Going Terribly

Alice just learned that a compliment she received years ago was plagiarized. And Doug believes she may have had a tryst with Cameron Crowe.

Meanwhile, they learn some rather disturbing news about some of America's favorite clothing, footwear, and soda.

Does everything have evil origins?*

Other discussion topics may include:

- Are there too many Sharknado movies? Or perhaps...not enough?

- Edward Norton's potentially unique relationship with God

- Just what IS a "magnificent fall"?

- Non-German German Chocolate Cake...but plenty of other less good German stuff

- Farting babies

*Probably.

The D-Man and A-Girl are in the house!

Alice is out of steroids.

Doug may have eaten a block of eye shadow.

Alice thinks she may be more woman than some dude.

Doug can't stop saying "coochie."

The stage is set.

Witness the chaos.

Other discussion topics may include:

- That mood when you just want to watch a few hundred people drown

- A 12-year old's contract to not have children

- How to tick off the National Persimmon Alliance

- Could Tom have just been trying to get with Jerry?

- That Famous Amos cookie fella was actually really awesome. No, seriously.

Happy birthday, Mr. Disney!

(the other one)

The episode has a depressing start before finally getting into all the boner and nipple hair talk you've grown to love. Or at least expect. This week Alice gears up to run her annual Summer Playwriting Workshop while Doug discovers he's not a boy, but not quite a man.

Other discussion topics may include:

- What if Dr. Seuss were a podiatrist?

- Mel Brooks vs. Kumar. Finally.

- Never bring up a man's vamp size.

- Classic Disney World rides, like Mt. Everest

- Chuck Taylor. No, really. Like, the original shoe dude.

Sure seems like a lot of foot talk, doesn't it?

Well, Alice is back. But she's still facing some COVID aftershocks. And now Doug has COVID for the very first time.

No, this is episode isn't coming to you straight from mid-2020.

Alice shares tales from Salt Lake City (spoiler: it's a lot of sitting in her hotel room watching movies, like Crazy Rich Asians). And Doug overshares about his unique COVID symptoms.

Still not 2020 though. We promise.

Other discussion topics include:

- Getting all one's medical knowledge from Dick Van Dyke's Diagnosis Murder

- The wittiest Davids

- The time Keanu Reeves had his talent stolen by the Monstars

- Why frogs might be the most exhausted animals

- Messy sheets: Poop or Caesar salad incident?

Alice is unfortunately ill this week, but Will.he.is has (figuratively) stepped into her shoes to co-host with Doug this week. They'll discuss a bunch of questions only...ahem, Will can answer, as well as the debut of the game "Meat or Myth."

They cap off the episode with every single delicious and/or weird thing imminently coming to you at restaurants and store shelves with "New Yum City."

Other discussion topics may include:

- Do men brag about the amount of pee that comes out of them?

- How Hello Kitty can make anyone interested in wearing makeup

- Testicular bicycle dangers, featuring the Meaty Blues

- Does anyone REALLY like cotton candy?

- The (hopefully) upcoming Blue Mouthed Food Club

There's a lot of talk about currency and puzzle terminology this episode. But just so you don't think Doug and Alice have completely turned over a new leaf, they absolutely say the word "sausage" more than has ever been said in a non-pork-specific podcast.

So much sausage, y'all. Sweet, savory, spicy, Vienna. It's all covered in this one.

Other discussion topics may include:

- How to properly get into a spread eagle position at the gym. Like a lady.

- Is Def Comedy Jam short for Def Comedy Jamboree?

- Elusive doughnuts

- Remembering the time Tom Hanks defused a bomb and slapped another celebrity, or something.

- Which steamed sausage casing looks the most like a condom?

We're all lucky to still have Alice around after her near-death bug trap experience this past week. Luckily a Backstreet Boys-featured musical has been the cure for what ailed her.

Other discussion topics:

- Is it time for another live-action Flintstones movie?

- The possibly true (but likely not) story of the first person to dip fries in a Wendy's Frosty

- How to play a slug like an ocarina

- Paul McCartney vs. The Swede

- Is your deep freeze big enough for your loved one? You know, just in case?

The NBA Playoffs have been going on for what seems like forever, and Alice was able to pull herself away from a scrapbooking endeavor to watch her first game. There's also some talk about computer shopping and domestic finance.

Yes, this is adulthood, folks. We all need to get used to it.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Dongles

- A basement escort

- Cocker

- Taking advantage of a browser's incognito mode

- Yak butter

And exactly zero of those are anything dirty, so looks like you need to grow up, too.

This week's episode sees the long-awaited return of Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News, featuring incredible journalistic integrity, thought provoking stories, and more poop than you could shake a stick at. Or would want to. Also, Alice got a much deserved promotion, so please congratulate her! Even if Doug will never remember her new job title.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Terminal degrees: Sad or heartwarming?

- A 98-year old war hero still being a hero

- What are your favorite f words?

- Gas tank chicken nuggets

- Sperm racing

This week Doug asks Alice some much anticipated, very important questions. They involve God, rivals, and, of course, bologna sandwiches.

Alice teaches Doug about translucent babies, and he does not take it well.

Other discussion topics may include:

- Has Michael J. Fox ever sung a song?

- Turning retired rats into delicious milk

- The sounds of tortoise sex

- Eleven is way too many members for an upstart band

- Vagina Havin' Sleep Walkin' Mamas.