Found at 40

Today is a first for the Found at 40 podcast: it’s just Chrissi for a solo mini episode

But not to worry, next week we’ll be back to normally scheduled programming with guests! This week I’m sharing what’s been on my mind lately—the funny little midlife moments, the honest reflections, and the deeper themes I’m seeing emerge from the first stretch of this podcast. I talk about what listeners are telling me they want more of, a perspective shift I can’t stop thinking about, and a look back at where I was in 2016 compared to now. If you’re in a season of reassessing, feeling “in between,” or quietly craving more clarity and belonging, you’ll feel seen here.

(0:00) 💔 The lingering question of adulthood: “Why can’t I find my people?” and why it hits differently in midlife

(0:45) 🎙️ Why this is a solo mini episode and what’s been surfacing for me behind the scenes

(1:30) 🪞 A midlife mirror moment: “Is this just my face now?” and the humor + honesty of noticing change

(2:30) 🔋 The reality of doing this work solo and what sustainability actually looks like right now

(3:20) 📈 What’s surprised me most from listeners so far and the themes people are craving

(4:10) 🧩 Friendship, inclusion, and belonging — and why midlife changes how these experiences land

(6:45) ⚡ A perspective shift I can’t stop thinking about: why forced inclusion doesn’t create real belonging

(10:00) 🎭 The importance of messy, human stories — the ones that make us laugh because they’re true

(12:30) 📸 Looking back at 2016 vs now: what that season taught me, what’s changed, and what no longer fits

(18:00) 🤍 Closing reflections on midlife as a reassessment — not a crisis — and letting this season unfold without rushing clarity

Here is the link to the Dear Nina episode I mentioned: Listen more here

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords:

midlife transition, midlife reassessment, women over 40, identity shifts in midlife, feeling in between seasons, belonging vs inclusion, loneliness in midlife, adult friendship changes, personal growth after 40, midlife reflection, life reassessment, motherhood and identity, navigating change in midlife, emotional shifts after 40, finding clarity in midlife

Midlife marriage isn’t broken—it’s being asked to evolve. In this honest, funny, and deeply relatable conversation, Chrissi and her guest Heather Adams talk about what happens when long-term love collides with kids, aging parents, health scares, and the quiet realization that marriage can’t run on autopilot anymore. They explore why the middle years can actually become the richest season of a relationship, and how intentional habits, better communication, and shared vision can transform even the busiest, messiest stage of life. If you’re navigating marriage in your 40s or 50s and craving deeper connection, this episode will leave you feeling hopeful, seen, and inspired.

(0:00) 💬 Why midlife marriage feels different—and why that shift can be a gift, not a problem

(4:00) 🏖️ A chance meeting, a big move, and the unexpected beginnings of a long-term love story

(8:00) 🧠 The unspoken stories couples carry—and how assumptions quietly create distance

(11:00) ❤️ Why emotional and physical intimacy can actually get better with time

(14:00) 🔄 What it means to grow into yourself—and how that changes your marriage

(16:00) 🫀 A health crisis that redefined priorities, presence, and partnership

(19:00) 📅 The weekly ritual that protects connection when life is full and chaotic

(23:00) 🏡 Why so many couples drift into roommate mode after kids—and how to avoid it

(27:00) 🌅 Turning the empty-nest transition into an opportunity instead of a crisis

(31:00) 🎯 Dreaming about the next 20 years and creating a shared vision for your marriage

(35:00) 🤝 How surrounding yourself with strong marriages shapes your own relationship

(41:00) 🧓 Navigating aging parents, caregiving, and the emotional weight of midlife together

(45:00) 🫶 Brené Brown’s powerful reminder about unequal seasons and why marriage is never 50/50

(48:00) 📺 What This Is Us teaches about supporting your partner instead of trying to fix them

(51:00) 🗣️ The four simple questions that help couples stay connected and avoid resentment

(55:00) 🌿 Breaking old family patterns and choosing a healthier, more intentional future together

(57:00) ✨ Why long-term love isn’t about perfection—but about grace, effort, and choosing each other

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: midlife marriage, long-term marriage advice, marriage after kids, reconnecting with your spouse, how to strengthen your marriage, marriage in your 40s and 50s, emotional intimacy in marriage, staying connected in a busy life, intentional marriage, communication in long-term relationships, marriage during midlife transitions, how to avoid growing apart, rebuilding connection with your partner, balancing family and marriage, thriving in midlife relationships

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, I did everything I was supposed to do… so why doesn’t this feel better?

In this episode, I’m joined by writer and cultural voice Amil Niazi for a candid, relatable conversation about her new memoir “Life Beyond Ambition” (out January 6!) and dive into not just ambition, but burnout and the moment you realize that chasing “success” doesn’t always deliver the fulfillment it promised. We dig into what happens when the timelines, expectations, and definitions of achievement we grew up with start to crack — and how freeing it can be when they do.

✨ (0:00) — Why feeling “behind in life” is so common (and so rarely talked about)

📖 (4:30) — A look at Amil’s early life and how ambition became a survival strategy

🏃‍♀️ (8:30) — Hustle culture, scrappy early jobs, and saying yes to everything just to get ahead

🧠 (13:00) — The myth of meritocracy and why “working harder” doesn’t level the playing field

⏳ (17:00) — The millennial career crisis and realizing the playbook we were sold no longer works

🔥 (21:30) — Burnout, box-checking, and why success doesn’t feel the way we expected it to

🧩 (25:30) — Letting go of exceptionalism and questioning why “average” feels like a failure

👩‍👧 (29:30) — Motherhood, ambition, and the impossible standard of doing everything perfectly

🌍 (33:30) — Pandemic life, shrinking worlds, and the unexpected freedom of “only enough”

💭 (36:30) — Redefining ambition, identity, and self-worth beyond productivity

🛋️ (38:30) — What rest really looks like in midlife (and why modeling it matters)

🌱 (41:00) — Life after ambition: choosing contentment, presence, and a different definition of success

___________________________

🪩 Find Amil on Instagram at @amilniazi and order your own copy of Life After Ambition here 

🥽 Dive into the Millennial Career Crisis discussion on Instagram: @janelabrahami 

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

_____________________

keywords: midlife reinvention, millennial burnout, life after ambition, redefining success, hustle culture recovery, burnout and motherhood, working mom identity, letting go of exceptionalism, the millennial career crisis, ambition vs fulfillment, productivity and self-worth, midlife identity shift, redefining ambition in midlife, choosing “good enough,” contentment over achievement

Perimenopause is the season we were warned about—but no one really prepared us for what it actually feels like to live in it. In this episode of Found at 40, I start with my friend Carrie Youell, talking honestly about what it’s like to be in the thick of perimenopause—brain fog, mood swings, sleep issues, and that unsettling feeling of not quite recognizing yourself anymore. Then, we bring in expert insight with Dr. Jackie Piasta, a Doctor of Nursing Practice and board-certified women’s health nurse practitioner, for a listener Q&A that breaks down what’s happening hormonally, what’s normal, and what actually helps. This episode is about validation, clarity, and realizing you’re not crazy—you’re just in your 40s.

Episode Timeline

• (0:00) 🎢 The perimenopause plot twist we were warned about—and didn’t fully understand
• (4:00) 🧠 Brain fog, chin hair, and the early signs something feels “off”
• (8:00) 😵‍💫 Emotional whiplash, rage moments, and not feeling like yourself
• (13:00) 😴 Sleep issues, night sweats, and why exhaustion hits differently in your 40s
• (18:00) 🎭 Identity, marriage, motherhood, and how perimenopause affects relationships
• (23:00) 🔥 Hot flashes vs. internal overheating—and how symptoms really show up
• (27:00) 🧬 Hormones, bloodwork, testosterone, and navigating confusing lab results
• (31:00) 💬 Feeling dismissed by doctors and learning to advocate for yourself

Expert Q&A with Dr. Jackie Piasta

• (35:00) 🎙️ Introducing Dr. Jackie Piasta + why perimenopause is having a cultural moment
• (38:00) 🩺 How do you actually know if you’re in perimenopause—and not dealing with something else?
• (42:00) 🧪 Why isn’t there a clear test for perimenopause?
• (46:00) 🩻 Which doctors should women have in their healthcare lineup after 40?
• (50:00) 🧍‍♀️ What’s causing hair loss in perimenopause—and what actually helps?
• (55:00) 💊 When is hormone replacement therapy (HRT) the right next step?
• (1:00:00) 💡 What women in their 40s should know now to make this season easier later

Find Dr. Jackie Piasta on Instagram at @jackiep_gynnp or at https://www.mymonarchhealthco.com/

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords:

Perimenopause, perimenopause symptoms, signs of perimenopause, perimenopause in your 40s, hormone imbalance in women, brain fog in perimenopause, mood swings in midlife, anxiety and perimenopause, sleep problems in perimenopause, hot flashes and night sweats, hair loss in perimenopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), when to start HRT, women’s health after 40, feeling like yourself again in midlife, Dr. Mary Claire Haver, Leanne Morgan, We Do Not Care Club

What actually changes when you stop letting life happen to you? Chrissi and Sarah break down the midlife pivots that reshaped their year—two highs, one low, and what they’re intentionally carrying forward. From friendship shifts and family dynamics to career moves, travel tradeoffs, and very realistic intentions for what’s next, this episode is a look at 2025 and some plans for next year. If you’re navigating your 40s and realizing growth doesn’t always look Instagram-worthy, you’ll feel seen.

🧳 (0:00) Holiday survival mode, travel boundaries, and choosing rest over chaos

🎭 (2:00) A public parenting moment that sparks a bigger conversation about partnership and mental load

🔥 (5:00) Being “nice” vs. being honest—and why resentment loves silence

🎤 (7:00) A low-effort microphone drop-off becomes an unexpectedly perfect metaphor

🎓 (10:00) Going back to school in your 40s and proving you can still do hard things

🧠 (13:00) Growth without answers: why finding language for your feelings matters

🚚 (15:00) Big midlife moves and choosing intention over autopilot

✈️ (18:00) Travel wins, financial tradeoffs, and what meaningful experiences actually cost

⚖️ (23:00) Parenting through change and the emotional weight of doing the right thing

🏋️ (25:00) Aging, health, and rebuilding routines when old systems fall apart

🧺 (27:00) Intentions, not resolutions: laundry, birthdays, and realistic habits

💬 (32:00) Listener questions on friendship fallouts, co-parenting after divorce, sibling dynamics, and when to stop chasing one-sided relationships

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: midlife pivots, navigating your 40s, personal growth after 40, life changes in your 40s, friendship changes in midlife, family dynamics after divorce, going back to school in your 40s, career change later in life, co-parenting after divorce, adult friendship boundaries, midlife self reflection, intentional living in your 40s, realistic goals after 40, redefining success in midlife, personal growth podcast for women

One day you realize no one else is making the magic anymore — it’s you.

No one handed you a manual, but suddenly you’re in charge of the traditions, the holidays, and the emotional tone of your home. In this episode, we dig into family rituals, midlife motherhood, and why the moments that matter most rarely look impressive. This is about connection over performance — and how small, ordinary choices quietly shape the culture of a family.

🎬 (0:00) — Realizing we’re officially older than the moms in Christmas movies — and questioning when that happened

🕯️ (2:00) — Becoming the grown-ups: holiday pressure, emotional labor, and making the magic happen

🎄 (4:00) — Christmas chaos, decorating expectations, and the lengths moms go to for “the magic”

😂 (7:00) — Holiday mishaps, family disasters, and why the messiest moments become the memories

🧠 (11:00) — Why family traditions and rituals matter more than we think (and what research actually shows)

🏠 (15:00) — Small rituals that create a welcoming home — without perfection or Pinterest

🎶 (18:00) — Music, lighting, scent, and the sensory details that make a house feel like home

👩‍👧 (21:00) — Greeting kids (and their friends) in a way that builds belonging and emotional safety

📦 (23:00) — The hidden mental load of holidays, school themes, Amazon culture, and modern parenting

🍕 (35:00) — The one weekly family ritual linked to 40% lower anxiety and depression in teenagers

🍽️ (38:00) — Family dinners, no phones, and how everyday conversations build emotional intelligence

❤️ (42:00) — Traditions that strengthen sibling bonds, gratitude, and self-worth

✨ (44:00) — What we hope our kids remember about the homes we’re creating — and why it’s simpler than we think

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

family traditions, family rituals, midlife motherhood, parenting in your 40s, holiday stress for parents, emotional labor of motherhood, creating family culture, weekly family rituals, family dinner benefits, teen mental health and family connection, parenting teenagers, connection over perfection, building a welcoming home, family bonding activities, raising emotionally healthy kids

Money shows up in every corner of midlife—our marriages, our stress, our parenting, our power, and our future—but most of us were raised not to talk about it at all. In this powerful midlife money and relationships episode, Chrissi sits down with lawyer and author Heather Boneparth, whose new book Money Together lands at the intersection of love, money, relationships, and partnership. From childhood money stories to mental load, caregiving, and financial power, they explore what it really takes to build a strong financial partnership in midlife. And yes—whether you’re dreaming of “the yacht life under chopper blades” straight out of Taylor Swift’s “Wi$h L$st,” just wanting a driveway with a basketball hoop and some financial peace of mind, this conversation proves money is never just about money. This episode isn’t about spreadsheets—it’s about rewriting your relationship with money, your partner, and yourself. 

(0:00) 🧠 The mental load that breaks relationships – Why invisible labor is often the real source of money tension

(3:00) 💬 Why we don’t talk about money – Cultural silence, shame, and where our money beliefs actually begin

(7:00) 🌱 Childhood money stories uncovered – How scarcity, privilege, and family dynamics shape adult finances

(11:00) 🧩 “Your story is your story” – Why comparing financial trauma inside relationships causes lasting damage

(15:00) 👶 When life blows up the budget – Parenthood, surprise expenses, and why flexibility matters more than perfect planning

(20:00) 🏡 Redefining the word “provider” – Why caregiving, time, and emotional labor are real financial contributions

(26:00) 💄 Spending guilt & self-worth – Why so many women feel they need permission to spend on themselves

(30:00) 🧺 The division of labor problem – How unequal home workload fuels financial resentment

(35:00) 🗓️ The power of the quarterly money date – How timing, structure, and intention transform money conversations

(40:00) 📊 Stepping into financial power – The three non-negotiables every partner needs to know about their money

(46:00) 🔑 Boundaries, time & personal agency – How knowing what you want changes every financial decision

(50:00) ❤️ Money, love & legacy – Why relationships—not wealth—are the true measure of success

Follow Heather Boneparth at @averagejoelle on Instagram or at https://www.readthejointaccount.com/

Get yourself a copy of Money Together at https://domoneytogether.com/ or anywhere you get your books!

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Midlife motherhood can feel like an identity crisis—your kids are growing, your roles are shifting, and you’re asking, “Who am I now?” In this episode, licensed clinical counselor Ellie Messinger-Adams helps us explore how to rediscover yourself when everything is changing. Together they break down the Motherhood Midlife Crisis—the moment when your kids are growing, your roles are shifting, and the version of you that once felt solid no longer fits. 

We also dig into the anxious mom mind, the relentless mental load, and the emotional overwhelm so many women carry silently. Ellie shares her Identity Confidence Model, a practical framework for getting grounded, nurturing self-trust, and redefining who you are beyond the roles you’ve spent years fulfilling.

If you’re navigating big transitions, feeling disconnected from yourself, or wondering what comes next as your kids need you differently, this episode will remind you that nothing is wrong with you—you’re growing. And you’re not alone.

(0:00) ✨ Welcome to Found at 40 + what the “Motherhood Identity Crisis” really means

(2:00) 🧭 Chrissi’s midlife moment: hitting all the milestones and still wondering, “Who am I?”

(6:00) 🥇 Achievement treadmill, midlife doldrums, and the haunting question of “Now what?”

(8:00) 🧩 Roles vs identity: why “mother,” “wife,” and “daughter” aren’t the whole story

(10:00) 🏗️ The Identity Confidence Model: undeniable truths, grounding, and rebuilding self-trust

(14:00) 🕊️ Facing the empty-nest horizon, future-tripping, and redefining what “presence” looks like

(22:00) 🎨 “I’m a creative”: discovering identity beyond motherhood, wife, and friend

(28:00) 🧠 The anxious mom mind: 20 open tabs, constant mental load, and why letting go feels like failing

(31:00) 🎬 Inside Out 2, joy vs anxiety, and learning to tell your brain, “We’re actually okay”

(36:00) 🌱 Midlife as first-time self-discovery: putting words to who you’ve always been

(44:00) 💔 Listener Q: grieving the version of you who didn’t pursue her dreams & wanting more than “just” wife/mother

(48:00) 🌍 Listener Q: staying calm for your kids when the world feels terrifying + the power of “worry time”

Follow Ellie Messinger-Adams at @ematherapy on Instagram or ematherapy.com

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: motherhood identity crisis, midlife women, mental load, anxious mom mind, rediscovering yourself, empty nest transition, motherhood mental health, identity in motherhood, midlife confidence, personal growth for women

In honor of Thanksgiving week, Chrissi brings Sarah back to feel the feels and realize why today might in fact be the good old days. Complete with a love story to today that brings Chrissi to literal tears, they work on shifting their mindsets to feel more gratitude than before. Not the “I’m grateful for chocolate and Wi-Fi” kind (although, yes, obviously), but the deeper kind that sneaks up on you in ordinary moments — loud kitchens, familiar voices, small acts of kindness, and the realization that one day, you'll miss the chaos you’re currently trying to clean up.

More snippets from this episode? “People are dying, Kim!”, why Sarah is the kinder sister, the moment our dad unintentionally caused a huge meltdown, and why a stranger’s kindness can truly make such a difference. 

This episode may cause some emotional upheaval, but can also change your perspective — exploring why gratitude is less about lists and more about noticing the life you’re already living. No inspirational throw pillows required.

(2:00) Middle school band nights, popcorn emergencies & losing your wallet (while holding it) 🍿

(6:00) Sisters, Diet Coke moments & who’s the “nice sister” at the basketball game 👯‍♀️

(8:00) The Office quote that hits different: “I wish there was a way to know…” 🕰️

(9:00) Letter from your 80-year-old self — emotional perspective shift 💌

(15:00) Being present when life is loud, messy, and nothing like Pinterest 🌾

(17:00) Why normal days, voices, and memories become treasures 🎙️

(20:00) The About Time movie & living days like you chose them 🎬

(27:00) Thankful vs. truly grateful — what Mel Robbins says 🧠

(31:00) Small kindness that changes everything — friends stepping up, tears at the bank & being seen ✨

(32:00) Being someone’s person when life falls apart — without waiting to be asked 💛

(40:00) Gratitude for the past, present & future — even when life isn’t perfect ⏳

(50:00) These messy, loud, imperfect days? They are the good old days 💛

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: Gratitude in everyday life, these are the good old days quote, mindfulness for busy moms, emotional podcast episode about motherhood, living in the moment with your kids, motherhood after 40, women over 40 life perspective, elder millennial motherhood, parenting as an elder millennial, midlife reflection for women, appreciating motherhood moments, heartfelt gratitude stories, emotional podcast for women, real life sister conversations, learning to slow down and be present.

Why do so many women in their 40s feel flat, lost, or “meh”—even when life looks full on the outside? In this powerful conversation, Chrissi and Allison Egidi unpack how midlife identity shifts, joy droughts, hormones, resentment, and chronic responsibility can quietly drain our sense of self. They explore why hobbies aren’t just “fun”—they are scientifically proven tools for regulating emotions, rebuilding identity, and feeling alive again. This isn’t a conversation about tennis—it’s a conversation about you.

(00:00) Hobbies, endorphins, and why joy lifts every area of your life 🎬
(3:00) When hobbies became productivity, performance, and side hustle pressure 💼
(5:30) The midlife identity question: “Where did I go?” 🪞
(8:00) Why midlife can feel flat, boring, and emotionally muted (the science) 🧠
(10:45) Novelty, joy, and how hobbies help you feel alive again ✨
(13:15) Guilt, resentment, and the emotional weight of not having something that’s yours 😤
(16:30) Allison’s tennis story: rediscovering joy, identity, and confidence 🎾
(20:00) Showing up when you don’t feel like it—motivation, quitting, and resilience 💪
(24:00) Midlife bodies, hormones, perimenopause & why our 40-year-old joints need warmups 🏃‍♀️
(28:30) Why women (especially moms) put themselves last—and how to rewrite that story 🚫👩‍👧
(33:00) The psychology of fun: Why joy isn’t selfish—it’s essential for identity 🥳
(37:30) You don’t have to be good at it—permission to play for joy, not mastery 🎨
(41:30) How hobbies reduce stress, resentment, and even improve relationships ❤️
(45:30) Choosing a hobby: practical starting points, ideas, and how to make it a real habit 🎯📅

(55:00) Final rapid-fire, biggest lessons, and message to women feeling stuck 🌈
(1:00:00) Gentle assignment: schedule your hobby hour & share this with the friend who needs it 💌

💤 Follow Allison Egidi at @sleepandwellnesscoach and listen to her podcast “How Long ‘Til Bedtime?”

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: lost in my 40s, how to find myself again, hobbies for women in midlife, reclaiming identity after motherhood, midlife purpose and joy, how to feel alive again in my 40s, midlife identity crisis, mom burnout and resentment, how hobbies improve mental health, finding joy and purpose in midlife, emotional load of motherhood, perimenopause and mood changes, women rediscovering themselves, making time for myself as a mom, why fun is important for adults, how to start a hobby in your 40s, midlife happiness mindset, self-discovery in midlife, guilt-free self-care for women, women choosing themselves again.