Found at 40

Perimenopause has entered the chat—and most of us were never given the manual. In this episode, I sit down with therapist and author Lauren Tetenbaum to unpack what’s actually happening in our bodies during perimenopause and menopause, and why so many women feel blindsided by it. This conversation is equal parts validating, eye-opening, and surprisingly empowering. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this normal?”—this episode is for you.

We talk symptoms, hormones, identity shifts, and what it really looks like to prepare for this next phase of life—without fear, shame, or misinformation.

(0:00) 🎙️ Why perimenopause feels like it came out of nowhere for so many women
(4:00) 🤯 The early symptoms of perimenopause you might be missing (and mislabeling)
(7:00) 🧠 Brain fog, mood swings & anxiety—what’s actually happening hormonally
(11:00) 🔄 Why your body suddenly feels “off” (and why it’s not in your head)
(15:00) 🩺 The biggest gaps in women’s health education around menopause
(19:00) 📉 Hormones explained simply: what’s dropping, shifting, and why it matters
(23:00) 😩 Sleep issues, irritability & burnout—how they’re all connected
(27:00) 💬 The emotional side of perimenopause no one talks about
(31:00) 🔥 Libido, relationships & identity changes in midlife
(35:00) 🧴 What actually helps: treatment options, lifestyle shifts & support
(39:00) 📚 Inside Millennial Menopause—why this guide is different
(43:00) 🧩 How to advocate for yourself with doctors (and what to ask for)
(47:00) 🌱 Reframing menopause as a transition—not a decline
(51:00) ✨ What women in their 30s and 40s should know now to feel prepared

Follow Lauren on Instagram at @thecounselaur

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

If you’ve ever thought, “I want a village… but also I don’t want to leave my house,” this episode is going to feel uncomfortably relatable—in the best way. Today I’m joined by writer, speaker, and educator Brooke Romney, whose words about community, connection, and showing up have sparked conversations everywhere.

In this honest, witty, and thought-provoking conversation, we dig into why so many of us are craving deeper friendships and real community—while also protecting our time, guarding our energy, and avoiding anything inconvenient.

We talk about what modern life is getting right (hello, convenience) and what it might be quietly costing us, the invisible work that actually holds communities together, and why the little things we tend to dismiss might be the exact things that create the connection we’re looking for.

(0:00) 🎙️ Meet Brooke Romney + why this conversation about community matters now

(6:00) 💬 The viral post that sparked a bigger conversation about connection

(7:00) 🧠 “If we only do what we enjoy… who does the rest?”

(10:00) 🔄 What shifted from “protect your peace” to craving real community

(13:00) 📱 Convenience culture, screen time, and why life feels lonelier

(16:00) 🧩 The invisible work that quietly holds communities together

(19:00) 🚨 The bystander effect—and why people don’t step up

(24:00) ⚖️ People-pleasing vs. true community (a powerful reframe)

(28:00) ✨ Why things that don’t spark joy often lead to deeper fulfillment

(34:00) 🏡 What it actually means to “be a villager” in real life

(37:00) 😓 When you feel like you’re the only one showing up

(44:00) 🌱 Simple, realistic ways to start building connection today

Follow Brooke on Instagram at @brookeromneywrites

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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If you’ve ever wondered how to make friends in your 40s, how to parent a teenager without losing authority, or what to do when you don’t know what you’re doing with your life—this episode is for you. In this first-ever advice episode of Found at 40, Chrissi is joined by her sister Sarah to answer real listener questions about friendship in adulthood, marriage communication, parenting teens, identity in midlife, and navigating major life transitions after 40. 

This conversation covers everything from how long it actually takes to build deep friendships as an adult, to what to do when your spouse wants something you’re not comfortable with, to how to approach difficult relationships with parents—even in your 40s. They also unpack midlife career confusion, rediscovering yourself after years of motherhood, and the emotional transition of your child graduating and leaving home.

If you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, or like you “should have it figured out by now,” this episode offers honest, practical, and relatable advice for navigating midlife with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust.

(0:00) 🎙️ Advice episode kickoff: unfiltered, real-life advice for midlife women
(2:00) 💔 Divorce, healing, and rebuilding your life in your 40s
(5:00) 🍝 Parenting, family life, and redefining “normal” experiences for your kids
(10:00) 🤝 How to make friends in your 40s and build real adult friendships
(12:00) ⏳ How long it takes to form deep friendships (and why it feels so hard)
(14:00) 🔁 Simple habits that turn acquaintances into close friends
(16:00) 🔥 Marriage communication: what to do when partners want different things sexually
(20:00) 🧭 Midlife identity crisis: “I don’t know what to do with my life”
(25:00) 📱 Reconnecting with yourself: boredom, phone habits, and self-discovery
(27:00) 🛍️ Midlife confidence and style: when to invest in yourself (yes, even leggings)
(29:00) 💡 Life lessons by 40: stress, money, and what actually matters
(30:00) 👩‍👧 Parenting teens: boundaries, trust, and staying the parent—not the friend
(34:00) 😬 Difficult parent relationships: setting boundaries and communicating with confidence
(40:00) 🎓 Kids leaving home: navigating identity, grief, and the empty nest transition
(41:00) ❤️ Friendship in your 40s: what qualities matter most now

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

If your body has changed, your confidence has taken a hit, and getting dressed feels way more emotional than it used to, this episode is for you. In this conversation, Chrissi sits down with Jenna Rohlfing to talk about midlife body changes, body confidence, mid-size fashion, autoimmune weight gain, style after body changes, people-pleasing, self-worth, and how to feel like yourself again. Jenna shares how Hashimoto’s, inflammation, aging, and identity shifts affected the way she saw herself — and how she began rebuilding confidence from the inside out. This is an honest, funny, deeply relatable conversation about midlife confidence, body image, getting dressed in a changing body, and learning to stop waiting for the “goal body” to start living your life.

(0:00) 👖 Midlife body changes, low confidence, and why getting dressed can suddenly feel like a full emotional event.
(2:00) 📱 The Instagram post that connected Chrissi and Jenna — and how Jenna built a platform around mid-size fashion, body confidence, and helping women feel more like themselves again.
(5:00) 🎙️ Jenna’s unexpected path from speech language pathologist to content creator — and how honesty, style, and confidence became the heart of her work.
(7:00) 👖 “Why are my jeans mad at me?” The body-change season that changed everything, and the identity spiral so many women quietly understand.
(9:00) 🩺 Unexplained symptoms, frustrating assumptions, and the Hashimoto’s diagnosis that finally gave context to Jenna’s autoimmune weight gain and inflammation.
(12:00) 🌿 Hashimoto’s, inflammation, stress, diet changes, strength training, and the lifestyle shifts Jenna had to make when her body stopped responding the way it used to.
(16:00) 💭 The mindset shift that helped Jenna start rebuilding body confidence — and why confidence starts long before the outfit does.
(19:00) 🛍️ Buying the pants that fit, letting go of the number on the tag, and why women’s sizing deserves its own public apology.
(24:00) 👗 Style after body changes: body shape, trends, mid-size fashion, and the difference between “this doesn’t work for me” and “something is wrong with me.”
(26:00) 🚫 People-pleasing, approval, and how midlife confidence gets stronger when you stop outsourcing your worth to everyone else.
(32:00) 👯‍♀️ A mean girl moment, online visibility, and what it looks like to handle criticism differently in your 40s.
(38:00) 🎉 Why turning 40 can feel surprisingly freeing — and how aging can bring a new kind of confidence, self-trust, and clarity.
(40:00) 🧺 Practical confidence tips: stop dressing for the goal body, clean up your social media feed, and rethink what actually helps you feel good in your clothes.
(43:00) 💛 Body image, daughters, aging, a Schitt's Creek moment, and a rapid-fire ending full of influencer-life chaos and fun.

Follow Jenna on Instagram and TikTok at @jennaleighstl
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Midlife can feel like a Monica Geller closet—stuffed with “shoulds,” mental load, and expectations you’ve been carrying for years. In this episode of Found at 40, Chrissi sits down with Rachel Nielson from the podcast Three in 30 Takeaways for Moms to take the core principles of decluttering and apply them to midlife overwhelm, identity shifts, motherhood pressure, and self-trust. You’ll learn how to sort what’s weighing you down, edit the roles that no longer fit, and make room for more joy—without overhauling your entire life. #midlifedecluttered

(0:00) 🎙️ Rachel Nielson joins + why midlife questions are more common than we think
(4:00) 🧠 The “Monica Geller closet” metaphor for mental load + overwhelm
(6:00) 🔄 Identity shifts in your 40s: feeling grateful and still feeling “off”
(10:00) ✨ The surprising theme of midlife: acceptance, confidence, and self-trust
(12:00) 📝 Step 1—Inventory: the brain-dump that stops overwhelm from running the show
(15:00) 🧺 Motherhood “shoulds” you didn’t realize you were carrying (and why they’re exhausting)
(18:00) 🧬 Midlife wellness pressure: when “self-care” turns into another checklist
(21:00) ✂️ Step 2—Edit: deciding what expectations still fit you now
(23:00) 🎮 Parenting pivots: releasing the “I thought I’d be this kind of mom” story
(27:00) ⚖️ Acceptance vs. resignation: how to tell the difference in midlife
(30:00) 📸 The photo moment that reframes aging and body changes
(36:00) 🌈 Step 3—Make room for joy: what comes after you declutter your mind
(40:00) 🛼 Joy experiments + hobbies: trying things without being good at them first
(44:00) 🧱 The belief Rachel decluttered: what a “good mom” is allowed to want
(50:00) 💛 Final takeaways: the small shifts that make midlife feel lighter

Follow Rachel and the 3 in 30 podcast on Instagram at @3in30podcast

Access Rachel’s Motherhood Decluttered Course here and use code FOUND40 for 40% off!

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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Keywords: midlife decluttered, midlife crisis, reinventing yourself at 40, finding yourself again, mental load, motherhood mental load, decluttering your mind, midlife overwhelm, identity in midlife, self trust, boundaries, burnout recovery, nervous system, personal growth for women, women in their 40s

What does it actually look like to find yourself again in midlife—without pressure, perfection, or a full life overhaul? In this episode of Found at 40, Chrissi talks with Leila Howell of My Kind of Glow about identity loss in motherhood, realistic wellness, nervous system regulation, and the small habits that help you feel like yourself again. Leila shares how one deeply relatable “gentle glow-up” reel went viral, and why her message resonated with so many women in their 40s. If you’ve been feeling invisible, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself, this conversation is the reset you didn’t know you needed.

(0:00) ✨ Chrissi shares why Leila’s “gentle glow-up” message hit such a nerve for so many women in midlife

(3:00) 🎥 Leila tells the story behind the reel that went viral—and what was happening in real life when she posted it

(5:00) 🌍 Leila opens up about moving between Australia and Seattle, raising kids, and navigating a major life transition

(8:00) 🎨 How she went from graphic designer to stay-at-home mom to content creator (without planning for any of it)

(10:00) 💥 The moment she realized the typical “glow-up” content wasn’t what she—or other women—actually needed

(12:00) 👻 They talk about identity loss in motherhood and that quiet midlife feeling of “Where did I go?”

(15:00) 🪞 Leila explains what a real midlife glow-up means to her—and why it’s more about self-trust than self-improvement

(19:00) 📱 What it felt like to suddenly grow an audience of women who deeply related to her message

(23:00) 🔁 A conversation about tiny habits, momentum, and how to start feeling better when life already feels full

(27:00) 🧳 Leila shares the emotional side of moving countries, reverse culture shock, and starting over with young kids

(31:00) 🎨 They get into perfectionism, creativity, and why being “bad” at something can actually be healing

(38:00) 🫶 Pillar 1: Leila shares what body respect looks like in midlife (without diet-culture energy)

(40:00) 🌿 Pillar 2: Why nervous system regulation comes before almost everything else

(42:00) 🥗 Pillar 3: What realistic wellness looks like when you’re tired, busy, and in a full season of life

(44:00) 💛 Pillar 4: How self-trust gets rebuilt in small, everyday choices

(46:00) 🚰 Pillar 5: The “life-supporting habits” approach that helps things feel doable (not overwhelming)

(48:00) 🎉 Final Four favorites, funny moments, and what Leila feels she’s truly found after 40

(58:00) 📅 A preview of Leila’s “My Kind of Glow Reset” and the small-steps challenge she’s launching next

Follow Leila on Instagram and TikTok at @mykindofglow_  and stay tuned for her 28 Day Small Steps Guide. 

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: midlife reinvention, finding yourself again, midlife glow up, identity loss in motherhood, motherhood and identity, women over 40 wellness, nervous system regulation, realistic self care, self trust in midlife, midlife burnout recovery, gentle habits for women, Atomic Habits for moms, perimenopause wellness habits, starting over at 40, midlife reset for moms

Middle school can feel like emotional whiplash—one minute your kid wants you close, the next you’re getting an eye roll and attitude that makes you wonder, "What is going on?" In this episode, Chrissi sits down with Instagram’s favorite middle school parent coach Bridget KerMorris to unpack what’s really happening beneath the mood swings, disrespect, and constant tech tension—and how parents can stay steady without becoming permissive. You’ll hear why the parent-child relationship is one of the most protective factors in the tween/teen years, plus a practical framework for responding with calm authority (even when you’re triggered). If you’re parenting middle schoolers—especially if big feelings, ADHD, or neurodivergence are part of the picture—this conversation will help you feel more connected, more confident, and less like you’re living inside a daily power struggle.

(1:05) 🎙️ Meet Bridget KerMorris: attorney, therapist + parent coach + mom of seven raising middle schoolers in real time
(3:20) 😬 Why parents dread middle school—and how to turn down the heat at home
(6:10) 🧠 The most protective factor for tweens + teens: the parent-child relationship (and why it’s not “soft”)
(8:05) 🧭 Authority vs. authoritarian: how to hold boundaries without constant power struggles
(10:45) 🧩 Trauma + meaning-making: why what you say (or don’t say) after hard moments matters
(12:40) 📱 Tech rules, phones, Snapchat: how to set limits without your kid hearing “I don’t trust you”
(14:20) 🛑 Pillar 1: The Update Method: how to pause when you’re triggered so you can respond (not react)
(18:00) 🤝 Pillar 2: Accessible, Responsive, Engaged—what secure attachment looks like in middle school
(23:55) 🍉 The “little things” that build connection fast (and why kids never forget them)
(25:30) 🔁 Pillar 3: Repair: teaching accountability + relationship skills after conflict
(27:10) 💡 Pillar 4: Curious relational parenting: helping kids understand their inner world (before adulthood)
(30:40) 🧠 Parenting neurodivergent middle schoolers: rejection sensitivity, emotional dysregulation, and what helps
(37:10) 🌪️ When your kid is constantly moody: how to get back to neutral ground as a family
(42:10) 🧱 Containment + kindness: addressing eye rolls & disrespect without becoming permissive
(48:15) 🗂️ Free guide + Stay Close cards: daily conversation prompts that help your tween open up
(51:45) 🎶 Fun wrap: concerts, celeb look-alike, and what Bridget has “found” in her forties

Follow Bridget on Instagram at @bridget.parentcoach and get your free guide here: 50 Ways I’m Staying Closer to My Middle Schooler

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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Keywords: Parenting middle schoolers, middle school parenting tips, how to stay connected to your tween, tween mood swings, handling disrespect from tweens, how to respond when your child is rude, connection-based parenting, attachment-focused parenting, building secure attachment with teens, repairing after a parent-child conflict, setting boundaries with tweens, screen time limits for middle schoolers, phone boundaries for tweens and teens, parenting a neurodivergent child (ADHD/autism), parenting strategies for tweens and teens.

Why does adult friendship feel so much harder than it used to — even when nothing is “wrong”? In this episode, Chrissi and her sister Sarah unpack why loneliness, disconnection, and friendship confusion are so common in midlife, especially for women navigating busy schedules, shifting priorities, and changing seasons of life. They explore how modern life quietly reshaped the way we connect — and why feeling lonely isn’t a personal failure. If you’ve ever wondered why friendship feels emotional, awkward, or exhausting in adulthood, this conversation will help you feel seen, validated, and less alone.

(0:00) ❄️ A cold-weather catch-up and why everyday conversation still matters
(5:00) 🧠 Texting tone, all-caps conflict, and how adult relationships misread intention
(9:00) 🤝 Why adult friendship feels heavier — and why so many women quietly struggle
(12:00) 📉 The loneliness statistics that reveal a major cultural shift
(16:00) ☕ The loss of “third spaces” and how modern life fractured community
(20:00) 🧸 Parenting stages, aging kids, and the disappearance of built-in friendships
(24:00) 🎧 Feeling isolated in public — even when we’re surrounded by people
(28:00) ❤️ The Harvard study that reframes happiness, health, and relationships
(31:00) 🌱 “Medium friends” — why they matter, where they fit, and why they’re confusing
(35:00) 🧭 Wanting to show up without overstepping — and why silence can hurt more
(40:00) 🔄 Friendship bandwidth, emotional energy, and shrinking circles in midlife
(45:00) 🛒 Reimagining friendship through errand friends, shared activities, and low-pressure connection
(48:00) ✨ Final reflections on effort, vulnerability, and what adult friendship really needs

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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Keywords: adult friendship, loneliness in adulthood, making friends in midlife, female friendship in midlife, why adult friendship is hard, feeling lonely even with friends, modern loneliness epidemic, friendship after 40, losing friends as an adult, third spaces and community, rebuilding friendships in adulthood, emotional labor in friendships, friendship circles and bandwidth, medium friends vs close friends, connection and belonging in midlife

What happens when the life you carefully planned unravels — and you realize that it’s time to rebuild a completely new life? In this episode, Chrissi sits down with lifelong friend Melissa Griffiths (who is also the creator of the food blog Bless This Mess) to unpack a bold midlife pivot, from leaving a dream life behind to starting fresh across the country. Their conversation explores reinvention, resilience, family, community, and the messy magic of choosing change on purpose. 

(0:00) 🎙️ Why chosen life pivots can feel scarier than unexpected ones

(2:00) ❄️ From Southern Utah sunshine to snowy Northern Vermont

(5:00) 🏡 Building a dream life with full confidence it would last forever

(8:00) ⚠️ When comfort turns complicated — early signs of change

(11:00) 💔 A major family business shift that changes everything

(15:00) 🧠 Navigating betrayal, grief, stress, and emotional overwhelm

(19:00) 🚚 Searching the country for a new future — and landing on Vermont

(23:00) 🏫 Moving kids, switching schools, and adjusting as a family

(28:00) 🌱 Grieving the old life while building a new one

(33:00) 🧘‍♀️ Nervous system healing, health shifts, and slowing down

(39:00) 🔄 Midlife reinvention, identity changes, and redefining success

(46:00) 👩‍👩‍👧‍👦 Friendship, community, marriage, and intentional living

(52:00) ✨ Advice for anyone at a crossroads — courage, connection, and what’s next

Follow Melissa (and her new Vermont life!) at @blessthismessblog or discover your favorite new recipe at her blog Bless This Mess

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords:

midlife reinvention, major life pivot, starting over at 40, life plan falling apart, midlife career change, family relocation story, moving across the country with kids, redefining success in midlife, healing after major life change, building a new life after loss, resilience in midlife, intentional living at 40, personal growth through change, navigating identity shifts, finding community after a fresh start

Feeling behind in life can feel personal — but spoiler alert: it’s probably not just you. In this episode of Found at 40, Chrissi sits down with Kaley Esselborn to unpack why so many of us feel “off track,” how the psychology of the social clock messes with our confidence, and why outdated life timelines still have way too much influence. Together, they dive into comparison culture, shifting expectations across decades, resilience through life curveballs, and how to finally trust your own pace — without sprinting to keep up with someone else’s timeline.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “behind,” “late,” or somehow doing life wrong, this episode will leave you feeling seen, validated, and a whole lot more confident in your own timeline.

• (0:00) 🎙️ Why feeling behind in life is more common than we admit
• (4:45) 💭 Where timeline pressure begins and how it takes root
• (7:15) ⏳ The psychology of the social clock and why it impacts self-worth
• (12:15) 👀 How culture, community, and upbringing shape life expectations
• (16:45) 🧩 Reflecting on growing up with a “life script”
• (21:15) 📱 Comparison culture, highlight reels, and the illusion of falling behind
• (26:15) 🎬 A surprising pop-culture metaphor for reclaiming personal power
• (31:50) 💡 Listener submissions: When did you feel life you were behind?
• (38:45) ⏰ A look at your 20’s: Breaking down the social clock by decade
• (44:30) 🛠️ A look at your 30’s: Breaking down the social clock by decade
• (48:40)  🧠A look at your 30’s: Breaking down the social clock by decade
• (52:40) 🌱 A closing mindset shift to stop feeling behind and trust your timing

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords:

This episode explores themes around feeling behind in life, the psychology of the social clock, and the pressure of following a traditional life timeline. It dives into comparison culture, what it means to feel off track in life, and how to embrace a late bloomer mindset while rethinking life milestones. The conversation touches on overcoming societal expectations, understanding that you’re not actually behind in life, and building confidence in your own timeline. Listeners will hear insights on navigating a nonlinear life path, managing life progress anxiety, redefining success, learning how to stop comparing yourself, and finding empowerment through personal growth after 40.