Your kiddo just said something racist. 

Trust me, as a parent myself, I can feel your pain, hear your groans of embarrassment and sense your anxiety. 

But what do you do now?

If you are here listening to this podcast and participating in this community, I know you are working toward creating an anti-racist and inclusive world for your kids. But guess what? Despite our very best efforts, sometimes kids — and, let’s be honest, even we as adults — make prejudiced comments. 

Yes, these comments need to be addressed. We can’t just sweep them under the rug and pretend they didn’t happen, or else growth and change in our communities will never happen. Although making mistakes ourselves or hearing our little ones make mistakes may feel like the end of the world, it doesn’t have to be if we use these moments as teaching opportunities.

The First Name Basis Podcast is here to help. In this episode, you will learn:

• Why it is important to teach our children about who they are and where they come from and that differences are normal.
• The 5 B’s of how to respond to kids when they say something racist (Be proactive, be calm, be curious, be clear, be reflective).
• How to apply the 5 B’s using a specific example.
• How to keep the conversations going so you can continue to learn together as a family.

Race Talk Roadmap

Our Race Talk Roadmap is the tool you need to begin conversations about race and racism with your children! We have a list of three tips for parents of older children and a list of three tips for parents of younger children. Visit firstnamebasis.org/racetalk to get the Race Talk Roadmap sent straight to your inbox.

Ally Elementary 

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching “Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families." 

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action.

Click here to the waitlist!

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode 

First Name Basis Podcast: Season 1, Episode 4: “Using Your Culture to Build Your Child’s Sense of Self”

“Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves,” by Louise Derman-Sparks and Julie Olsen Edwards

Britt Hawthorne’s website

Tiffany Jewell’s website

“Start Here, Start Now” by Liz Kleinrock 

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN

Debunking the myth that Black Lives Matter is trying to destroy families is such an important topic, we’re spending our second week in a row talking about it.

If you haven’t had a chance to listen to last week’s episode — “Black Lives Matter And the Family Part 1: Enslavement” — I would encourage you to check out that one first. 

In Part 1, we talk about what Black Lives Matter has actually said about the family, how it's been misinterpreted and how enslavement has affected the history of Black families in our country. In essence, it’s an explanation of the historical context of what we’re seeing in the Black family, whereas Part 2 focuses on a system that is happening in the present day — a system that is negatively affecting the Black family as we speak.

That system is the over-policing of Black and brown communities and mass incarceration.

In this episode — “Black Lives Matter and the Family Part 2: Over-Policing and Mass Incarceration” — we look at:

• Why we see an overrepresentation of Black and brown people in jail and in prison.
• How sentencing disparities further harm Black families
• How the law has criminalized the actions of Black people in a way that it has not done for people who hold white privilege.
• How myths about Black fathers are just that — myths.

My hope is that by the end of these two episodes you can see what I see: that Black Lives Matter loves families so much, that they want lots of different people from lots of different types of families to have the same access to opportunity.

Race Talk Roadmap

Our Race Talk Roadmap is the tool you need to begin conversations about race and racism with your children! We have a list of three tips for parents of older children and a list of three tips for parents of younger children. Visit firstnamebasis.org/racetalk to get the Race Talk Roadmap sent straight to your inbox.

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode 

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 5: “A Conversation With My Dad About Black History Month"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 29: “Critical Race Theory In Schools”

“Demilitarize Our Neighborhoods,” Black Lives Matter

“Federal Militarization of Law Enforcement Must End,” Charlotte Lawrence and Cyrus J. O’Brien, ACLU

“Maybe America Is Racist,” Michael Harriot, The Root

“Militarization and police violence: The case of the 1033 program,” Research & Politics

“The Black Family In The Age of Mass Incarceration” by Ta-Nehisi Coates, The Atlantic

“Debunking the most pervasive myth about black fatherhood” by German Lopez, Vox

“What Is the 'Success Sequence' and Why Do So Many Conservatives Like It?” by Brian Alexander, The Atlantic

“James Baldwin and Paul Weiss Debate Discrimination In America,” The Dick Cavett Show

“The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake” by David Brooks, The Atlantic 

“Ask Politifact: Does Black Lives Matter Aim To Destroy The Nuclear Family?” by Tom Kertscher and Amy Sherman

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN 

The summer of 2020 was difficult and emotionally taxing for So. Many. Reasons. But one of the hardest things for me was hearing white parents say that they could not support Black Lives Matter because they believed that Black Lives Matter wanted to destroy families, which simply is not true.

Where does this myth come from? Why would anyone think Black Lives Matter doesn’t support families?

It pretty much all stems from one quote on the organization’s website that was misinterpreted and misunderstood.

I’ve heard from a lot of you saying that you need help understanding this topic. There is so much to dissect that I decided to break it down into two episodes: “Black Lives Matter and the Family Pt. 1: Enslavement” and “Black Lives Matter and the Family Pt. 2: Over-Policing and Mass Incarceration.”

In Part 1, you will learn:

• What Black Lives Matter actually said and how it’s been misinterpreted.
• More about the history of Black families in our country.
• How enslavement affected Black families.

Season 4 Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN 

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode 

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 9: “Racism 101”

“How Slavery Affected African American Families” by Heather Andrea Williams from UNC Chapel Hill 

“The Enslaved Family,” National Humanities Center 

“The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake” by David Brooks in The Atlantic

Patreon Learning Community 

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

Connect With Us 

Join us on Instagram 

Microaggression may have “micro” in its name, but that doesn’t mean these assaults are small. Two women I admire so much for their anti-racism work explain it like this:

“There’s nothing micro about micro aggressions” — Britt Hawthorne, anti-racist educator 

“Microaggression, macro effect.” — Alex Scott, creator of Ditto Kids Magazine 

According to a paper by researchers at the Teachers College at Columbia University and published in American Psychologist, “Racial microaggressions are brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults toward people of color. Perpetrators of microaggressions are often unaware that they engage in such communications when they interact with racial/ethnic minorities.”

See? “There’s nothing micro about microaggressions” because “microaggression, macro effect.” 

In this episode of the First Name Basis podcast you will learn:

• The three different types of microaggressions — microassault, microinsult, microinvalidation.
• Specific examples of what these racial assaults look like.
• What affect microaggressions have.
• What you can do — whether you are a white person or a BIPOC — to respond to microaggressions. 

Patreon Learning Community 

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

Connect With Us 

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram 

FNB Bite-sized Black History Program

Bite-sized Black History is a program that empowers you to teach the little ones you love about 12 brilliant Black Americans that have been largely overlooked by our history books.

These 12 bite-sized podcast episodes, coloring pages, and reflection questions are your key to a meaningful Black History celebration in your home or classroom!

Purchase Bite-sized Black History 

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode 

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 22: “The Danger of Gaslighting”

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 16: “How to Avoid Cultural Appropriation”

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 29: “Critical Race Theory In Schools”

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 22: “Cancel Culture Part 1: Calling Out, Calling In, and Tone Policing”

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 9: “Racism 101”

“Racial Microaggressions In Everyday Life,” by researchers at the Teachers College at Columbia University, published in American Psychologist

“Conflicted: How Black Women Negotiate Their Responses to Racial Microaggressions At A Historically White Institution,” by Dr. Angel Jones

“Daily Positive Affirmations For When Black Lives Forget That They Matter”

“How Slavery Made Its Way West," by Tiya Miles, 1619 Project Magazine

Embracing Equity

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN 

It’s basically impossible to open your news app without seeing a headline about Critical Race Theory, but what is it? Could you explain it to a friend if they asked you for guidance? Could you give examples of how the laws in our country affect different groups of people based on the color of their skin? This episode will give you the tools and confidence you need to have these crucial conversations with the people you love. 

In this episode you will learn:

• the basics of Critical Race Theory
• how “neutral” laws have a racial impact 
• how to respond when someone is against CRT 
• common myths about CRT 
• how you can support teachers &  get involved in your local school district 

I’ve heard from hundreds of you that the people in your life are skeptical about what it might look like to teach children to use their critical thinking skills to examine race. Let’s work together to move closer to our values of inclusion, equity, and justice. 

Season 3 Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN 

Patreon Learning Community 

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

Connect With Us 

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram 

FNB Bite-sized Black History Program

Bite-sized Black History is a program that empowers you to teach the little ones you love about 12 brilliant Black Americans that have been largely overlooked by our history books.

These 12 bite-sized podcast episodes, coloring pages, and reflection questions are your key to a meaningful Black History celebration in your home or classroom!

Purchase Bite-sized Black History 

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode 

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 9: “Racism 101”

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2 Episode 12: “How To Talk To Your Children About Racism”

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3 Episode 19: “How You Can Help Stop Voter Suppression”

Critical Race Theory: An Introduction by Richard Delgado

Sylvia Duckworth worked with Dr. Angel Jones & Dr. Kate Slater to put together resources that explain CRT

Undistracted Brittany Packnett Cunningham’s Podcast, Kimberlé Crenshaw On The Truth About Critical Race Theory

Federal Probe of American Indian Boarding Schools Reflects Dark Chapter in US History 

Maybe America Is Racist by Michael Harriot 

The Stanford Open Policing Project 

Rates of Drug Use & Sales By Race 

This Book is Anti-racist by Tiffany Jewell

Langston Hughes “Let America Be America Again”

We Need To Teach The Truth About Systemic Racism, Say Educators 

Turning Equity Lens On Schools Exposes White Unhappiness by Maureen Downey 

Right-wing Legislators Are Trying to Stop Us From Teaching For Racial Justice. We Refuse. By Rethinking Schools

Zinn Education Project #teachtruth Campaign

Zinn Education Project: Teachers Defy GOP Bills To Ban History Lessons

In this episode I walk you through the anti-bias approach that I took when my daughter came up against something in one of her library books that didn’t align with our family values. Listen in for a concrete example of what it looks like to talk to your children about bias. 

Patreon Learning Community 

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

Connect With Us 

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram 

FNB Bite-sized Black History Program

Bite-sized Black History is a program that empowers you to teach the little ones you love about 12 brilliant Black Americans that have been largely overlooked by our history books.

These 12 bite-sized podcast episodes, coloring pages, and reflection questions are your key to a meaningful Black History celebration in your home or classroom!

Purchase Bite-sized Black History 

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN 

We want our children to embrace anti-racist education both at school and at home, but what does that actually look like? In this episode I interview Alexandria Scott, Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Ditto Kids Magazine, an anti-racist magazine for kiddos. Alex and I chat about everyday anti-racism and how us parents can incorporate anti-racism into our interactions with our children. We also spend some time unpacking the partnership between parents and teachers. We give concrete action steps for approaching your child’s teacher about creating a school environment that strives to be anti-racist and inclusive. We are both anti-racist educators and mamas who want you to have the tools you need to make change in your community. 

Shop Ditto Kids Anti-racist Magazine

Ditto Kids Mini-units for the classroom

Explore Ditto Kids on Instagram

Season 3 Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN 

FNB Bite-sized Black History Program

Bite-sized Black History is a program that empowers you to teach the little ones you love about 12 brilliant Black Americans that have been largely overlooked by our history books.

These 12 bite-sized podcast episodes, coloring pages, and reflection questions are your key to a meaningful Black History celebration in your home or classroom!

Purchase Bite-sized Black History 

Patreon Learning Community 

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

Connect With Us 

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram 

Juneteenth is the oldest celebration of the abolition of slavery here in the United States. Every year on June 19th families come together to celebrate the resilience of our ancestors who survived and persevered during one of the darkest times of our nation’s history. We take time to reflect on where we are as a family, a community, and a nation and how we can work together to better live out our country’s values of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Listen in to hear the history of Juneteenth and how your family can take part in this powerful celebration. 

Make sure to take a photo and use the hashtag #fnbjuneteenth so that we can see how your family is celebrating this powerful holiday!

Bite-sized Black History Summer Sale 

Juneteenth Printable Cards & Lemonade Recipe

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram 

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN 

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 1, Episode 3: “Talking To Your Children About Slavery”

Juneteenth History

Book: Free At Last! Stories and Songs of Emancipation by Doreen Rappaport* 

Cookbook: Jubilee: Recipes from Two Centuries of African American Cooking by Toni Tipton-Martin*

Last Seen: Finding Family After Slavery (the website where you can transcribe the newspaper ads of formerly enslaved people looking for their family members)

NYT Article: Hot Links & Red Drinks: The Rich Food Tradition of Juneteenth

1619 Podcast 

President Lincoln Quotes 

Black Codes

White Savior Complex

*Amazon Affiliate Link

54 years ago today Richard and Mildred Loving won their landmark Civil Rights case against the state of Virginia. Because of the Lovings states were no longer permitted to create racist laws that would prevent couples from marrying one another because of the color of their skin. Unfortunately, this right was not extended to ALL couples until 2015 when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of LGBTQ+ couples and their right to marry. Every year on June 12th interracial couples across the US honor the sacrifice of Richard and Mildred and celebrate Loving Day. This year we asked YOU to answer one important question: What does Loving Day mean to you? In this episode you will hear interracial couples from all across the country share the importance of Loving Day and what it means to them and their families. If you’re anything like me you’ll need a few tissues for this one. Happy Loving Day!

Free Loving Coloring Page 

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram 

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams,” “Dive Down” by VYEN, and “Blue Dream” by Cheel 

Richard and Mildred Loving never expected to be Civil Rights icons, they simply wanted to love one another and grow their beautiful family. Listen in to hear how the Lovings took their interracial love story to the Supreme Court and abolished racist marriage laws across the country. Be sure to download the free Loving coloring page that goes along with the episode at firstnamebasis.org/lovingdaycoloring.

Free Loving Coloring Page

Join the First Name Basis Patreon Community Make sure to join our Patreon Community to take part in our monthly Q&A sessions and download the detailed notes from this episode!

First Name Basis Website

Join us on Instagram 

Song Credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN