"What you say in here, stays in here…” 

We’ve all said it, but it’s a promise that never came from schools, and it’s costing us trust with students, parents, and administrators. 

In this Graded episode, I examine how near-absolute confidentiality has been implemented in school counseling, the fallout it’s created, and why the grade I’m giving it might surprise you.

We’ll trace how confidentiality migrated from clinical counseling into schools without informed consent, why the line we were trained to use is misleading at best, and how it has fueled parental distrust, administrative micromanagement, and even new state legislation.

If you’ve ever felt caught between protecting student privacy and keeping parents informed, this episode will give you the clarity- and the courage- you need to move forward differently.

References (Annotated)

American Counseling Association. (2014). ACA Code of Ethics. Alexandria, VA: Author. https://www.counseling.org/resources/aca-code-of-ethics.pdf
The foundational ethical guide for all counselors. Section B.1.b. and A.2.d. directly address confidentiality with minors and the need to explain limits clearly.

American School Counselor Association. (2022). ASCA Ethical Standards for School Counselors. Alexandria, VA: Author. https://schoolcounselor.org/ethics
School-specific ethical standards. Section A.2.a. emphasizes protecting confidentiality “to the extent possible,” while A.2.d. requires informing students upfront about its limits.

Harrichand, J. J. S., Knight, A. M., & Captari, L. E. (2021). Moral injury among mental health professionals: Risk, impact, and recovery. Counseling and Values, 66(1), 1–16. https://doi.org/10.1002/cvj.12155
Explains how moral injury—acting against one’s ethical compass—contributes to counselor stress and burnout. Directly ties to the personal cost of impossible confidentiality decisions.

Isaacs, M. L., & Stone, C. B. (2001). Confidentiality with minors: Current views and practices of school counselors. Professional School Counseling, 4(4), 258–265. https://doi.org/10.1177/2156759X0100400405
A classic study showing how school counselors navigate confidentiality with students. One of the earliest peer-reviewed examinations of the real-world gap between ethics and practice.

Remley, T. P., & Huey, W. C. (2002). An analysis of legal and ethical issues in school counseling. Professional School Counseling, 6(1), 33–39. https://doi.org/10.1177/2156759X0200600107
An overview of common legal/ethical dilemmas in school counseling, including confidentiality, and strategies for reducing liability while maintaining professional integrity.

Stone, C. (2017). School counseling principles: Ethics and law (4th ed.). Alexandria, VA: American School Counselor Association.
Widely used textbook by Carolyn Stone, the leading voice on legal and ethical issues in school counseling. Offers detailed guidance on confidentiality and parent rights.

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⭐️ Want support with real-world strategies that actually work on your campus? We’re doing that every day in the School for School Counselors Mastermind. Come join us! ⭐️

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All names, stories, and case studies in this episode are fictionalized composites drawn from real-world circumstances. Any resemblance to actual students, families, or school personnel is coincidental. Details have been altered to protect privacy.