Having Tough Conversations Podcast

Short episode summary

Didn't you get your copy of the script? Tune in now to find out why this question is so important, and how the rules we live by might need to be rewritten.

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] Today I'm talking about manuals. But, what are manuals? Find out here

[01:15] People often confuse manuals with boundaries

[01:38] Sometimes we want people to have the script in hand we've written for them

[02:36] Manuals are your set of rules for how others should act

[02:55] Interestingly enough, we have manuals for ourselves too

[04:03] Are the rules we are holding ourselves to our own?

[05:05] Perhaps the rules we live by were instilled in us, but they weren't created by us

[05:58] How do we stop the rules we live by and create new rules for ourselves?

[06:30] There's a freebie on the Having Tough Conversations website that can help. Click "Get Started" on the homepage

[06:59] What happens if you find out you're living by someone else's manual?

[08:04] There's a chance that what is causing conflict in your relationships and in your life has to do with the manuals you are living by

[09:19] I challenge you to look at your life right now and consider the manuals in it

[10:28] I share an example of manuals as it pertains to my birthday and my marriage

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

Short episode summary

What happens when you keep filling up a bottle? It will overflow. Find out what this has to do with you in today's episode.

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] Today I'm talking about anxiety, and I share some of what's been making me anxious right now

[01:15] Here's the thing guys, a lot of what happens is beyond our control

[01:58] At this moment, I can't affect changes on a lot of things, regardless of my opinion. Can you relate?

[02:23] We as humans have a tendency to let the things making us anxious disrupt our lives

[03:42] Now you might be thinking - I can change my thoughts, but what if something else happens and ruins your "zen?"

[04:29] In moments of high anxiety, we can blow our responses out of proportion

[06:48] Your body often knows something's wrong even if you're trying to remain calm

[07:22] I want you to look at your current situation and assess what could really be going on

[08:09] I challenge you to look at what you're facing right now

[09:13] Sometimes crying can be cathartic and letting your body feel something can help you work through it. Ignoring it can actually make things worse.

[09:46] This week, I challenge you to take time to feel and work through things

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

Short episode summary

Hearing "you are not alone" may feel like empty words, but they're not. Tune in now if you've ever said, "no one understands what I'm going through."

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] This week we're continuing the conversation on fear

[00:30] I share a story about a client who can't get the Covid vaccine and the fears it's causing

[02:34] Was her coworker being mean? Is this a hostile work environment? 

[03:15] I reveal how I coached my client through her discomfort

[04:23] What would you do when you feel completely alone?

[05:36] Sometimes we have to consider the source who said something that causes discomfort

[06:12] Here I share the outcome of the situation my client experienced with coaching

[06:52] I pose a question to you to help get you thinking about your own life, and how I can help

[07:20] I would love to help you if you are interested in a free discovery call

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

Interested in a free discovery call? Reach out at [email protected] 

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

Short episode summary

Your dream life is on the other side of fear. Tune in now to learn more!

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] I recap episode 21

[01:05] Looking at both possibilities - getting the job or not - brought up fear

[02:08] I talk about Will Smith's YouTube video about skydiving

[03:57] Like Will Smith explained, we can ruin a day with fear

[04:52] We think if something is too fearful, we shouldn't do it

[05:53] I issue a challenge to you about big fear

[07:05] The thing you fear most might actually be something you should do

[08:04] You need a space where the things that matter to you are being discussed

[08:22] We have to take care of ourselves first before we can help others

[08:42] I invite you to join me on locals and tell you about what I'll share there

[Section 3] Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

Episode 20 https://havingtoughconversations.libsyn.com/ep-20-why-either-or-not-and

"Will Smith on Skydiving" https://youtu.be/gG-F_rRVdLc 

https://havingtoughconversations.locals.com

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

Short episode summary

You can have it all. That's the message you need to hear, so tune in right now!

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] I open with an announcement of when new episodes will drop

[01:13] I want to talk about something a little bit more personal today, and I explain why I feel so compelled to do this podcast and share my message

[02:20] I'm not here to help you become an activist, but I am here for this…

[03:20] Like most business owners, I often question what to post online

[03:57] While coaching, I'm super confident. But when it's done, I question myself

[04:27] How do I borrow the confidence I've had for years, and use it to help myself through what I'm going through now? Can you relate?

[04:58] I heard a podcast, and they were talking about why we have to be either/or, and not and…

[06:28] Yes, there are some scenarios where you have to choose this or that, but when you can have both, you should!

[07:45] Sometimes a simple thought we have can cause a fear spiral that is unfounded

[08:47] It's far too easy to have a negative mindset about things

[09:22] I share what we do in life coaching to turn a negative thought into a positive outcome

[10:45] When do you know you're supposed to do x, y, or z?

[11:59] Looking at my own fear, I was faced with this question of what I really want to create

[12:53] I'm creating a group on locals.com, and what will go on in it - details coming soon

[13:58] Here are a few things we can't control, and one thing we can

[15:10] I want my locals.com group to be a safe space to have tough conversations

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

https://havingtoughconversations.locals.com

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

Short episode summary

Learn about how hiding from the real issues can be what's leaving you frustrated and holding you back from living your best life. Tune in now!

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] Today I'm sharing about a call I had with a client related to wearing masks at work

[03:35] Sometimes just talking through a problem can help you feel better about it

[04:27] You have a choice to be frustrated or do what is best for yourself

[05:27] At the end of the call we came to this mind-blowing conclusion

[06:25] Are you spending too much time worrying about things you can't change to avoid working on the things you can change?

[07:30] I challenge you to consider what you're avoiding in your own life by spending time on the things you have no control over

[08:33] We look elsewhere because we don't want to feel the feelings of things close to home

[08:42] I share a personal example of how this is manifesting in my own life 

[09:44] Here I share what I did to deal with hiding from things I need to handle

[10:30] I can help people feel the feelings and make different choices to enhance your life

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

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Short episode summary

Even the word trigger can be triggering. I've got 3 methods that can help you work through triggers. Tune in now to find out what they are.

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] Today we're exploring how you are handling all the tough conversations in your life

[00:38] I share Stacy Boehman's take on politics, and how it relates to what I want to do with this podcast

[02:01] How do you listen to the other side of an argument? Here I share what I do

[03:27] What situations will my method work for? I share the answer and a real life example

[05:52] If swapping the topic for something benign doesn't work, try this...

[07:56] When we are confident in ourselves, comments are less likely to bother you

[08:11] Here is what you should do when you're triggered anyway and nothing is helping

[09:23] Sometimes your beliefs can be what causes you to be triggered

[10:30] I want to give you the ability to step away from what is happening so you can handle it better

[11:36] Let's do a quick recap of how to handle triggering moments

[11:59] If you think a coach would help you with triggers, feel free to reach out to me

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

Stacey Boehman's podcast: https://staceyboehman.com/podcast/ 

"Think Again" by Adam Grant - Grab a copy here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087ZC68VN/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 

My recap episodes of Think Again: Part 1 https://havingtoughconversations.libsyn.com/ep-15-think-again-part-1;  Part 2 https://havingtoughconversations.libsyn.com/ep-16-think-again-part-2 

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

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Short episode summary

Trigger warning! In this raw and real episode, I'm talking about depression, medication, therapy, and suicidal ideation. If you or anyone you know needs to talk to someone, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] I open this episode with reading a page from one of my 21 year old journals

[01:30] I share the context of the journal reading

[02:40] At the time I wrote this journal entry, I wasn't on antidepressants

[03:37] Why am I sharing this with you? Find out here

[04:37] I found my journal around the time it was announced that Britney Spears wanted to be released from her conservatorship

[05:34] I wanted to discuss the effect of talk therapy and some medications can have on a person

[06:01] I talk about a podcast episode I heard from Stacey Boehman about extreme emotions

[07:10] I realized I don't really have extreme reactions, but I do have highs and lows

[07:24] After the death of my mother, I started going into a dark, deep, depression

[08:30] I worked with my therapist for two or three years exploring options and treatments

[09:10] We thought bipolar disorder was possible because of my high highs, and the low lows

[10:26] My therapist and I tried different medications to treat my mental health

[11:58] I share some of my low lows, and my side effects of some of my medications

[13:19] I talk about my experience with Lithium, and how I feel about Britney Spears' being on it

[14:56] I was medically preventing extreme swings of emotions, but was really numbing myself

[15:52] My husband and I moved to Phoenix, to be closer to family and make a change

[16:56] I continued working with my therapist throughout the move

[17:40] Less than a year after the move, I was weaning off of my medications

[18:06] I explain why I'm sharing my background with therapy and medication

[19:26] A lot of us are afraid of feeling super soulful stuff

[20:01] I share where I'm at today with my mental health

[21:14] I believe in talk therapy, life coaching, and having a safe space with no judgment

[22:04] I share about coaching runners through fear

[22:44] A life coach is not a therapist, and if you need help with your mental health, you should seek a mental health professional

[23:31] I'm here for the people who know they're meant for more and want help working through your goals and dreams 

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

Stacey Boehman's podcast episode about extreme emotions: https://staceyboehman.com/extreme-emotions-wedding/

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

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Short episode summary

I'm right! You're wrong! Wait - think again! In this continuation episode from last week, we're covering part two of the book  "Think Again" by Adam Grant.

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] Have you ever noticed that when you decide to buy a car, you see it everywhere?

[01:08] "Think Again" by Adam Grant has three parts, but today we're focusing on part two

[01:57] When we're presented with an idea, our gut reaction is to object

[02:50] Find out what the "no-syndrome" is here

[03:55] I share my cure to the "no-syndrome"

[04:30] There are key elements to debating any topic - the first being to find common ground

[06:00] Second, stick with one or two simple and clear points in your arguments

[06:55] It might not be worth discussing if the opponent is not open to new ideas

[08:09] You must be free from emotion to have a productive conversation

[08:55] The third key element for debating a topic is that the person most likely to change their mind should be you

[09:39] The arguments we come up against can be seen as war

[10:26] Remaining calm in debate is one of the toughest skills to master

[11:00] Let's recap the 3 key elements to debating

[11:54] Ask yourself this important question when debating

[12:44] Stay tuned for future episodes as I share more ideas for re-thinking

Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

Did you miss part 1? Listen to that episode here: https://havingtoughconversations.libsyn.com/ep-15-think-again-part-1

"Think Again" by Adam Grant - Grab a copy here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087ZC68VN/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

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Short episode summary

Today, we're talking about one of my favorite books - "Think Again" by Adam Grant. The idea is we can coexist even with differing opinions. Tune in now to learn more!

Timestamps of big takeaways

[00:14] Today, we're talking about one of my favorite books - "Think Again" by Adam Grant 

[01:13] When we disagree, we fall into three modes and I cover those here

[01:55] The preacher belief doesn't have to be political or religious

[03:18] The prosecutor sees the flaws in your opponent's argument

[04:35] The politician believes whoever makes the best argument at the time

[05:09] We don't stay in just one mode - it depends on the disagreement

[06:06] I share a quote from the book that drives home the author's entire premise for the book

[07:28] How do we get out of these modes? Find out here

[07:45] What is the Dunning–Kruger Effect? I explain it here

[08:13] I share when we're most and least willing to listen to other arguments

[08:58] Our beliefs and our past selves are not detached from our identity

[09:25] I share the reason that this book means so much to me for my coaching practice

[10:03] I explain my job as a coach here

[10:15] As you begin to open your mind, you should consider two things about any given topic

[12:32] I want to challenge you that as you examine your beliefs, you may need to detach your identity from the arguments in front of you.

 Rate, Review & Subscribe Reminder

Don't forget to like and subscribe to this show. You can also rate and review the show on Spotify or iTunes as well, or you can listen to the show directly on Libsyn here. 

Links mentioned in episode

"Think Again" by Adam Grant - Grab a copy here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087ZC68VN/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 

https://carolinebjorkquist.com/

https://www.havingtoughconversations.com/

Have questions? Email me at [email protected]

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