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The recovery process, just as any process of personal growth, is in large part one of changing perspective. In this episode I cover the perspective shift where we move from "I HAVE to _" to "I GET to _." In other words, we shift to thinking about these new behavior changes from being burdens to being privileges.

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For anyone who is trying to grow and change, including those in recovery, willingness is key. If you're willing to make changes, even if you'd don't really want to, that can be enough. Learn how to leverage the power of your willingness into action in this episode.

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I share several tips for how to say no. I also share several scripts - specific words and phrases you can use in various situations to set boundaries with others. These include scripts for saying "no" to friends, family, bosses and clients.

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If you decide that things that happen around you almost always mean something negative, you might be "making things mean things that they don't." In this episode I give a really good example of how I used to do that, and how recovery helped me to seek clarity when I'm unclear, and to challenge my perspective. This has led to an enormous amount of relief in my life.

Check out the “Feelings, Not Fixing” bundle of curated content.

This bundle is for people who struggle with emotional discomfort—especially those who avoid their own feelings or feel responsible for fixing others'. If you've been told you're too sensitive, or you learned to disconnect from your emotions to survive, this bundle helps you come back to yourself. It’s especially powerful for people-pleasers, over-givers, and anyone raised in a family where emotions were minimized or punished.

Details here.

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If you've lived a life of chaos and want that to end, this episode is for you! In it you'll learn how to slowly begin to put some structure in your life. This will give you some predictability and consistency, which is the opposite of chaos.

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When negative thoughts continually run through our minds it's like poison in a well. It's impossible to love yourself when the well of your mind is full of poison. Stopping the negative thoughts helps to purify the well, but there's something else you can do that will speed up the process to purify that well. Learn how to do that on this episode. 

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I didn't even know I was a people-pleaser, I thought I was nice. It turns out people-pleasing isn't nice, it's dishonest and manipulative. Ugh! But there's hope! I talk about how I got over my people-pleasing ways and you can too. You can learn to be honest about what you really think and feel, and to communicate directly about those things without manipulating.

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We hide by isolating and telling lies. We're afraid to show our flaws. But being flawed is just part of being human. Once you can accept this in yourself, it's easier to accept it in others as well. This episode will help you realize that you're not just flawed, you're flawsome!!

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Everyone wants their relationships to be a safe harbor. To help you achieve that, I borrow nine rules from David J. Lieberman as a way to structure this episode. I then share what I've learned about each rule from my recovery to illustrate them. The rules include showing enthusiasm when greeting the person, being respectful, supportive and appreciative, giving the benefit of the doubt, pausing when agitated, talking about what's bothering you and sharing yourself with the other person.

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Control is an issue for people in recovery, and right now it's probably a concern for just about everyone given COVID-19. Covey's model of Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Control is used to give specific examples of how you can take the focus off of the Circle of Concern and put it on the Circle of Control to ease your anxiety.

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