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Finding the Why:
The Courage to Understand Betrayal
When betrayal strikes, one of the first—and most painful—questions we ask is: Why?
In this weeks episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the emotional terrain beneath the question “Why?”—from both sides of betrayal. Whether you're the partner who was betrayed or the one who acted out, this conversation invites you to pause, look inward, and begin to understand the deeper patterns, pain, and unmet needs that often lie beneath surface behaviors.
This episode is about more than answers. It’s about reclaiming clarity, self-awareness, and hope. It’s about finding the courage to ask honest questions—and the grace to explore them without judgment.
The “Why” Is Often Complex:
Understanding ≠ Justifying:
Betrayed Partners Need to Know Why:
Anger as a Messenger:
The Power of Insight:
The “Five Whys” Technique:
The Body Remembers:
Self-Compassion Matters:
Journaling Prompts for Insight:
“What was I feeling right before I acted out or shut down?”
“What does this experience say about me—and is that really true?”
“What need was I trying to meet?”
The 5 Whys Exercise (inspired by Toyota problem-solving method)
Morning Pages – from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Books Referenced:
The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Willpower by Dr. Roy Baumeister
Mindsight by Dr. Daniel Siegel
Understanding your why—whether you’re the one healing from betrayal or the one seeking to make things right—is an act of courage. It’s not about blame. It’s about seeing clearly, feeling deeply, and choosing to heal with intention.
For more information about Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn’s work please visit HumanIntimacy.com
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Finding the Why:
The Courage to Understand Betrayal
When betrayal strikes, one of the first—and most painful—questions we ask is: Why?
In this weeks episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the emotional terrain beneath the question “Why?”—from both sides of betrayal. Whether you're the partner who was betrayed or the one who acted out, this conversation invites you to pause, look inward, and begin to understand the deeper patterns, pain, and unmet needs that often lie beneath surface behaviors.
This episode is about more than answers. It’s about reclaiming clarity, self-awareness, and hope. It’s about finding the courage to ask honest questions—and the grace to explore them without judgment.
The “Why” Is Often Complex:
Understanding ≠ Justifying:
Betrayed Partners Need to Know Why:
Anger as a Messenger:
The Power of Insight:
The “Five Whys” Technique:
The Body Remembers:
Self-Compassion Matters:
Journaling Prompts for Insight:
“What was I feeling right before I acted out or shut down?”
“What does this experience say about me—and is that really true?”
“What need was I trying to meet?”
The 5 Whys Exercise (inspired by Toyota problem-solving method)
Morning Pages – from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Books Referenced:
The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Willpower by Dr. Roy Baumeister
Mindsight by Dr. Daniel Siegel
Understanding your why—whether you’re the one healing from betrayal or the one seeking to make things right—is an act of courage. It’s not about blame. It’s about seeing clearly, feeling deeply, and choosing to heal with intention.
For more information about Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn’s work please visit HumanIntimacy.com
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