We overachievers tend to put a lot of effort into everything we do, holding tightly to the outcome without even knowing why. Meaning, if I work hard enough, I can turn that perfect picture in my head of the “right way” to live into reality. Living a life of ease and fulfillment is actually difficult for many of us because we’re so stuck on the outcome… whether it’s validation or a Band-Aid for loneliness or financial success.

We turn easy into hard. So how do you flip that around? Stop forcing everything; look at what you’re actually trying to achieve and WHY. A lot of us say we want a happy relationship or successful business or a promotion at work, but do we know WHY we want those things? We need to understand our motivation, otherwise we’re working hard toward a fulfillment that never comes. Look at where you feel you owe someone for something. That focus on the external is why you’re left feeling empty when you hit your goals, not understanding why having the “perfect” job doesn’t actually bring happiness. You’re working your ass off toward something you may not even truly want… something that is the opposite of your true desire. But you keep trudging along thinking hard work equals reward, never mind the fact that you’re working toward something that doesn’t fulfill you emotionally or spiritually. Tune in to find out why understanding what you want is so important, and how that leads to creating more ease in your life.

We overachievers tend to put a lot of effort into everything we do, holding tightly to the outcome without even knowing why. Meaning, if I work hard enough, I can turn that perfect picture in my head of the “right way” to live into reality. Living a life of ease and fulfillment is actually difficult for many of us because we’re so stuck on the outcome… whether it’s validation or a Band-Aid for loneliness or financial success.

We turn easy into hard. So how do you flip that around? Stop forcing everything; look at what you’re actually trying to achieve and WHY. A lot of us say we want a happy relationship or successful business or a promotion at work, but do we know WHY we want those things? We need to understand our motivation, otherwise we’re working hard toward a fulfillment that never comes. Look at where you feel you owe someone for something. That focus on the external is why you’re left feeling empty when you hit your goals, not understanding why having the “perfect” job doesn’t actually bring happiness. You’re working your ass off toward something you may not even truly want… something that is the opposite of your true desire. But you keep trudging along thinking hard work equals reward, never mind the fact that you’re working toward something that doesn’t fulfill you emotionally or spiritually. Tune in to find out why understanding what you want is so important, and how that leads to creating more ease in your life.

We overachievers tend to put a lot of effort into everything we do, holding tightly to the outcome without even knowing why. Meaning, if I work hard enough, I can turn that perfect picture in my head of the “right way” to live into reality. Living a life of ease and fulfillment is actually difficult for many of us because we’re so stuck on the outcome… whether it’s validation or a Band-Aid for loneliness or financial success.

We turn easy into hard. So how do you flip that around? Stop forcing everything; look at what you’re actually trying to achieve and WHY. A lot of us say we want a happy relationship or successful business or a promotion at work, but do we know WHY we want those things? We need to understand our motivation, otherwise we’re working hard toward a fulfillment that never comes. Look at where you feel you owe someone for something. That focus on the external is why you’re left feeling empty when you hit your goals, not understanding why having the “perfect” job doesn’t actually bring happiness. You’re working your ass off toward something you may not even truly want… something that is the opposite of your true desire. But you keep trudging along thinking hard work equals reward, never mind the fact that you’re working toward something that doesn’t fulfill you emotionally or spiritually. Tune in to find out why understanding what you want is so important, and how that leads to creating more ease in your life.

When I started talking more openly about my Insecure Attachment issues, people would ask how I dealt with the fear that comes from being so vulnerable. Opening your heart is not a mental task, and it can’t be approached that way. It comes from seeing yourself as you truly are—flawed, loveable and desiring of love. With an open heart, you’ll also become more aware of your walls, and actually feel them, which is essential if you want to tear them down.

If you’re a smarty pants like me, you can talk yourself in and out of things very quickly. It’s your brain taking over because emotions are scary. But if you do tune into your feelings, they always provide a clue to where and when you shut down. Learn how to quiet your mind and feel empowered even when you’re scared shitless. It’s how you’ll stop feeling helpless toward changing your situation.

When I started talking more openly about my Insecure Attachment issues, people would ask how I dealt with the fear that comes from being so vulnerable. Opening your heart is not a mental task, and it can’t be approached that way. It comes from seeing yourself as you truly are—flawed, loveable and desiring of love. With an open heart, you’ll also become more aware of your walls, and actually feel them, which is essential if you want to tear them down.

If you’re a smarty pants like me, you can talk yourself in and out of things very quickly. It’s your brain taking over because emotions are scary. But if you do tune into your feelings, they always provide a clue to where and when you shut down. Learn how to quiet your mind and feel empowered even when you’re scared shitless. It’s how you’ll stop feeling helpless toward changing your situation.

When I started talking more openly about my Insecure Attachment issues, people would ask how I dealt with the fear that comes from being so vulnerable. Opening your heart is not a mental task, and it can’t be approached that way. It comes from seeing yourself as you truly are—flawed, loveable and desiring of love. With an open heart, you’ll also become more aware of your walls, and actually feel them, which is essential if you want to tear them down.

If you’re a smarty pants like me, you can talk yourself in and out of things very quickly. It’s your brain taking over because emotions are scary. But if you do tune into your feelings, they always provide a clue to where and when you shut down. Learn how to quiet your mind and feel empowered even when you’re scared shitless. It’s how you’ll stop feeling helpless toward changing your situation.

When I started talking more openly about my Insecure Attachment issues, people would ask how I dealt with the fear that comes from being so vulnerable. Opening your heart is not a mental task, and it can’t be approached that way. It comes from seeing yourself as you truly are—flawed, loveable and desiring of love. With an open heart, you’ll also become more aware of your walls, and actually feel them, which is essential if you want to tear them down.

If you’re a smarty pants like me, you can talk yourself in and out of things very quickly. It’s your brain taking over because emotions are scary. But if you do tune into your feelings, they always provide a clue to where and when you shut down. Learn how to quiet your mind and feel empowered even when you’re scared shitless. It’s how you’ll stop feeling helpless toward changing your situation.

When I started talking more openly about my Insecure Attachment issues, people would ask how I dealt with the fear that comes from being so vulnerable. Opening your heart is not a mental task, and it can’t be approached that way. It comes from seeing yourself as you truly are—flawed, loveable and desiring of love. With an open heart, you’ll also become more aware of your walls, and actually feel them, which is essential if you want to tear them down.

If you’re a smarty pants like me, you can talk yourself in and out of things very quickly. It’s your brain taking over because emotions are scary. But if you do tune into your feelings, they always provide a clue to where and when you shut down. Learn how to quiet your mind and feel empowered even when you’re scared shitless. It’s how you’ll stop feeling helpless toward changing your situation.

Is your life a performance? I used to believe that how I acted would bring me what I wanted. Ever watch a movie where a character acts a certain way to achieve a desired outcome, only to have some plot twist that they didn’t see coming? We do this in real life and blame ourselves, thinking we have control of what is outside of us. We don’t.

We feel like we need an award for doing a good job… doing everything we were supposed to. We need someone to fall madly in love with us, validate us, give us a thumbs up. The bottom line is acting makes you believe you are OWED something. It’s a reward that never comes because you’re not emotionally connected to yourself; you’re totally checked out to your own feelings when you’re focused externally.

Acting is the opposite of authenticity, and a healthy connection with another person can’t happen as long as you’re playing a role. Stop looking for an Academy Award and start relaxing into who you are.

Is your life a performance? I used to believe that how I acted would bring me what I wanted. Ever watch a movie where a character acts a certain way to achieve a desired outcome, only to have some plot twist that they didn’t see coming? We do this in real life and blame ourselves, thinking we have control of what is outside of us. We don’t.

We feel like we need an award for doing a good job… doing everything we were supposed to. We need someone to fall madly in love with us, validate us, give us a thumbs up. The bottom line is acting makes you believe you are OWED something. It’s a reward that never comes because you’re not emotionally connected to yourself; you’re totally checked out to your own feelings when you’re focused externally.

Acting is the opposite of authenticity, and a healthy connection with another person can’t happen as long as you’re playing a role. Stop looking for an Academy Award and start relaxing into who you are.