First Name Basis Podcast

The holiday season can be a beautiful time of celebration, but if we're being honest, it can also be extremely stressful — especially when it comes to spending time with family members you disagree with.

I get asked all the time questions like "What should I do about family members who say things that uphold white supremacy?" or "What should I do when family members say racist things?"

My dear friend Jalynne Geddes gave me some advice about how to approach these situations that entirely changed my perspective, and I want to share that advice with you, too: If you can't change their heart, your presence might change their behavior.

In this episode, I unpack that advice as well as discuss:

• What you can do in these situations if you are BIPOC.
• What you should do if you hold white privilege or have close proximity to white privilege.
• Suggestions for keeping yourself safe and maintaining boundaries.

I hope this holiday season can be a joyful time for you and your family, as well as one where you can feel safe. Thanks for being part of the First Name Basis fam. We're sending you our love.

Want to help your kids center Indigenous Peoples this Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is coming up, and it's our chance to teach our kids the true history of Thanksgiving. Visit firstnamebasis.org/thanksgivingresources and drop your email to get some ideas of how to center Indigenous Peoples sent straight to your inbox.

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 14: "What Is Privilege And What Do I Do With It?"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 4, Episode 8: "Can We Talk About White Privilege?"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 9: "Racism 101"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 22: "Cancel Culture Pt. 1: Calling Out, Calling In, & Tone Policing"

I made my "Untold Story of Thanksgiving" episode to help me — and hopefully you — understand the true, accurate history. As I think about the episode, I think it does a good job at correcting the history, but it still centers on the colonizers.

Because of that, I've been thinking a lot about how I can better make Indigenous Peoples the center of our conversations and learning around Thanksgiving, and I knew just the right person to turn to to help me.

On this week's episode, my dear friend Jalynne Geddes joins me to help unpack what we can do to center Indigenous Peoples. Jalynne is Nehiyaw from the Beardy's and Okemasis Cree Nation and is the creator behind the Nehiyanahk Creations on Instagram, where she shares her work as an activist both through words and through her beautiful beadwork.

In this episode, you'll learn more about how our Indigenous brothers and sisters feel about Thanksgiving, how to center them during this time and how we can teach our kids about this as well.

I hope by the end of this you have a clear understanding of what you can do in your family to decanter colonizers and instead give your focus to Indigenous Peoples this Thanksgiving.

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 3: "The Untold Story of Thanksgiving"

Jalynne Geddes' Instagram @nehiyanahk_creations

Mark Ruffalo's land acknowledgement at the Emmy's

Want to teach help your kids center Indigenous Peoples this Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is coming up, and it's our chance to teach our kids the true history of Thanksgiving. Drop your email here to get some ideas of how to center Indigenous Peoples sent straight to your inbox.

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

Every mother experiences motherhood differently — no two journeys are the same. And there are some things that Black mothers experience that mothers who hold white privilege don't fully understand.

We need to take the time to listen to the Black moms in our community to learn how we can use our power to change the systems that are oppressing them and their children.

I invited my friend Sheryl Ellsworth onto the podcast this week to share her experience as a Black mom raising two ADORABLE Black children. In this conversation, Sheryl shares three things she wishes white mothers knew about what it's like to be a Black mom to Black children:

1. Black mothers are raising children with rules from an unwritten rule book.
2. There's a constant battle for Black mothers between preparing their kids for the racist experiences they will encounter while also preserving their joy.
3. White moms need to invest in and focus on anti-racist education.

Beyond Sheryl's first-hand knowledge as a Black mother, she also has crucial insight gained as a former educator who now works as a project manager for a pipeline that is trying to increase BIPOC representation in her state (Utah) and is seeking to make it an inclusive place for BIPOC families to live, work and raise their kiddos.

I hope this episode gives you a chance to reflect on the privileges you hold and how you can use your privilege to dismantle racist systems.

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

In many ways, Emi Kim is what you might consider a typical 9-year-old. When she grows up, she wants to be a scientist or president of the United States, but for now, she loves to swim and sketch — and fight racism.

And fight racism she has.

When Emi noticed that her school library was lacking diverse books, she decided to do something about it. She led her whole family in hosting a lemonade stand to raise money to buy books with diverse characters for her school library, and her first lemonade stand raised more than $750!

"I'm changing the world one lemonade stand at a time," Emi said.

Emi's commitment to anti-racism is nothing short of inspiring. To hear of someone so young making such a big difference gives me the chills, but even more than that, it gives me hope.

Our kiddos are going to change the world, and if we do our part now to raise them to be anti-racist and inclusive, they are going to change the world into a much better place.

Listen to the episode to hear all of Emi's story. I can guarantee you'll leave fired up and ready to follow Emi's example to make a positive change.

Ally Elementary

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching "Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families."

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action. Click here to invest in Ally Elementary for your family!

Free Class! Ally ABCs: 3 Simple Ways to Embed Anti-Racism Into Your Family Culture

If you're ready to reignite your fire for anti-racism or deepen your commitment to the movement this class is for you, and Tuesday, Nov. 2, is your last chance to catch it! During this free online class we will work together to create a plan that you can use to bring your kiddos along on this anti-racist journey. Click here to choose a time that fits best with your schedule and sign up today!

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

ALLY ELEMENTARY IS HEEEEERE! Pop all of the confetti cannons in the world because I am so dang excited to share this transformational program with you and your family! In this episode you'll hear the real reason I created Ally Elementary for all of us and a SNEAK PEAK of one of the lessons! Press play and celebrate with me!

Ally Elementary

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching "Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families."

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action. Click here to invest in Ally Elementary for your family!

Free Class! Ally ABCs: 3 Simple Ways to Embed Anti-Racism Into Your Family Culture

If you're ready to reignite your fire for anti-racism or deepen your commitment to the movement this class is for you! During this free online class we will work together to create a plan that you can use to bring your kiddos along on this anti-racist journey. Click here to choose a time that fits best with your schedule and sign up today!

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

Have you ever heard a white person claim that they've experienced "reverse racism"? I sure have! Let's break this down together because I've heard from many of you that you're not sure how to respond when someone pulls the reverse racism card.

In this episode you'll learn:

• The difference between bias, prejudice, and discrimination
• How to analyze a situation to determine whether or not it is racism
• How to respond when someone says that racism goes both ways

Free Class! Ally ABCs: 3 Simple Ways to Embed Anti-Racism Into Your Family Culture

If you're ready to reignite your fire for anti-racism or deepen your commitment to the movement this class is for you! During this free online class we will work together to create a plan that you can use to bring your kiddos along on this anti-racist journey. Click here to choose a time that fits best with your schedule and sign up today!

Ally Elementary

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching "Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families."

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action.

Click here to the waitlist!

Articles, Studies, & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3 Episode 9: "Racism 101"

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2 Episode 7: "The Untold Story of Rosa Parks"

Stanford, Montgomery Bus Boycott

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

But really, can we? I know y'all are seeing it too. You've shared with me that once you know what to look for you've started to see it all over the place. Okay so now you know it's there but what do you do about it?

In this episode we break down three super cringey examples of white privilege that I've seen in the last week. Tune in to hear how those of you who hold white privilege can respond in these racist situations.

Race Talk Roadmap

Our Race Talk Roadmap is the tool you need to begin conversations about race and racism with your children! We have a list of three tips for parents of older children and a list of three tips for parents of younger children. Visit firstnamebasis.org/racetalk to get the Race Talk Roadmap sent straight to your inbox.

Ally Elementary

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching "Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families."

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action.

Click here to the waitlist!

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 14: "What Is Privilege And What Do I Do With It?" — This episode will help give you the background information you need to understand privilege. I suggest listening to this episode before you dive into our conversation about white privilege.

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 21: "How To Teach Media Literacy To Our Children with Tori Nelson of Kid Nuz"

Ad Fontes Media: Interactive Media Bias Chart

James Johnson is an award winning Tlingit artist and wood carver, check out his work here!

"Don't Touch My Hair" children's book by Sharee Miller

First Name Basis Bookshop

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

We need to stop celebrating Columbus Day — immediately.

The story that we learned about Christopher Columbus could not be further from the truth. He was a colonizer, enslaver, and sex trafficker who committed genocide against Indigenous Peoples. Don't believe me? Listen in and decide for yourself.

By celebrating Columbus Day, our country has erased the history of Native Americans, and now is the time to give it back by celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day.

In this episode, you'll learn about:

• Common myths about Christopher Columbus
• The 3 reasons why Columbus' crusade was different from others who had traveled to the Americas
• What happened once Columbus arrived
• The origins of Columbus Day in the United States
• Ideas about what we should do in response to this violent history

Race Talk Roadmap

Our Race Talk Roadmap is the tool you need to begin conversations about race and racism with your children! We have a list of three tips for parents of older children and a list of three tips for parents of younger children. Visit firstnamebasis.org/racetalk to get the Race Talk Roadmap sent straight to your inbox.

Ally Elementary

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching "Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families."

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action.

Click here to the waitlist!

Articles, Studies, & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

Lies My Teacher Told Me by James Loewen (affiliate link)

Rethinking Columbus

How Columbus Sailed into U.S. History, Thanks to Italians

Who Were the Olmec?

Whose History Matters? Students Can Name Columbus, But Most Have Never Heard of the Taino People

Taino: Indigenous Carribeans

Christopher Columbus and the Doctrine of Discovery

Resource Guide: Abolish Columbus Day: Solidarity with Indigenous Peoples

UN Definition of Genocide

The History of Columbus Day

Books are such a powerful teaching tool because they give us glimpses into experiences beyond our own — which is something children's book author Andrea Wang is an expert at.

Andrea's books are beautiful for many reasons — they'll make you laugh, they'll make you cry, and they'll help you better understand Chinese and other Asian cultures. I can't recommend her picture books and middle grade novels enough for you and your kiddos.

Andrea previously joined me on the podcast to discuss how we can bring Chinese culture into our homes, and she graciously agreed to speak with me again, this time to unpack two specific Asian stereotypes and how we can teach our children to be in solidarity with the Asian community and push back against these stereotypes.

In this conversation, Andrea and I discuss:

• Asian stereotypes surrounding food and how we respond to them.
• Stereotypes about Asian names and how we can be more sensitive.
• Her recent books — "Watercress" and "The Many Meanings of Meilan."
• How children's books can serve as a springboard for teachable moments.
• How Andrea's books include relatable experiences.
• Andrea's hope for her books to show common humanity among races.

Race Talk Roadmap

Our Race Talk Roadmap is the tool you need to begin conversations about race and racism with your children! We have a list of three tips for parents of older children and a list of three tips for parents of younger children. Visit firstnamebasis.org/racetalk to get the Race Talk Roadmap sent straight to your inbox.

Ally Elementary

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching "Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families."

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action.

Click here to the waitlist!

Articles, Studies, & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

First Name Basis Podcast, Season 2, Episode 3: "Bringing Chinese Culture Into Our Homes"

Andrea Wang's website

Andrea Wang's Instagram

Andrea Wang's Twitter

Andrea's books:

• "The Many Meanings of Meilan"
• "Learning About Asia"
• "Magic Ramen"
• "Watercress"
• "The Nian Monster"
• "Lilu and the Language of Tea" (coming soon!)

Uzoamaka Aduba talks about the importance of her name

"A Different Pond" by Bao Phi and illustrated by Thi Bui

"AsianAm TikTok creator Kim Saira on James Corden late show, calls 'Spill Your Guts' racist"

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN

Can you believe that Halloween is just around the corner?

I know some of you super-prepared parents out there are already getting costumes put together for your kiddos, and you may be wondering about cultural appropriation as you're looking through the shelves and online at all the costume options.

I get asked all the time about how to avoid cultural appropriation with Halloween costumes, and it's actually a topic I've covered in the past.

In Season 3, Episode 1 of the First Name Basis Podcast — "Your Top 5 Cultural Appropriation Questions Answered" — I answered two questions about how to avoid cultural appropriation at Halloween.

Because this topic is sort of hidden in that episode, I decided to take pieces of that episode, add a bit more info, and make one episode — a one-stop shop for you to get all of your costume questions answered.

In this episode, you will learn about:

• Indigenous appropriation on Halloween and how these costumes put Indigenous women in danger.
• How you can avoid appropriation in Halloween costumes.
• When it is appropriate to wear cultural artifacts.

Race Talk Roadmap

Our Race Talk Roadmap is the tool you need to begin conversations about race and racism with your children! We have a list of three tips for parents of older children and a list of three tips for parents of younger children. Visit firstnamebasis.org/racetalk to get the Race Talk Roadmap sent straight to your inbox.

Ally Elementary

Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast. So this October we are launching "Ally Elementary: Anti-Racist Education For Families."

During this five-week program parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home, and I will be there to guide them every step of the way. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action.

Click here to the waitlist!

Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced In The Episode

First Name Basis Podcast: Season 3, Episode 1: "Your Top 5 Cultural Appropriation Questions Answered"

"These costumes objectify Native American women. Retailers won't stop selling them" by Nadra Nittle, Vox

"Our Society Can Never Really Eradicate Patriarchy or Sexual Violence When We Permit Violence Against Indigenous Women," by Dani M., Wear Your Voice

"Yandy Responds to New Times Article, Says Costumes 'Pay Homage' to Native Americans" by Molly Longman, Phoenix New Times

"Yandy Finally Got Rid Of An Offensive Costume. So Why Are Some Protesters Still Angry?" by Molly Longman, Refinery29

"How to dress your Pākehā child up as Maui or Moana without appropriating Pasifika culture" by Emmaline Matagi, The Spinoff

"Please don't tell your kids they can't dress as Moana this Halloween" by Preeti Varathan, Quartz

"PSA: Don't Let Your Kid Dress Up In These Costumes" by Rachel Garlinghouse, Scary Mommy

"Why Your White Kid Probably Shouldn't Dress Up As Moana For Halloween" by Eden Hagos, Today's Parent

Little Koto's Closet Blog

Song Credit: "Sleeper" by Steve Adams" and "Dive Down" by VYEN