Freedom from Attachment

How often do you feel that deep need for someone to text or call you—some acknowledgment they’re thinking of you? When you have that intense desire to hear from somebody, maybe spending hours thinking about them, they become your Band-Aid. How so? Look at what happens when you DO hear from them. Do all the muscles in your body become momentarily relaxed? Maybe you even feel a kind of rush or euphoria. Suddenly you feel back in control (although it’s a false sense of control). This feeling translates to being in a comfort zone where you’re no longer on edge.

Band-Aids are what we use to avoid feel disappointment, pain or other unwanted emotions. Often these feelings overwhelmed us as kids so we developed a pattern to blunt them in order to get through life. As an adult, these early pains can be reawakened, with an emptiness screaming inside when we are in an attached relationship. We feel like we’re being emotionally abandoned all over again so we need our Band-Aid to momentarily feel better. Learn how this just perpetuates the cycle and keeps us more attached; learn how to gently remove the Band-Aid.

How often do you feel that deep need for someone to text or call you—some acknowledgment they’re thinking of you? When you have that intense desire to hear from somebody, maybe spending hours thinking about them, they become your Band-Aid. How so? Look at what happens when you DO hear from them. Do all the muscles in your body become momentarily relaxed? Maybe you even feel a kind of rush or euphoria. Suddenly you feel back in control (although it’s a false sense of control). This feeling translates to being in a comfort zone where you’re no longer on edge.

Band-Aids are what we use to avoid feel disappointment, pain or other unwanted emotions. Often these feelings overwhelmed us as kids so we developed a pattern to blunt them in order to get through life. As an adult, these early pains can be reawakened, with an emptiness screaming inside when we are in an attached relationship. We feel like we’re being emotionally abandoned all over again so we need our Band-Aid to momentarily feel better. Learn how this just perpetuates the cycle and keeps us more attached; learn how to gently remove the Band-Aid.

I find it fascinating when people think they can tell someone to “get over it” or “move on” and actually think it will work. It’s ultimately an act of superiority (“What’s wrong with you that you can’t get past this?”), which is triggered by an underlying insecurity. Maybe that person struggles with their own ability to deal with disappointment, so they make themselves feel better by putting down another person’s coping mechanism. We all have insecurities based on our belief systems. Belittling or shaming does nothing to “convince” them your way of seeing or doing things is better, so when you catch yourself doing this, STOP.

Everything in life is seen through our own lens. This perception is based on our beliefs, which is how we form opinions. It’s all subjective and there is no absolute right or wrong. The same situation can be viewed completely differently based on each person’s life experiences, so it’s futile to think you can make someone see things your way. This can be very difficult for people to accept because we’re so attached to our way of thinking… it’s part of who we are. But that resistance keeps us stuck and frustrated. Nothing new can get in, so we continue to look at life through our own confirmation bias, enforcing our limited perceptions which support our limited opinions and maintain our limited view of life.

Learn how to accept life as it is, and stop trying to change the perceptions, opinions and actions of others. It’s a losing battle.

I find it fascinating when people think they can tell someone to “get over it” or “move on” and actually think it will work. It’s ultimately an act of superiority (“What’s wrong with you that you can’t get past this?”), which is triggered by an underlying insecurity. Maybe that person struggles with their own ability to deal with disappointment, so they make themselves feel better by putting down another person’s coping mechanism. We all have insecurities based on our belief systems. Belittling or shaming does nothing to “convince” them your way of seeing or doing things is better, so when you catch yourself doing this, STOP.

Everything in life is seen through our own lens. This perception is based on our beliefs, which is how we form opinions. It’s all subjective and there is no absolute right or wrong. The same situation can be viewed completely differently based on each person’s life experiences, so it’s futile to think you can make someone see things your way. This can be very difficult for people to accept because we’re so attached to our way of thinking… it’s part of who we are. But that resistance keeps us stuck and frustrated. Nothing new can get in, so we continue to look at life through our own confirmation bias, enforcing our limited perceptions which support our limited opinions and maintain our limited view of life.

Learn how to accept life as it is, and stop trying to change the perceptions, opinions and actions of others. It’s a losing battle.

I find it fascinating when people think they can tell someone to “get over it” or “move on” and actually think it will work. It’s ultimately an act of superiority (“What’s wrong with you that you can’t get past this?”), which is triggered by an underlying insecurity. Maybe that person struggles with their own ability to deal with disappointment, so they make themselves feel better by putting down another person’s coping mechanism. We all have insecurities based on our belief systems. Belittling or shaming does nothing to “convince” them your way of seeing or doing things is better, so when you catch yourself doing this, STOP.

Everything in life is seen through our own lens. This perception is based on our beliefs, which is how we form opinions. It’s all subjective and there is no absolute right or wrong. The same situation can be viewed completely differently based on each person’s life experiences, so it’s futile to think you can make someone see things your way. This can be very difficult for people to accept because we’re so attached to our way of thinking… it’s part of who we are. But that resistance keeps us stuck and frustrated. Nothing new can get in, so we continue to look at life through our own confirmation bias, enforcing our limited perceptions which support our limited opinions and maintain our limited view of life.

Learn how to accept life as it is, and stop trying to change the perceptions, opinions and actions of others. It’s a losing battle.

I find it fascinating when people think they can tell someone to “get over it” or “move on” and actually think it will work. It’s ultimately an act of superiority (“What’s wrong with you that you can’t get past this?”), which is triggered by an underlying insecurity. Maybe that person struggles with their own ability to deal with disappointment, so they make themselves feel better by putting down another person’s coping mechanism. We all have insecurities based on our belief systems. Belittling or shaming does nothing to “convince” them your way of seeing or doing things is better, so when you catch yourself doing this, STOP.

Everything in life is seen through our own lens. This perception is based on our beliefs, which is how we form opinions. It’s all subjective and there is no absolute right or wrong. The same situation can be viewed completely differently based on each person’s life experiences, so it’s futile to think you can make someone see things your way. This can be very difficult for people to accept because we’re so attached to our way of thinking… it’s part of who we are. But that resistance keeps us stuck and frustrated. Nothing new can get in, so we continue to look at life through our own confirmation bias, enforcing our limited perceptions which support our limited opinions and maintain our limited view of life.

Learn how to accept life as it is, and stop trying to change the perceptions, opinions and actions of others. It’s a losing battle.

I find it fascinating when people think they can tell someone to “get over it” or “move on” and actually think it will work. It’s ultimately an act of superiority (“What’s wrong with you that you can’t get past this?”), which is triggered by an underlying insecurity. Maybe that person struggles with their own ability to deal with disappointment, so they make themselves feel better by putting down another person’s coping mechanism. We all have insecurities based on our belief systems. Belittling or shaming does nothing to “convince” them your way of seeing or doing things is better, so when you catch yourself doing this, STOP.

Everything in life is seen through our own lens. This perception is based on our beliefs, which is how we form opinions. It’s all subjective and there is no absolute right or wrong. The same situation can be viewed completely differently based on each person’s life experiences, so it’s futile to think you can make someone see things your way. This can be very difficult for people to accept because we’re so attached to our way of thinking… it’s part of who we are. But that resistance keeps us stuck and frustrated. Nothing new can get in, so we continue to look at life through our own confirmation bias, enforcing our limited perceptions which support our limited opinions and maintain our limited view of life.

Learn how to accept life as it is, and stop trying to change the perceptions, opinions and actions of others. It’s a losing battle.

I used to believe I had to sneak up on love. I thought I had to put my demands out there, yet act stealth, like I wasn’t demanding. I was trying to “get” love from someone who did not want to give it, and then I would blame them when it didn’t work (even though I was acting like I didn’t want anything). Craziness, right?

There is an intensity to this game, and as much as you try to shove it down or make it disappear, it doesn’t go away… so you try to be sneaky in your attempts to get what you want. But you actually end up acting the opposite of subtle or stealth because your feelings take over and run the show. When someone doesn’t give us what we want, we feel like we need to steal it. Listen in to learn why love is something you HAVE, not something you TAKE. There’s a big difference.

I used to believe I had to sneak up on love. I thought I had to put my demands out there, yet act stealth, like I wasn’t demanding. I was trying to “get” love from someone who did not want to give it, and then I would blame them when it didn’t work (even though I was acting like I didn’t want anything). Craziness, right?

There is an intensity to this game, and as much as you try to shove it down or make it disappear, it doesn’t go away… so you try to be sneaky in your attempts to get what you want. But you actually end up acting the opposite of subtle or stealth because your feelings take over and run the show. When someone doesn’t give us what we want, we feel like we need to steal it. Listen in to learn why love is something you HAVE, not something you TAKE. There’s a big difference.

I used to believe I had to sneak up on love. I thought I had to put my demands out there, yet act stealth, like I wasn’t demanding. I was trying to “get” love from someone who did not want to give it, and then I would blame them when it didn’t work (even though I was acting like I didn’t want anything). Craziness, right?

There is an intensity to this game, and as much as you try to shove it down or make it disappear, it doesn’t go away… so you try to be sneaky in your attempts to get what you want. But you actually end up acting the opposite of subtle or stealth because your feelings take over and run the show. When someone doesn’t give us what we want, we feel like we need to steal it. Listen in to learn why love is something you HAVE, not something you TAKE. There’s a big difference.