For Real: Life, Leadership, & Unlearning

Today we welcome Sara Abernethy, a performer-turned-hospitalitarian who's navigating the challenges of burnout, motherhood, and partnership struggles.

This conversation isn't just about business; it's about what happens behind the scenes. Sara gets candid about the identity shifts of being in the wrong role, the toll it takes when business and marriage collide, and the resilience it requires to step back, reimagine, and pursue joy again.

If you've ever questioned whether the version of success you built is actually what you want, this episode gives you both the permission and the perspective to redefine it.

In this episode, you'll learn about:

• Sara's journey from opera singer to restaurant owner and what it taught her about roles and identity.
• The painful reality of outgrowing a version of success you once chased.
• Why chasing "hard" as an entrepreneur can mask the ahas you need to hear.
• The surprising role that motherhood played in her "midlife awakening."
• Sara's rock-bottom moment and the powerful practice of asking, "What are we tolerating?"
• A step-by-step guide to "The Work" by Byron Katie, and how it helped Sara process resentment and find clarity in her relationship.
• How to pursue joy and delight in "tiny morsels" of your everyday life.
• The simple daily mantra that can help you find a sense of peace and pride in yourself.

Episode Timestamps:

• 00:00:00 – Acknowledging that the life you built might not be what you want.
• 00:02:00 – Sara's journey: from performer to hospitalitarian and entrepreneurship.
• 00:05:00 – The identity shift from restaurant operator to CEO and the challenges it created.
• 00:09:00 – Hitting a breaking point and feeling like a "huge failure."
• 00:10:00 – How motherhood provided a necessary pause and led to an important realization.
• 00:15:00 – The struggle of constant ideas and discerning between joy and survival.
• 00:18:00 – A rock-bottom moment with her husband and facing the potential "fork in the road."
• 00:22:00 – Processing resentment and using "The Work" to find a path forward.
• 00:25:00 – Ascending to "founder land" and embracing the pursuit of joy.
• 00:27:00 – The power of "her seat at the table" and the vulnerability of shared stories.
• 00:36:00 – A final message: Why not everything you do has to be productive.
• 00:38:00 – What Sara is most proud of in this season of her life.

About Sara Abernethy:  

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sara.abernethy/ 
• Podcast: Her Seat at the Table (https://open.spotify.com/show/5rgHmPRjR3Nu8a4NcBdRR1) 
• Holiday Caroling Group, Sleigh Bells: https://www.instagram.com/sleighbellesnc/?hl=en

Local to North Carolina? Visit Sara's Restaurants: Wye Hill Kitchen and Brewing & Glasshouse Kitchen

Feeling the pull to pause and realign? Join me October 27–30 in Ocean Isle Beach, NC for my Restore & Realign Retreat, only a few spots left! Reserve yours here: https://www.theplannersvault.com/restore-realign-retreat-application

For Real on Social Media: 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

What happens when the life you've built no longer fits the person you've become?

In this episode, Megan talks to Amber Rae, who shares her story of a profound unraveling that began with a single, eye-opening moment, leading her to confront the truth about her marriage, her career, and the beliefs she had held for years. 

If you've ever felt that quiet pull to make a change but has been too afraid to follow it, you'll want to tune in.

In this episode, you'll learn about:

• Why we are conditioned to choose others' happiness over our own—and the deep-seated fear behind it.
• The dangerous trap of "self-abandonment" and how it masquerades as self-love.
• The difference between your intuition and the noisy voices of fear and expectation.
• A powerful journaling practice to help you discern which voice is speaking to you.
• Why we often try to fix our external circumstances (our jobs, our home) instead of facing the truth about what needs to shift internally.
• How to borrow courage from the categories in your life where you already feel confident.
• The crucial reframe: walking away from something you've outgrown is an act of leadership, not selfishness.

Episode Timestamps:

• 00:03:00 – The pivotal moment that sparked Amber's unraveling.
• 00:05:00 – Why the unraveling is happening to so many women right now.
• 00:08:00 – The connection between Amber's personal journey and her new book, Lovable.
• 00:10:20 – The messy reality of healing and why it's not a linear process.
• 00:19:00 – The difficult question: Is it self-love or self-abandonment?
• 00:23:25 – The realization that we often "self-abandon" in one area of life but not others.
• 00:28:00 – How to discern the voice of intuition from the noise of fear.
• 00:31:30 – A powerful journaling practice for listening to your internal voices.

About Amber Rae: 

• Website: https://www.amberrae.com/ 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyamberrae/ 
• Book: Loveable by Amber Rae: https://www.amazon.com/Loveable-Womans-Path-Good-Free/dp/1250809339

For Real on Social Media: 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

This episode was edited and produced by Walk West and is brought to you by Megan's online membership site for wedding pros, The Planner’s Vault.

Feeling the pull to pause and realign? Join me October 27–30 in Ocean Isle Beach, NC for my Restore & Realign Retreat, only a few spots left! Reserve yours here: https://www.theplannersvault.com/restore-realign-retreat-application

Today we're talking about that moment so many high-achieving business owners encounter: 

"What's next?"

You’ve built something you're proud of, but a shift is happening. Maybe you’re craving more ease, simplicity, impact, or space and rest. The conventional wisdom tells us growth equals success, but the truth is, success gets to look different in every season and for every person. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is pause and redefine what success means to you, right now.

This episode is for entrepreneurs who have poured their time, sweat, and tears into building something meaningful, and are now asking deeper questions. For the first time, maybe it’s less about proving and more about peace. Megan shares her own journey through this "in-between" space and why this crossroads isn't a failure—it's an invitation.

This isn't a one-size-fits-all answer, but a guide to help you get clear on what you truly want and choose a path that feels grounded, not forced.

Let's Work Together:
Book a 90-Minute Clarity Call
Join Our In Person VIP CEO Day

Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!

For Real on Social Media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

Feeling the pull to pause and realign? Join me October 27–30 in Ocean Isle Beach, NC for my Restore & Realign Retreat, only a few spots left! Reserve yours here: https://www.theplannersvault.com/restore-realign-retreat-application

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

If you've been feeling that familiar drain of exhaustion, persistent brain fog, or like your body simply isn't keeping up with your high-achieving mind, this episode is going to hit home. 

From blood sugar and sleep to your environment and that annoying inner critic, this episode is about tuning in, clearing the noise, and finding your way back to feeling like yourself again.

In this episode, you'll learn about:

• Sarah Reilly's personal, years-long journey with undiagnosed Lyme disease and how it fueled her passion for functional medicine.
• The overwhelm of health information and how to find what's right for your unique body.
• The intricate web of factors (stress, infections, toxins, diet) that can trigger autoimmunity.
• Early warning signs of stress in your body, from insidious cravings and middle-of-the-night waking to brain fog and digestive issues.
• Why sleep is the foundational step for restoring your brain and body.
• The truth about "adrenal fatigue" and the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis dysfunction.
• A crucial perspective on intermittent fasting: why it's not for everyone, especially high achievers already battling high cortisol or hypoglycemia.
• Practical strategies for nutrient-dense meals to balance blood sugar and sustain energy throughout your day (including a specific smoothie recipe!).
• How to make healthy foods more appealing ("dress up your veggies!").
• Navigating the financial investment in functional medicine and why it's worth its weight in gold for customized, strategic support.

Episode Timestamps:

• 00:00:00 – Is your body keeping up with your high-achieving mind?
• 00:02:48 – Sarah's personal journey: undiagnosed Lyme and the path to functional medicine.
• 00:06:51 – The overwhelm of conflicting health information for high achievers.
• 00:15:58 – Early warning signs of stress you might be overlooking in your body.
• 00:21:12 – The crucial first step to better health: mastering your sleep.
• 00:26:41 – Understanding "adrenal fatigue" and how stress impacts your hormones.
• 00:33:05 – The truth about intermittent fasting: is it right for you?
• 00:38:03 – Practical strategies for nutrient-dense meals and a go-to smoothie recipe.
• 00:44:48 – Investing in your health: navigating the costs of customized care.

About Sarah Reilly:

• Website: https://getnourished.net/
• Sarah Reilly's Free Guide: "15 TRIGGERS KEEPING YOU FEELING FAT, BLOATED, ACHY & BURNT OUT".
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/getnourished.sarah/

Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!

For Real on Social Media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

If you've found yourself stuck in overdrive, constantly pushing past empty, or saying "yes" when your body is screaming "no," this solo episode is for you. Megan explores the four crucial boundaries she had to implement after her own intense burnout season.

This isn't theory; it's lived experience. Megan shares the raw truth about what changed, why it had to, and how these boundaries helped her reset, reclaim her energy, and build a more sustainable life and business.

Will you take action to help you slow down and course-correct before burnout forces your hand?

In this episode, you'll learn about:

• Why Megan's late 2023/early 2024 burnout was a catalyst for radical change.
• The profound impact of treating yourself like a robot (and why it will eventually catch up).
• How setting boundaries can help you reclaim your energy and redefine success.

Episode Timestamps:

• 00:01:43 – Feeling stuck in overdrive
• 00:07:05 – How can you create space for repair and restoration in your busiest days?
• 00:13:30 – What happens when your helpfulness leads to deep exhaustion and resentment?
• 00:23:45 – How can you stay informed without being overwhelmed by the world's weight?
• 00:29:40 – What if your commitments are draining you instead of fulfilling you?
• 00:40:00 – A simple way to pause before saying "yes"

Let's Work Together:
Book a 90-Minute Clarity Call
Join Our In Person VIP CEO Day

Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!

For Real on Social Media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Are you caught in a loop of overthinking, over-planning, or playing it too safe? In this episode, Megan sits down with acclaimed psychologist, author, and TEDx speaker Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) to explore how high achievers can break free from anxiety, over-analysis, and the relentless pursuit of perfection.

This conversation is a must-listen if you're ready to untangle old patterns, create more ease, clarity, and alignment in your life, and finally trust yourself to navigate uncertainty.

Quick Note: This episode is part of an unintentional mini-series! If this topic resonates, be sure to check out Episode 317: Unlearning Overworking (solo episode on why rest feels uncomfortable for high achievers) and Episode 318: The Real Reason You’re Questioning Everything (with guest Laura Gassner Otting, on identity shifts and trusting intuition). Each offers a unique perspective on burnout, identity, and self-trust.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ How anxiety and fear-based responses shrink our lives – and how to expand beyond them 
✅ The surprising truth about perfectionism in high achievers (it's not just about academics!)
✅ Why "just drop your standards" is an alienating message for people who deeply care 
✅ The subtle yet crucial difference between "doing your best" and "doing good enough" 
✅ Why your inner critic is paradoxically trying to protect you – and how to respond to it 
✅ The unhelpful cycle of responding to thinking with more thinking (and how to break it!) 
✅ Common psychological traps that keep us stuck in chronic indecision 
✅ The power of making "workable" choices instead of chasing "perfect" ones 
✅ Why self-trust doesn't mean the absence of self-doubt, but the willingness to act with it 
✅ The deepest fear for high achievers (and how to identify what's truly driving your actions) 
✅ How to tap into your innate wisdom amidst the noise of constant doing and hustling

About Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z):

Website: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.z.passionatebehaviorist/

Episode Timestamps:

• 00:03:50 – Dr. Z's personal journey with anxiety and the pivotal panic attack
• 00:05:00 – How anxiety shrinks our lives and stops us from living authentically
• 00:06:10 – Megan's experience as a professional worrier turned wedding planner
• 00:08:36 – The hidden perfectionism of high achievers and why they can't "do mediocre work"
• 00:10:49 – Why "dropping your standards" creates resistance and an alienated message
• 00:12:07 – Dr. Z's story of being told to "stop working so hard" and its impact
• 00:13:22 – Navigating generational shifts: "Practice makes perfect" vs. "Practice makes progress"
• 00:14:57 – The radical acceptance of being an overachiever and learning to discriminate
• 00:17:37 – Preparing for the guilt and remorse that comes with "good enough"
• 00:18:11 – Distinguishing what's "good enough" in different life buckets (business, motherhood)
• 00:19:31 – The role of self-compassion and humility in making tough choices
• 00:23:15 – The value of pausing and processing (watching your mind)
• 00:24:34 – Responding to yourself with gentleness and kindness when guilt arrives
• 00:25:11 – The never-ending background noise of the inner critic
• 00:26:24 – Understanding the inner critic's purpose: It's trying to protect you
• 00:29:49 – Why you can't win a "mind chess game" with your inner critic
• 00:31:17 – Making decisions from values vs. fear (avoiding or gaining something)
• 00:32:28 – Navigating big life decisions without spiraling into overwhelm
• 00:33:53 – Why humans hate uncertainty and how it impacts decision-making
• 00:35:43 – The Buddhist parable of the monkey and the lotus (attachment to "how things are supposed to be")
• 00:37:03 – Thinking biases: black and white thinking, hypervigilance, fear of regret
• 00:37:55 – Our ability to adapt: every decision is a bet on the future
• 00:38:26 – Maximizers vs. Satisficers: Understanding your decision style
• 00:41:01 – Giving ourselves permission to make a workable, not perfect, choice
• 00:41:51 – The crucial role of self-trust in navigating what comes next
• 00:42:40 – Psychological flexibility: being flexible with the world inside and out
• 00:44:54 – Overthinking as a coping mechanism to avoid emotions
• 00:46:43 – The deepest fear of high achievers: the fear of failure
• 00:47:50 – Checking in: What is really driving your "go, go, go" mode?
• 00:48:40 – Cultivating your inner wisdom (it's soft and tender, not demanding)

Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!

For Real on Social Media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

You’ve checked the boxes. You’ve followed the rules. And still, something feels… off. If you’re standing in the middle of success and wondering, “Now what?”, this episode is for you.

Laura Gassner Otting - bestselling author, keynote speaker, and all-around truth-teller - joins Megan to talk about identity shifts, outgrowing your former self, and the surprising power of trusting your intuition.

This conversation is for the high achievers who are secretly exhausted. For the people-pleasers who are learning to say “no.” For the women who are ready to stop playing small.

Because what got you here won’t get you there, and Laura’s here to help you figure out what comes next.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ What to do when you’ve built success that no longer fits you
✅ How to know when it’s time to walk away from a job, business, or relationship
✅ Why we cling to old versions of ourselves - and how to gently unravel them
✅ The subtle difference between imposter syndrome and growth
✅ Why comparison is the root of mediocrity
✅ How to use facts, not fear, to make bold decisions
✅ The importance of protecting your energy and curating your inner circle
✅ Laura’s “F you, pay me” mantra—and how to claim your worth without apology
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About Laura Gassner Otting (LGO):

• Website: https://lauragassnerotting.com/
• Books (Wonderhell and Limitless): https://lauragassnerotting.com/resources/#books
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heylgo/

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00:03:24 – From the White House to TEDx: Laura’s beautifully messy origin story
00:07:55 – Identity crisis: What it really looks like and why it’s so common
00:10:00 – Why the people who “know you best” might be holding you back
00:13:53 – Changing the voice in your head from a limitation to an invitation
00:18:28 – When to know you’ve stayed too long—and why success can lead to sabotage
00:22:59 – The myth of being “for everyone” and the gift of letting go
00:24:31 – Confidence through facts, not fluff
00:27:23 – You’re not out of your league—you’re just out of your lexicon
00:30:59 – Comparison vs. becoming a category of one
00:34:46 – How to train your brain to see opportunities (not just obstacles)
00:36:39 – Why too much advice might mean you already know the answer
00:39:11 – “F*ck you, pay me”: The mantra you didn’t know you needed

Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!

For Real on Social Media:

Instagram: @forrealwithmeg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

At the end of 2023, there was this phrase I kept hearing in my head on repeat. 

"It doesn't feel safe to slow down."

I'd end my days feeling completely depleted mentally, physically, and emotionally. And yet I'd still push myself to do more. Sometimes it was work stuff, sometimes it was home stuff. 

But I had this constant, almost compulsive need to be doing something productive at all times. 

Rest felt elusive, like this thing other people could do, once they'd earned it. For me, rest basically just meant sleep. It was a quick reset so I could get up and do it all over again.

Sound familiar?  Let's figure out how we can unlearn that habit.
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Episode Mentioned: 314. The 3 Small Habit Shifts That Changed My Energy, Focus, and CEO Mindset

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Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!

For Real on Social Media:

Instagram: @forrealwithmeg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Today I'm sharing something big. 

It's a shift that's been a long time coming, one that mirrors the evolution that I've been going through behind the scenes for the last couple of years. It's part update, part story-time, and part love letter to you, to this podcast, and to what's coming next.

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Weddings for Real on Social Media:

Instagram: @weddingsforreal

Facebook: @weddingsforreal

twitter: @weddingsforreal

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

For years, the events and hospitality industry has glorified burnout—long hours, nonstop chaos, toxic management—and called it passion. But what if there's a better way?

Anthony Lambatos, CEO of Footers Catering and founder of Make It Better Every Day, joins us today to prove that you can build a thriving business and a culture people actually want to be part of. He’s created a workplace where fun and productivity go hand in hand, and where culture isn’t a poster on the wall—it’s lived and breathed, every day.

Whether you lead a team now or dream of growing one someday, this episode will get you thinking about what’s possible when you lead with heart.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ Why fun and productivity aren’t mutually exclusive
✅ How to identify the biggest culture killer in your business (hint: it might be your “top performer”)
✅ A simple matrix to assess culture fit vs. job performance
✅ What it really takes to live your values, not just list them
✅ How to spark team buy-in and momentum when shifting culture
✅ Anthony’s favorite interview tactic to determine who’s truly aligned
✅ What “balance” really means in hospitality—and how to model it
✅ The one piece of advice he wishes he could give his younger self

Connect with Anthony Lambatos:

• Website and Weekly Leadership Newsletter: https://themibe.com
• Heart Leadership Workshop: August 18–19, 2025: https://themibe.com/mibeworkshop
• MIBE Summit: January 2026 (dates TBA): https://themibe.com/summit

00:00:00 – Burnout, chaos, and shifting toxic norms in hospitality
00:03:38 – Why bad leadership models persist—and how to break the cycle
00:05:24 – The culture boulder: how to build momentum (and know who’s pulling it back)
00:08:07 – The culture vs. performance matrix—and how to handle toxic high performers
00:13:25 – Values on the wall vs. values in practice
00:17:04 – Fab Tigers, Jimmy Bucks, and reinforcing behavior through story
00:19:15 – Why they all eat lunch together—and what happens during it
00:23:45 – How Anthony’s team handles feedback and vulnerability
00:25:41 – The 7-step hiring process (and the “deck of values” trick)
00:30:00 – 4 characteristics of top performers: perseverance, initiative, teamwork, positivity
00:33:48 – Where Anthony learned to lead—and how he learned what not to do
00:36:00 – Pom poms, productivity, and making work fun again
00:38:36 – The three foundations of culture: strengths, purpose, and people

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Weddings for Real on Social Media:

Instagram: @weddingsforreal

Facebook: @weddingsforreal

twitter: @weddingsforreal

Hosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.