Freedom from Attachment

Many people fall into a mental trap when working on themselves. They think, “If I know it, I can change it.” Yes, self-awareness is critical because you can’t change what you’re not aware of, but nothing really changes if it stays at the level of the intellect. When you have a mental understanding, that information fits within your existing belief system, becoming a strategy. Many of us in insecurely attached relationships tend to take this new information and apply it to the object of our desire. We don’t necessarily apply it to ourselves emotionally.

Change comes from feeling, not thinking. It’s like listening to this podcast. Either you’re going to take an emotional risk or you’re going to say, “Oh, yes, I get it. That makes sense! Maybe I’ll try that later when it’s safe.” Unfortunately waiting for “safe” means waiting forever. If you don’t embrace the fear and discomfort that comes with emotional risk, you’re just playing a game of mental ping pong. Intellectualizing your life leads to repeating the same things over and over. In an insecurely attached relationship you will go over the same dynamic when you intellectualize or strategize change. And change is an illusion when it remains in someone else’s hands… not your own.

Many of us are willing to take mental risks, but not emotional ones. So what’s an emotional risk? Speaking your truth; showing the real you; expressing what you’ve been repressing; detaching from outcomes. The greatest job, relationship, etc. won’t matter if you mentally manage your life. That isn’t where fulfillment stems from. If you do it emotionally, it will be different.

Many people fall into a mental trap when working on themselves. They think, “If I know it, I can change it.” Yes, self-awareness is critical because you can’t change what you’re not aware of, but nothing really changes if it stays at the level of the intellect. When you have a mental understanding, that information fits within your existing belief system, becoming a strategy. Many of us in insecurely attached relationships tend to take this new information and apply it to the object of our desire. We don’t necessarily apply it to ourselves emotionally.

Change comes from feeling, not thinking. It’s like listening to this podcast. Either you’re going to take an emotional risk or you’re going to say, “Oh, yes, I get it. That makes sense! Maybe I’ll try that later when it’s safe.” Unfortunately waiting for “safe” means waiting forever. If you don’t embrace the fear and discomfort that comes with emotional risk, you’re just playing a game of mental ping pong. Intellectualizing your life leads to repeating the same things over and over. In an insecurely attached relationship you will go over the same dynamic when you intellectualize or strategize change. And change is an illusion when it remains in someone else’s hands… not your own.

Many of us are willing to take mental risks, but not emotional ones. So what’s an emotional risk? Speaking your truth; showing the real you; expressing what you’ve been repressing; detaching from outcomes. The greatest job, relationship, etc. won’t matter if you mentally manage your life. That isn’t where fulfillment stems from. If you do it emotionally, it will be different.

Have you ever said “I can’t stand it anymore” about your relationship? Maybe it’s because your partner does X or doesn’t do X. You don’t feel in control and your needs aren’t being met. You have one foot out the door… but you don’t leave and you don’t commit to making it work. You think your partner is the problem, yet hope one day he/she will wake up and everything will be better. You’re stuck and miserable.

You might think leaving is the answer, but I actually suggest something different. Instead of blaming your mate for all the problems and then storming out the door, stay. Dig both feet in and get to the root of your problems. Not your partner’s problems, YOUR problems. It’s easier to point the finger at someone else than take personal responsibility, but this is a chance to learn and grow. Look at what’s really going on with you. What beliefs are operating? Do you feel unworthy? Unlovable?

Get past all the complaining about your situation and connect with yourself emotionally. Really see your partner for who he/she is and decide if this relationship is something you truly want. You have to fully commit to riding the wave of emotions in order to learn about yourself and what you want. Even if you do leave in the end, you’ll have a better understanding of your role and how you showed up. That’s growth you can take into your next relationship, where you’ll have a greater chance at happiness.

I received a question about this podcast and the desire to say "My partner is the issue".....so I have answered this statement on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7esqULpNXDo Check it out! And if you have questions, please email [email protected]

Have you ever said “I can’t stand it anymore” about your relationship? Maybe it’s because your partner does X or doesn’t do X. You don’t feel in control and your needs aren’t being met. You have one foot out the door… but you don’t leave and you don’t commit to making it work. You think your partner is the problem, yet hope one day he/she will wake up and everything will be better. You’re stuck and miserable.

You might think leaving is the answer, but I actually suggest something different. Instead of blaming your mate for all the problems and then storming out the door, stay. Dig both feet in and get to the root of your problems. Not your partner’s problems, YOUR problems. It’s easier to point the finger at someone else than take personal responsibility, but this is a chance to learn and grow. Look at what’s really going on with you. What beliefs are operating? Do you feel unworthy? Unlovable?

Get past all the complaining about your situation and connect with yourself emotionally. Really see your partner for who he/she is and decide if this relationship is something you truly want. You have to fully commit to riding the wave of emotions in order to learn about yourself and what you want. Even if you do leave in the end, you’ll have a better understanding of your role and how you showed up. That’s growth you can take into your next relationship, where you’ll have a greater chance at happiness.

I received a question about this podcast and the desire to say "My partner is the issue".....so I have answered this statement on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7esqULpNXDo Check it out! And if you have questions, please email [email protected]

Have you ever said “I can’t stand it anymore” about your relationship? Maybe it’s because your partner does X or doesn’t do X. You don’t feel in control and your needs aren’t being met. You have one foot out the door… but you don’t leave and you don’t commit to making it work. You think your partner is the problem, yet hope one day he/she will wake up and everything will be better. You’re stuck and miserable.

You might think leaving is the answer, but I actually suggest something different. Instead of blaming your mate for all the problems and then storming out the door, stay. Dig both feet in and get to the root of your problems. Not your partner’s problems, YOUR problems. It’s easier to point the finger at someone else than take personal responsibility, but this is a chance to learn and grow. Look at what’s really going on with you. What beliefs are operating? Do you feel unworthy? Unlovable?

Get past all the complaining about your situation and connect with yourself emotionally. Really see your partner for who he/she is and decide if this relationship is something you truly want. You have to fully commit to riding the wave of emotions in order to learn about yourself and what you want. Even if you do leave in the end, you’ll have a better understanding of your role and how you showed up. That’s growth you can take into your next relationship, where you’ll have a greater chance at happiness.

I received a question about this podcast and the desire to say "My partner is the issue".....so I have answered this statement on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7esqULpNXDo Check it out! And if you have questions, please email [email protected]

Rita Hovakimian is a Business Coach and Prosperity Mentor, helping thousands of entrepreneurs identify and achieve their professional goals for more than 20 years. Her practical business strategies combine with keen intuition to funnel energy and vision into a clear action plan. She understands the path to success involves our relationship with money, and how we charge for our services correlates to our self-worth, so she works with 7 Key Practices for Attracting Prosperity. Rita offers one-on-one personalized coaching, group coaching and hosts transformative live events. She is always engaged in growth and development, both personally and professionally, and has been meditating for 16 years.

Join me as I talk with Rita about these 7 Key Practices, and how you can apply them to your life. While created for the attraction of financial prosperity, they can be applied to any area of your life where you want to attract abundance… from work to relationships. As a special bonus, Rita has put together the 7 Key Practices in a PDF, which can be download for free at www.tracycrossley.com/rita. For more about Rita, visit her website at www.inspiringsuccess.com.

Rita Hovakimian is a Business Coach and Prosperity Mentor, helping thousands of entrepreneurs identify and achieve their professional goals for more than 20 years. Her practical business strategies combine with keen intuition to funnel energy and vision into a clear action plan. She understands the path to success involves our relationship with money, and how we charge for our services correlates to our self-worth, so she works with 7 Key Practices for Attracting Prosperity. Rita offers one-on-one personalized coaching, group coaching and hosts transformative live events. She is always engaged in growth and development, both personally and professionally, and has been meditating for 16 years.

Join me as I talk with Rita about these 7 Key Practices, and how you can apply them to your life. While created for the attraction of financial prosperity, they can be applied to any area of your life where you want to attract abundance… from work to relationships. As a special bonus, Rita has put together the 7 Key Practices in a PDF, which can be download for free at www.tracycrossley.com/rita. For more about Rita, visit her website at www.inspiringsuccess.com.

Rita Hovakimian is a Business Coach and Prosperity Mentor, helping thousands of entrepreneurs identify and achieve their professional goals for more than 20 years. Her practical business strategies combine with keen intuition to funnel energy and vision into a clear action plan. She understands the path to success involves our relationship with money, and how we charge for our services correlates to our self-worth, so she works with 7 Key Practices for Attracting Prosperity. Rita offers one-on-one personalized coaching, group coaching and hosts transformative live events. She is always engaged in growth and development, both personally and professionally, and has been meditating for 16 years.

Join me as I talk with Rita about these 7 Key Practices, and how you can apply them to your life. While created for the attraction of financial prosperity, they can be applied to any area of your life where you want to attract abundance… from work to relationships. As a special bonus, Rita has put together the 7 Key Practices in a PDF, which can be download for free at www.tracycrossley.com/rita. For more about Rita, visit her website at www.inspiringsuccess.com.

Most people don’t say it out loud, or even recognize why they hold themselves back from personal growth… but sometimes they fear losing their partner. When people come to me for help, one of the first questions they ask is if they can do this work and still stay with their partner. Even if they want to leave because the relationship is full of dysfunction, they are deeply attached and looking for ways around it.

Many are stuck in scarcity, thinking there won’t be another person to love them. It’s safer to stay. Or they fear abandonment, with anxiety creeping up and panic at the back of their throat. The threat of being abandoned keeps them from doing anything to rock the boat, staying stuck. When in this place, people don’t know what they would do without their partner; they can’t imagine it. Their focus is on maintaining control over the current situation to keep it all the same… even though they want change. Change is HARD. It means letting go of outcomes and allowing yourself to be who you authentically are. It means letting the chips fall where they may (not manipulating) and feeling good doing it. Join me to learn more about personal growth when in an attached relationship.

Most people don’t say it out loud, or even recognize why they hold themselves back from personal growth… but sometimes they fear losing their partner. When people come to me for help, one of the first questions they ask is if they can do this work and still stay with their partner. Even if they want to leave because the relationship is full of dysfunction, they are deeply attached and looking for ways around it.

Many are stuck in scarcity, thinking there won’t be another person to love them. It’s safer to stay. Or they fear abandonment, with anxiety creeping up and panic at the back of their throat. The threat of being abandoned keeps them from doing anything to rock the boat, staying stuck. When in this place, people don’t know what they would do without their partner; they can’t imagine it. Their focus is on maintaining control over the current situation to keep it all the same… even though they want change. Change is HARD. It means letting go of outcomes and allowing yourself to be who you authentically are. It means letting the chips fall where they may (not manipulating) and feeling good doing it. Join me to learn more about personal growth when in an attached relationship.