Good Life Project

So, what if being fiercely self-reliant and individualistic was actually a terrible thing? I know, I know, sounds silly. I mean isn’t that the very thing we’re told to strive for from the youngest age? And, especially, in our culture now? 

Problem is, living in a me-first or me-over-you world is not only destroying our personal relationships, it’s destroying us, our states of mind, and even physical wellbeing. And, intimacy, deep connectedness, even reliance on and elevating others just might be the solution to much of what ails us.

That idea may sound strange at first, it’s hard to argue that the rise of a wildly individualistic society has also gone hand-in-hand with the destruction of social bonds, friendship, mental health and nearly every marker of health in communities as well. As humans, we are all designed to be in relationship with others to experience the positive effects of connectedness, when that breaks down, so do we. And today's guest, Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. His new book Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship is a guide not just for couples, but also just for all human beings, filled with tools and advice to help anyone tap into their most collaborative and relational self. In today's conversation with Terry, he shares his story of growing up in a dysfunctional home to reveal how the techniques we've all learned to survive dysfunction as children can take a toll on our present relationships. And we explore how re-engaging with the people around us we hold most dear just may save not only those relationships, but our lives as well, and society more broadly. 

You can find Terry at: Website | Facebook

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Julie and John Gottman about how to build deeper, loving relationships

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My guest today, Danica Roem, went from fronting a Death Metal band by night while building a career as an accomplished journalist by day, to being the first person to be elected and serve in any U.S. state legislature while openly transgender.

When you hear that story, you might think, “wow, that’s amazing, but I don’t really relate.” Not so fast. When you zoom the lens out, Danica’s story is really about the quest to live as the truest expression of yourself, to not stifle or deny who you are, and to find a sense of home for all parts of you within a community. Which is something nearly all of us often struggle with. I know I do. This is why I was so excited to be in conversation with Danica Roem. 

My chat with Danica takes us back to her teenage years, where she first found her community in (what may sound surprising now, but won’t later) metal music. We talk about the struggles of masking the authentic parts of yourself in order to fit in, and how she’s been able to use her experiences to relate with people from all different backgrounds on a human level. 

Danica’s new memoir-meets-manifesto, Burn the Page: A True Story of Torching Doubts, Blazing Trails, and Igniting Change, deconstructs the many, sometimes outrageous and deeply isolating and offensive stories her doubters and opponents have thrown at her and shows through brutal honesty how she’s turned her identity, values and experiences into her greatest strengths. She brings that same honesty and authenticity to our conversation today, so know that you’re in for a real treat. 

You can find Danica at: Website | Twitter

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Jeffrey Marsh about living into your own sense of identity, unapologetically. 

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• My New Book Sparked
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Imagine being a kid who loved music, who’d been brought up with jazz literally in his blood, graduating college, then, instead of heading into a “responsible” adult job like all your friends, opening a record store in the heart of Seattle at a time where the neighborhood musicians, the ones who’d hang out all day and talk about all-things-music, also just happened to be budding icons who’d go one to become scions in the industry, forming bands like Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Sound Garden, and so many others. This is just one season in the extraordinary life and career of today’s guest, Nabil Ayers.

Now, years into a powerhouse career in music, he heads-up of one of the most iconic labels in the business, one, in fact, he fell in love with as a young kid. Growing up mixed-race, Jewish and Black, in NYC in the eighties, with a father who was a legendary jazz musician, but also entirely absent from his life, Nabil’s mom and uncle made sure to surround him with music, musicians and other quirky characters. And, that seeded a passion not just for music, but also for the culture, the stories, and eventually the business of helping artists grow and thrive. 

Along the way, Nabil also found himself becoming a storyteller. Both, of his own narrative, and of the many artists he’d champion and help introduce to the world. And, well into his career in music, Nabil began writing about music, his own life and story, and race for publications including The New York Times, NPR, Rolling Stone, GQ, and The Root. Ayers is the President of Beggars Group US, a music label where he has released albums by many GRAMMY Award-winning artists such as The National. His new memoir, My Life in the Sunshine: Searching for My Father and Discovering My Family is about his journey to connect with his musician father, Roy Ayers, and ultimately re-draw the lines that define family and race. 

You can find Nabil at: Website | Instagram

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Jimmie Vaughan about his life in music.

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• My New Book Sparked
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With everything going on in the world recently, we've likely all thought to ourselves at some point, "Is humanity lost?" You are not alone if the news makes you feel like everything is hopeless, and it's fair to wonder if collective and individual hope in empathy, compassion, and humanity will ever be restored. 

As we move forward past the darkest days of the COVID-19 outbreak, many people are still searching for hope, inspiration, and answers to some big questions like: How do you regain access to empathy? Or what truly matters in life in the end? 

And I can't think of a better person to explore these questions with than my guest today, Rabbi Steve Leder. 

He is a graduate of Northwestern University and was ordained at Hebrew Union College, and he currently serves as the Senior Rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles. He's also a writer and the author of several critically acclaimed books, including his best-seller, More Beautiful Than Before: How Suffering Transforms Us, and his latest book, For You When I'm Gone: 12 Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story. 

His compassionate voice and words of wisdom have earned Rabbi Leder recognition as one of Newsweek Magazine's ten most influential rabbis in America — twice. In this revealing conversation, we explore his views on humanity, death, religion, and what makes a good life well-lived.

Rabbi Leder shares his interesting thoughts on why people leave the church, what he believes to be the true single source of evil, and how we can all get back to living in alignment with our values and also how to create a powerful curation of beliefs and stories to share with others he calls your ethical will. There are so many good nuggets to take away from this conversation, so I hope you're in a position to jot down Rabbi Leder's words of wisdom today.

You can find Rabbi Steve at: Website | Instagram

If you LOVED this episode you'll also love the conversations we had with Bishop Michael Curry about the role of love in faith and life.

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When we consider the qualities and traits passed down throughout our family tree, we may think of the curly hair we share with a sibling or a natural talent like singing. But what about the not-so-pleasant traits, beliefs, or patterns that appear generation after generation that are hard to shake? 

Do we keep making these same old mistakes just because "old patterns die hard," as they say? Or will you be the one who takes a new path, no matter how hard or long it takes?

Jennifer Grey is no stranger to taking the road less traveled. From her most visible standout moments, like her iconic role as the star of the 1987 film Dirty Dancing, to her personal journey to self-acceptance, Grey has found her way back to herself one step at a time. And you'll hear today that she's just as forthcoming about her journey as she is in her recently released memoir Out of the Corner.

In this transparent conversation with her, we explore how Grey views and juggles her family's history and culture, her identity, and her role as the cycle breaker through the lens of her younger and present self. Her awareness of what her mother sacrificed to be a wife and mother shapes how Grey leads her life and chooses to tell her story now. And despite what patterns, gender roles, or responsibilities she was expected to bear or even did at one point, Grey is no longer worried about pleasing people but just being as real and true to herself as possible. 

You can find Jennifer at: Website | Instagram

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Marin Hinkle about her life in theater, film, and TV.

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• My New Book Sparked
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When Chef Irene Li opened a food truck, mei mei, with her siblings, hoping to have fun together, build something cool, and reimagine Chinese comfort cuisine with a playful, modern twist, what happened next took everyone by surprise. Mei Mei exploded, becoming the talk of the town within months. They soon found themselves looking for space and opening a full-service restaurant that was perpetually abuzz. The restaurant was a big success. But, beyond the chance to do something cool with her brother and sister, and push the culinary envelope, there was something else going on.

Growing up, Irene’s grandparents immigrated to the US and slowly built up their own restaurants. While her brother had been in fine dining for years, she’d developed a deep passion not just for food, but also for the environment, viewing agriculture, the food and restaurant industry as a potential vehicle to change people’s lives, to completely upend the way restaurants run, and weave in a powerful thru line of social justice, advocacy and impact. And, of course, fun and love. 

As mei mei took off, Irene and the restaurant landed features everywhere from Food & Wine and The New York Times to People, Bon Appetit and more. Irene gained acclaim for her creativity and innovation, being named a Zagat 30 Under 30 and Forbes 30 Under 30 winner, six-time James Beard Foundation Rising Star Chef nominee, and James Beard Foundation Leadership Award winner. Her cookbook is Double Awesome Chinese Food: Irresistible and Totally Achievable Recipes from Our Chinese-American Kitchen.

Like many restaurants, though, the pandemic was a brutal experience, the restaurant space eventually closed its doors, but mei mei - the creative, joyful food innovator brand - transformed itself into a next-generation direct-to-consumer and wholesale food manufacturer, focusing on their signature dumplings, with a heartbeat that remains deeply rooted in industry reform and social justice. Irene’s commitment to food, agriculture, cooking and community is a testament to the dedication she has for her work and her genuine commitment to being in relationship with others to impact the greater good. 

You can find Irene at: Website | Instagram | Dumplings | Prepshift

If you LOVED this episode: you’ll also love the conversations we had with Ellen Bennett, the founder of Hedley & Bennett chef’s apron brand, about how she built a business in the food industry when everyone around her told her it’d never work.

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• My New Book Sparked
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• Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes

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If you google the word “Trauma” you’ll find the top search results arrive in some form of the question “What is trauma?” This then begs the next question: what are we really talking about when we’re talking about trauma? In today’s episode, Dr. Paul Conti and I unpack what trauma is, what it means to have experienced trauma, and what makes trauma so hard to resolve. What I found so fascinating in this conversation was the idea that there are 4 types of trauma we can experience and how, if we can create safe spaces to talk about our trauma and support one another, we can more readily recognize who we were before the trauma occurred and who we want to be after. 

A graduate of Stanford University School of Medicine, Paul completed his psychiatry training at Stanford and Harvard. Now living in Portland, OR and founding his own clinic, he serves patients and clients throughout the United States and internationally, including the executive leadership of large corporations. He is the author of TRAUMA: The Invisible Epidemic: How Trauma Works and How We Can Heal From It. 

Thing is, Paul talks about trauma - not just as an academic pursuit but from a personal perspective and experience - having lost his brother to suicide when Paul was just 25 years old. As a result of his training and experience, Paul urges us to remember that we are all in this together and shared humanity is more important now than ever for our healing to begin - and around the 53-minute mark, Paul gives us two prescriptions to take action on - 1 as societal prescription and the other for us individually. 

Quick note before diving in. As noted above, trauma & suicide are discussed in this conversation, with the lens of care and compassion, still we understand these topics are sensitive and may be triggering to some, so please take care when choosing to listen and honor your own personal sensitivities and needs.

You can find Paul at: Website

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Bessel van der Kolk about his embodied approach to integrating trauma.

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Have you ever asked yourself: “Who am I? What do I stand for?” Many of us do ask these questions and when we do, it can be a catalyst that sets us on an alternative path - even though we know it might disappoint those around us. Yet, all too often, even when our inner knowing is forcing us to pay attention, life can pull us in the direction of expectations versus desire. We hesitate to follow our curiosity for fear we might let down our family and loved ones. As a result, we stay on course towards what “we’re supposed to do”. But it doesn’t always have to be this way. Sometimes choosing the new path is just what we need to honor our voice, culture and family. This is why I’m excited to share this conversation with Connie Lim, whose artist name is MILCK for this Best Of Conversation.

MILCK rose to widespread attention after a video of an a capella performance of her song "Quiet" on the street at the 2017 Women's March exploded into the public’s consciousness going viral and becoming embraced as an anthem for the movement. That moment and the impact and reach of the song led to a major record deal and collaborations as a songwriter that launched the career she’s been working to build for years. But that career almost never happened. MILCK grew up in an enclave of LA, the child of immigrants from China, and was drawn to music from her earliest days. She wrote her first song at 7 years old and studied classical piano and opera. Yet the pressure of intense perfectionism and the expectation she’d eventually leave music behind to follow the family tradition into medicine led her into years of profound emotional struggle. 

Eventually, she hit a point in college where she decided it was time to choose herself over the expectations of others, as well as the burden of perfectionism that had caused so many years of suffering and harm. MILCK left college and went all-in on music, performing as an independent artist for years, slowly building her name, before that fateful day in 2017 that changed everything. She’s now deep into writing, producing and performing her own work, while also writing with and for other artists and focusing on not just sharing her own creative voice, but also gathering community and shining the light on truth and inequity along the way.

You can find MILCK at: Website | Instagram

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Justin Tranter about their journey through challenging times as a kid growing up and then stepping into the world of music - first as a musician, and then as a powerhouse songwriter and collaborator.

Check out our offerings & partners: 

• My New Book Sparked
• My New Podcast SPARKED.
• Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if, instead of trying to fit in and be accepted, you embraced and harnessed the power of your inner outlier? How could you leverage different experiences and environments to turn the parts of you that no one else can replicate from a potential source of exclusion into a superpower and differentiator? 

In today’s episode with my guest, Julian Gilliam, who goes by the artist name, LOGIK, we explore these ideas in the context of LOGIK’s upbringing, living in 9 different places and having to constantly adapt, to his work as both a change-maker and creative innovator in the world of advertising and media, a Creative Director for Google, as an artist and painter who creates stunning lifesize works, and has recently been making giant waves in the world of art, community, Web3, and NFTs.

And all the while, he’s done it by immersing himself in different experiences and cultures, including Japanese art and language, studying the dynamics and often unspoken social context, then rather than trying to fit in, bringing his full self, often as an outside and outlier, to the quest to create incredible moments of innovation, emotion, and awakening.

I’m fascinated by LOGIK’s complexity as a skilled artist, the powerful direction he’s taking NFTs and the decisions he’s currently making as he steps fully into this brand new digital creative world. Toward the end of our conversation, at around the hour mark, he brings us to a point of how art and digital collide in a way that changes the relationship between art and collectors. This was a particularly potent part of the conversation in that, LOGIK reveals his philosophy around building a solid foundation as an artist and also building the relationships and structure needed to support longevity for the projects you’re undertaking. He truly brings a new lens to the creative life and how to bring together many people, voices, and communities to both drive change and support expression.

You can find LOGIK at: Website | Instagram

If you LOVED this episode you'll also love the conversations we had with Lisa Congdon about building a career in the arts as an outlier.

Check out our offerings & partners: 

• My New Book Sparked
• My New Podcast SPARKED.
• Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re all in a process of reimagining when it comes to work, looking at the changes we’ve made over the last few years, and trying to figure out what we’ll keep, what we’ll let go of, and how else we might want to change the way we work in order to feel the way we want to feel. And, what so many are realizing is that we’ve got more power to reimagine every aspect of work now than we’ve ever had before. Question is, what do we do with that power? And what do we do with this moment of openness to new ways of working and living?

These questions are what we dive into with today’s guest, Anne Helen Peterson. Anne is a journalist whose wise, often irreverent, funny, and provocative writing appeared in Buzzfeed, the New York Times and more, before leaving the mainstream to become the voice behind the wildly-popular newsletter, Culture Study. She’s also the author of four books, most recently Out of the Office: The Big Problem and Bigger Promise of Working From Home (co-written with Charlie Warzel) and Can't Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation.

During our conversation, we talk about everything from where we live and work to the traditional role of the 9-5 work week and how, as we look at what’s important to us, companies, businesses and the promise of what remote work can bring, there’s an opportunity to change the way we think about work which ultimately then opens the door to shifting old-schoolwork schedules and models across many industries. One of my favorite moments of this conversation is at minute 35:03 when Anne makes a really compelling case for the 4-day work week, showing how she’s witnessed its success even in, as she calls them, “fuddy-duddy industries.” 

We also talk about Ann’s power move from mainstream media journalist and big city living to going out on her own as a writer, starting her own subscription newsletter, moving to a remote island, and loving it all. If you’re ready to think about working differently, this episode will be a beacon for you. 

You can find Anne at: Instagram | Substack

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Charlie Gilkey about focusing on what matters in work and life.

Check out our offerings & partners: 

• My New Book Sparked
• My New Podcast SPARKED.
• Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.