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This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!).

Let’s talk about the do’s and don’ts of letting our children be a part of our mothers’ lives and what do you do when your toxic mom wants to be a part of your children’s lives?

Can we let them have a relationship with their grandchildren even though we have a dysfunctional one? If there is a special relationship that your mom has with her grandchildren, you can set a boundary around it. But if she isn’t respectful of your rules or intentions then I think you need to set some limits.

Listen to your kids! If they are not comfortable being around her, respect that too. Your children will find their voice if they feel safe with you and know how to speak up. Don’t use your kids as pawns in this family game. Listen and watch. 

We are not trying to be cold mamas that just cut off our moms for no reason. There is no easy answer to each individual situation, and I won’t be someone who will say “Do it this way or else!” 

What I know about God is that He will take things we don’t understand and do what he plans all along. We can’t be in control of every little thing, but we can have hope that maybe our children’s relationships can be beautiful. If not, then we can be the safety for them that they need to stay away from someone who could hurt them. 

The choice is ours, with prayer, common sense, and thought. I’m praying you find peace with all of this!

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*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.