.

00:14:10 - Past Relationships
Reflections on past relationships and the challenges of finding a meaningful connection.

00:15:46 - Navigating New Relationships
Discussion on the difficulties of dating someone who is also a widower and the complexities involved.

00:16:22 - Experiences with Arrogant Dates
Sharing of experiences with arrogant dates and the impact of their behavior.

00:18:04 - Listener Questions on Dating
Addressing listener questions about dating and the challenges of blending families.

00:20:20 - Setting Boundaries in Dating
Discussion on the importance of setting boundaries when dating someone with children.

00:21:14 - Honesty in Dating Conversations
The significance of being honest about intentions and desires in dating.

00:23:39 - Talking to Kids About Dating
Sharing experiences on how to approach the topic of dating with children.

00:25:02 - Keeping Kids Out of the Loop
Discussion on the decision to keep children unaware of dating until it becomes serious.

00:27:30 - The Complexity of Blending Families
Exploration of the challenges faced when blending families and the impact of ex-partners.

00:30:25 - Reflections on Past Relationships
Reflections on the emotional challenges of past relationships and the importance of healing.

00:32:14 - The Journey of Healing
Discussion on the ongoing journey of healing and the complexities of moving forward.

00:35:17 - Future Dating Outlook
Conversations about future dating plans and the desire for meaningful connections.

00:36:40 - Community and Support
Encouragement to join the community for support and shared experiences among widows and widowers.

The widows come back from a holiday party to share some wisdom on the holidays, dating, and more.

"It's the most wonderful time to be widowed. NOT"

Topics discussed:

-How the holiday funk has changed over the years

-Taking a break from widowhood

-How Whitney gets dating advice from a reality show called Later Daters

-Is it stealing or sharing when you share your grief with those who are grieving?

-Advice from our present selves to our past selves

Join our insider's group on FB to connect with other widows and widowers. https://www.facebook.com/groups/523215036841828

Follow us on social media

https://www.instagram.com/everywidowthing/

https://www.facebook.com/everywidowthing

Whitney and Holly do an impromptu recording to discuss holiday cards, a Later Daters obsession and Whitney's boyfriend.

In part 2, Lacey, Keira, and Whitney continue their conversation about EMDR therapy with Katie Cummings, a renowned trauma therapist with advanced training in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Katie discusses the different techniques used in an EMDR session, such as tapping and buzzers, and explains how triggers and targets are an important part of the process.

Katie gives listeners tips on what to look for when choosing a therapist and how EMDR can specifically help people who have suffered loss.

https://www.katiecummingslpc.com/

Find us on Instagram and Facebook.

Join our Every Widow Thing Insiders Facebook group to connect with other widows and widowers.

What is EMDR? How does it work? Who does it help? On this episode Lacey, Keira and Whitney speak to EMDR specialist Katie Cummings. Katie is a renowned trauma therapist with advanced training in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a powerful approach to healing trauma.

In Part 1, you will observe Katie facilitating an EMDR session with Lacey to address her aviophobia (fear of flying.)

Keira will also discuss her profound experience with Emotion Efficacy Therapy (EET). A variety of therapeutic approaches can be effective in treating trauma, and EMDR is a proven method.

https://www.katiecummingslpc.com/

Find us on Facebook and Instagram.

Join our Every Widow Thing Insiders Facebook group to connect with other widows and widowers.

There's a new term for empty nesting! Holly and Whitney talk about their experience with "Free Birding" it now that their youngest kids have gone to college.

Whitney shares a helicopter parent fail story and both widows discuss how grief plays a part in this new chapter.

In the second half of the episode, the widows share tips on how to find your people. Do you think sitting at the bar in a restaurant is a good or bad idea? Holly just won't let it go.

Check out the new Facebook page Every Widow Thing Insiders and connect with other widows. https://www.facebook.com/groups/523215036841828

During this period of transition, the widows anticipate a less consistent release schedule for episodes. Feel free to connect with us on Instagram and or Facebook.

Survive and thrive!

www.everywidowthing.com

Many times during the recordings, the widows go off topic and it has to be cut from the final edit. Lucky for you, that creates bonus episodes! Listen in as Lacey, Keira, Whitney and Holly dicuss their experiences of cremation vs funeral. There is also a discussion of how kids want mommy to have another person. You may be shocked by what you hear! A perfect example of when trauma meets humor.

www.everywidowthing.com