There are many obstacles to creating and assimilating new habits that help us become better people. I mean, of course, otherwise we would all be walking around as the best possible version of ourselves and wouldn’t that be grand? Here's how to deal with one of the biggest obstacles: backsliding.

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Today I’m sharing something that can help you stay on track with your efforts to start a new habit. Best of all, this tip takes about five seconds to do!! It harnesses the universal truth that what you focus on grows, and helps you pay attention to your success more than your lapses. 

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Let’s say you’re trying to build a habit of spending 10 minutes a night putting things away and restoring some amount of order to your home. It’s easy to think of that as just a chore, or a box to tick, which is not all that motivating. It’s like eating your lima beans or something else that you hate that you are trying teach yourself to endure. 

But when you raise your awareness of how those 10 minutes benefit you, your energy shifts, and when you change your energy, you change your results. 

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Trying to become better is not a reason for feeling bad about yourself. You will mess up. You will backslide. You will completely forget. And it is OK. All you need to do is simply start again.

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Today’s big idea is that because habits are so unconscious and so well-worn, it can take a really big dose of motivation to get you to take action and then to sustain that action. The good news is that I’m going to share a great motivator with you. The bad news is that it is not all that pleasant.

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Habits are like icebergs--you can perceive just the tip of them, when actually most of them exist underneath the surface of your awareness. You can’t just throw some dirt and some grass seed on the tip of an iceberg and turn it into a meadow--it’s still gonna be a mountain of ice that runs deep. You need to see what's under the surface to truly change it.

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Knowing what’s on your “don’t list” will help shore up your boundaries, and that helps you walk a little taller and keeps any bad behavior from taking away from your well-being.

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Drawing boundaries might feel limiting, but corralling your energy is, paradoxically, SUPER freeing. Then you don’t have to expend time or energy wrapped up in drama that isn’t yours, or deciding when you should get involved, or figuring out how to scale back. 

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[I’m replaying some of my best stuff while I take the summer off to decompress. This week’s episodes on boundaries are something we all need reminders of because unfortunately, boundaries are not ‘set it and forget it’!]

There are two types of boundaries, and we tend to only think about one of them, which means you could be neglecting an important way of keeping yourself in a good place. Which one are you better at? And which type would serve you best at this moment? 

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Here it is–my third-least listened to episode ever.

It’s about how to stay open to constructive feedback, and why you want to. I mean, this is a true strength–but perhaps not something that’s typically top of mind for most of us (hence, it’s position way down at the bottom of the downloads). 

This episode sponsored by: 

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