This week, the New Zealand rugby union say it will cancel senior rugby matches for a weekend if there are any more incidents of serious abuse directed towards referees.

And I say - good on them. The Horowhenua Kapiti Rugby Football Union said recent events had seen refs targeted with verbal threats, threats of physical harm - including of being stabbed - and 'actual physical abuse'.

We don’t put up with verbal or physical abuse or intimidation in our homes or in our work places - why would we put up with it in a public space, in front of families watching a game of sport?

This isn’t a new problem. But is it getting worse, or are we just now fed up enough to do something about it Weekend Sport’s Jason Pine told me yesterday it’s probably a bit of both. 

Back in March, a NZ survey released by Aktive, the Regional Sports Trust for the wider Auckland region, found that more than 60 percent of survey participants had witnessed inappropriate behaviour at least once or twice a season. And get this - most of this was verbal abuse directed at children. 

It also found that referees and volunteers were subjected to verbal abuse.

In my view this is an unhealthy extension of the rowdy Kiwi sidelines filled with subjective parents, one eyed supporters, self-proclaimed experts, passionate school pits and plenty of encouragement, banter and, increasingly, abuse.  

I’ve got an easy fix. Not everyone will like the idea. You may think it’s no fun. You may ask what’s the point of standing in miserable winter weather watching your kid if you can’t be part of it. But here's the idea - quieten down on the sideline, think of kids' sport as an opportunity to show them positivity rather than aggression, and maybe this will spread across sport in general 

I have some experience with this. So, I have always been vocal from the sideline. I’ve thought of it as a sign of interest in my kids and as encouragement. When I stood on the field for my first foray into coaching and refing 8-year-old's football, I was absolutely shocked at what I heard.  

Children can’t hear specific instructions because generally parents all yell at the same time, when the attack is threatening and the defence is scrambling. All they hear is noise. Loud aggressive, instructional noises - then either noises of disappointment or celebration. They also can’t hear each other, or the ref.  

It’s overwhelming, and ever since that experience I’ve been a fan of only positive noises - claps and cheers when players do well. Because children and teens all know when they didn’t play well. They don’t need to be told.  

So, it was great to see more than 1000 players aged between 5 and 10 from 10 Hawke’s Bay clubs took part in the Unison Junior Festival yesterday. The football event was all about positive vibes, as it aimed to highlight the importance of constructive and supportive sideline behaviour from parents and supporters.  

It’s just one of many campaigns out there to create a more supportive environment for people involved in sport. Top New Zealand rugby ref and victim of horrible abuse, Ben O'Keefe, is now an ambassador for 'Love Their Game', launched by Aktive to remind people that the game belongs to those playing, refereeing, coaching and managing, and not those on the sideline. 

Hopefully these types of programmes will mean more quality experiences for those involved in sport, from the players to the volunteers.  

And can I suggest that if you don’t like the way a team is managed, coached or refereed, then feel free to step up and become a volunteer yourself, rather than yelling from the sidelines. 

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