What if the most radical divorce advice you ever receive is this: stay angry—at least for a while? In this episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia sits down with Fresh Starts Expert and certified ADR pre-mediation coach Lyerly Spongberg, founder of Step Up with Lyerly, to talk about the relationship between anger, healing, emotions, and personal growth in divorce. Drawing on her training as a divorce coach and co-parenting specialist—and her own experience ending a marriage—Lyerly gently reframes anger from something to suppress into something to listen to, a secondary emotion that shows up as a warning light when boundaries are crossed, needs are ignored, or shame has taken root.

Through vivid examples from her work with clients, Lyerly Spongberg walks us through the everyday moments where anger quietly builds: the partner who belittles you in front of the kids, the “roommate” marriage where a fight about socks on the floor is really about a life that no longer fits, the divorced mom wondering, How did I let this happen to me? Together, Olivia and Lyerly explore how anger, shame, emotional abuse, people-pleasing, and guilt become intertwined in the divorce process—and how naming those patterns can change everything. Anger, they suggest, can be the bridge between your pain and your purpose, the spark that finally moves you from confusion to clarity in your divorce recovery.

Listeners will leave with both validation and direction: permission to feel furious, and practical divorce advice for what to do with that anger. Lyerly Spongberg shares accessible tools like journaling prompts, talking to anger as if it were a messenger, and working with a divorce coach to turn that energy into value-aligned decisions about mediation, co-parenting, and starting over after divorce. If you’ve ever been told to “just calm down,” this conversation offers a different path—one where your anger becomes a catalyst for self-discovery, healing, and life-changing personal growth after divorce.

Learn more about Lyerly Spongberg: https://www.freshstartsregistry.com/resourceguide/step-up-with-lyerly

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