When a family keeps secrets thinking the truth will never come out, they are sadly mistaken. Secrets can create collateral damage by not only ruining relationships but causing shame in your generations. 

Are you willing to learn how to have truthful but sometimes tough conversations that will always lead to beautiful relationships? I recently had breakfast with a friend where we were sharing some tough things and we got on the subject of how our family’s generation always kept secrets. Things looked great on the outside, but inside the home was so filled with deception and lies! 

I hear it all the time and I lived it with my own family. My mom would continuously lie about everything and we would have to sift through the words and actions to figure out what was true. 

One of the ways the enemy comes after us is through our families, and if those families are very damaged, he can keep that separation going through secrets. 

Let me tell you something; lies will ALWAYS eventually come out. 

It may take 5, 10, or 50 years, but the truth will come out.

It has the power to destroy a lot of people the longer the secret is kept. Even if you think you are helping someone, by denying the full truth, it will create a separation in trust. 

The collateral damage from my mom telling lies hit all of us kids hard. I know for me, there was a shame attached that didn’t belong to me, for my siblings I know it probably felt the same way. We took on shame and hurt that should never have been our own. 

As I sat with my friend, we agreed that secrets never help save anyone. The only thing we can do is to do it differently with our own families. It’s up to us in this generation to build up strong households to contain truthful, loving families. 

Even when the truth is hard, it can always be done with love and forgiveness. 

Secrets kill, truth lives!

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*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.