Do you have “Spidey Sense” when it comes to emotions? 

Were you the one who always made sure everyone, but especially your mom, was okay? Could you feel the tone of the room as soon as you walked through it? 

You might be doing this now in your own family.

Maybe it’s time to take care of you and stop worrying about everyone else to the point of your own decline in health, mentally and physically. Let’s talk about using this skill to your advantage, not your detriment.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What do you do when your mother wants you to take care of her during an illness or while recovering from surgery? 

Do you go? 

Do you walk away from her demand to help? 

The answer is so layered, but one thing is sure: don’t do it out of guilt! Let’s figure out a plan so you don’t regret your choice, no matter what that choice is.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes!

How do you define the black sheep in the family?

Has this label been placed on you because you don’t abide by the dysfunction in your family?

There is a difference between being the troublemaker or the truth-teller. If you are just trying to survive in a highly abusive family situation, you learn to fight and stand on your own. 

Do you always make the right decisions? Not always, but who does when they are young? When I think about how we get labeled as troubled or a hard child, I think we should look deeper into the family dynamics instead of automatically blaming the child.

So what can we do if we are the one that has always been labeled in this way?

As I’ve said before, journal out any thoughts or struggles you still may have regarding this issue. You might be surprised at how much stuff comes up. Remember, you are not what other people tell you; you are who God has said you are. 

He has a purpose and a plan for you, even if you have to walk through rough waters to get there.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes!



What was it like growing up in your home? 

In my home, I felt like I was constantly dealing with a teenager or even a child. While at the time I just thought this was ‘normal’ I later understood that it wasn’t. When you grow up with a parent who is emotionally immature and can’t be the adult in the family relationship it can feel like their needs are paramount to yours. They are physically there, but not mentally. There was no room for me to feel anything, and that is why I am so passionate about finding my voice even to this day. 

Our feelings count! 

We keep hoping it will get better. We make attachments where there shouldn’t be any. With her. With others. I figured out a lot of my need for recognition comes from this. However, just because you grew up this way, doesn’t mean you need to parent in the same way. Break off these generational patterns.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes!



This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!).

Let’s talk about the do’s and don’ts of letting our children be a part of our mothers’ lives and what do you do when your toxic mom wants to be a part of your children’s lives?

Can we let them have a relationship with their grandchildren even though we have a dysfunctional one? If there is a special relationship that your mom has with her grandchildren, you can set a boundary around it. But if she isn’t respectful of your rules or intentions then I think you need to set some limits.

Listen to your kids! If they are not comfortable being around her, respect that too. Your children will find their voice if they feel safe with you and know how to speak up. Don’t use your kids as pawns in this family game. Listen and watch. 

We are not trying to be cold mamas that just cut off our moms for no reason. There is no easy answer to each individual situation, and I won’t be someone who will say “Do it this way or else!” 

What I know about God is that He will take things we don’t understand and do what he plans all along. We can’t be in control of every little thing, but we can have hope that maybe our children’s relationships can be beautiful. If not, then we can be the safety for them that they need to stay away from someone who could hurt them. 

The choice is ours, with prayer, common sense, and thought. I’m praying you find peace with all of this!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes!

Over the past few years, I’ve been studying the different types of toxic moms. Imagine my surprise when I started studying about toxic parenting and realized my mom was emotionally immature AND narcissistic! 

I never knew what to expect from my mom from one day to the next. It was exhausting trying to figure it all out. It made so much sense, but also it hurt to see that her characteristics were so manipulative. 

As I look through each of these problems, I have a story to match each of them. I bet you do too. I pray you find a way to keep working through this and start making change worthy behaviors where you don’t get bogged down with your mom’s immature, toxic behavior. 

Know that immature parents have been raised by immature parents. This has to stop with you! You must be the chainbreaker in your family! God has given you this assignment, do it well and show the family you raise that those kinds of behaviors will NOT happen in your home.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do you get scared or anxious from ordinary things in your life? 

Can it be tied to past traumatic events? Sometimes the things we react to now are a direct result of the trauma we have gone through as children. 

We tend to fall into patterns to keep ourselves safe, or so we think. It can keep us prisoners in our own bodies. 

Learn how to recognize some reactions and start the process of digging through to get to a healthier place.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What are the qualities or differences in a healthy Mom versus a toxic Mom? 

Big differences in my opinion. Is there such a thing as a perfect mom? I haven’t met one yet, but I know we can always do better than what we have grown up in if we have, in fact, grown up in toxicity. 

Let’s talk about what each of these kinds of moms looks like, and see if there is any improvement that needs to be made on our part to be the kind of mother we dream of. 

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Let’s bring on my daughter on today’s episode and talk about the good, bad and better of moms! 

Bringing on my daughter can help us understand as moms how we can learn from daughters and the next generation. 

Listening to them helps us be the best moms we can be.

Let us know how you like this episode! Please leave a review or send us a message over on Instagram. We would love to connect with you.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

In this powerful and emotional episode, we explore a topic that's often overlooked in conversations around childhood trauma — what happens when men are the ones who were never mothered? What does it look like when a boy grows into a man still carrying the ache of a mother’s absence, and how does that wound ripple through his career, his relationships, and his future family?

Inspired by the shocking real-life story told in the documentary Con Mom, host Phylis dives into the haunting truth about what happens when a man is so desperate for a mother’s love that he overlooks red flags, ignores his instincts, and ends up losing everything — his money, his relationship, and his newborn son.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• The emotional and psychological impact of being an "UnMothered" man

• Why unresolved childhood wounds can distort adult decisions

• The hidden ways men cope with abandonment and emotional neglect

• How silence around male trauma leads to generational dysfunction

• The importance of healing, open communication, and emotional honesty

If you’re a man carrying the scars of being UnMothered, this episode is for you. It’s time to stop pushing through the pain in silence. Get support, speak your truth, and take the first step toward healing — for yourself and for the next generation.

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.