Most people don’t say it out loud, or even recognize why they hold themselves back from personal growth… but sometimes they fear losing their partner. When people come to me for help, one of the first questions they ask is if they can do this work and still stay with their partner. Even if they want to leave because the relationship is full of dysfunction, they are deeply attached and looking for ways around it.
Many are stuck in scarcity, thinking there won’t be another person to love them. It’s safer to stay. Or they fear abandonment, with anxiety creeping up and panic at the back of their throat. The threat of being abandoned keeps them from doing anything to rock the boat, staying stuck. When in this place, people don’t know what they would do without their partner; they can’t imagine it. Their focus is on maintaining control over the current situation to keep it all the same… even though they want change. Change is HARD. It means letting go of outcomes and allowing yourself to be who you authentically are. It means letting the chips fall where they may (not manipulating) and feeling good doing it. Join me to learn more about personal growth when in an attached relationship.