Tim humiliated himself on Today Extra—first, fumbling basic math while talking about the Budget, then doubling down with an awkward exit. Later, he proudly admitted to skipping showers on weekends, sparking pure chaos. Meanwhile, Oasis fans are so desperate for tickets they’re applying for bar jobs at the gigs. In the Glossys, a man got arrested mid-flight for severe constipation, and one Instagram mum is pushing the family cloth—yes, reusable toilet wipes. We have so many questions.

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