The eyes are the windows to the souls and the eyebags are the windows to you looking like sh*t, so Wells joins us today with some ice cold under eye patchies to make sure he looks b-e-a-utiful! Brandi then hops on with her coffee and straw, and Wells would like to know if the turtles really are dying from the straws ... Also, are we shooting down UFOs? Or, what’s going on with that?? Brandi then harasses Wells for potentially not having sex on Valentine’s Day, but he tells her she doesn’t know what it’s like to be old and married and have a house with nice furniture that you don’t want to ruin with sex. Since it was just President’s Day, we have a little (little, promise) history lesson before your hosts move on to fave things, including Nick Lachey’s career resurgence with some diamond status television content. Lastly, your hosts find a Gen-Z correspondent and Wells learns that John B is 30 and dating Kelsea Ballerini. Enjoy this episode ya’ll; we ate and left no crumbs.

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