HerBusiness

When you're in business with the person you love, you're not separated by a commute and two different offices. The business comes to your dinner plans. It climbs into bed at the end of the day. It sits down in the middle of family time, invited or not.

This week's episode is an Ask Suzi edition, prompted by a listener who wrote in about exactly this: she and her husband run their business together, they see things very differently, and she can feel that the way they're working needs to change. It's a question all women business owners who work with their partners know well.

If you work with your husband, with, or partner, this episode is all about how to disagree well, make decisions cleanly, and protect the relationship WHILE you build the business together.

What You'll Discover in Episode 382: How to Work with Your Husband, Wife, or Partner in Business (Without Conflict)

• Why "equal partners" doesn't have to mean an equal vote on every single decision in the business.
• The one shift that prevents the endless litigation over the smallest of decisions.
• Why your hard conversations need a dedicated home (and how to actually protect your business-free time).
• How to agree on your rules for disagreement before the next stalemate or difficult topic, so conversations never end in a fight or deadlock.
• How real alignment is built: through regular talking, shared fundamentals, and learning together rather than drifting apart
• The one diagnostic that tells whether you've got a structure problem (fixable) or a respect problem
• Three questions that you and your husband, wife, or partner can work through together this week to start making changes

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules - www.herbusinessnetwork.com
• Full episode summary and resources – www.herbusiness.com/382
• @herbusiness on Instagram and Facebook

5 Science-Backed Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System as a Business Owner (The Inner Game of Business) — with Pauline Nguyen

Have you ever chased after a target or goal in your business, only to hit it and… feel nothing? That's where this week's conversation with Pauline Nguyen starts.

For twenty-five years, Pauline ran Red Lantern, the most awarded Vietnamese restaurant in the world, collecting accolade after accolade. But, despite all the success, she felt nothing. She was contantly in the doing, in reaching for what's next. She had mastered the outer game of business to perfection…

…but the inner game of business was a different story entirely.

Today, Pauline Nguyen coaches leaders who are in this exact position, and learn to regulate their nervous system to lead from calm instead of fear. She reclaims the word "spiritual" for it — the actual physics involved in your nervous system. The biochemistry of fear and the intelligence your body has been running on since before you even had words for it.

Today we're talking about why so many high-achieving women reach outer success, but feel a sense of emptiness underneath, and the 5 science-backed ways to regulate your nervous system as a business owner.

What You'll Discover in Episode 381: 5 Science-Backed Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System as a Business Owner (The Inner Game of Business) — with Pauline Nguyen

• The question that changes how you view success in your business and your life
• How to run an honest audit of the way you're really operating, and the signs you've slipped from healthy ambition to running on fumes
• Why rest is a necessity for high performance, and the seven kinds of rest most of us never give ourselves
• How to hold your boundaries as a way of keeping faith with yourself
• Why wanting real wealth and living by your values were never in competition
• Five science-backed ways to regulate your nervous system in just a few minutes so make clearer decisions
• The difference between rewiring and relaxing, and why "freedom is an inside job"

Five Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System as a Business Owner and Leader

When fear or doubt start to take over, Pauline's approach is refreshingly simple. No hour meditation by a river or going on a 5 mile run. An emotion, she says, takes only about ninety seconds to move through — it's the stories we attach that keep it alive for weeks. Here are her 5 science-backed ways to regulate your nervous system as a business owner:

1. Change your body temperature. Cold water on the face or a cold shower.
2. Sound medicine. Humming, which releases nitric oxide and calms the vagus nerve.
3. Movement medicine. Moving the large muscle groups to release endorphins and serotonin.
4. Nature's medicine. Just 15 minutes of stepping outside and resetting your environment.
5. Breath medicine. Controlling your breath lets you control your emotion.

About Pauline Nguyen

Pauline Nguyen is one of Australia's most decorated entrepreneurs. As owner of Red Lantern — the most awarded Vietnamese restaurant in the world — she earned the Telstra Business Award, and in 2026 was named Global Transformational Leader of the Year. She has also been named one of "200 Women Who Will Change the Way You See the World."

At three years old, Pauline escaped Vietnam by boat — nine days at sea, a year in a Thai refugee camp, and a beginning that would have broken most. She chose, instead, to become the beneficiary of everything that happened to her.

Her memoir, Secrets of the Red Lantern, won international acclaim, and her latest, The Way of the Spiritual Entrepreneur, continues to move readers worldwide.

Combining the latest neuroscience with spirituality, traveling the world as an international Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach, she guides CEOs and founders into Conscious Leadership, rewiring their story from victim consciousness to creator consciousness, and learning to live life by design, not by default.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Pauline Nguyen's Website
• Connect with Pauline Nguyen Instagram and LinkedIn
• Learn more about her upcoming retreat here.
• Full episode summary and resources – Episode 381 Show Notes
• @herbusiness on Instagram and Facebook

Some women are so good at holding everything together — business, life, visibility, relationships, responsibilities — that no one around them realises just how much they're carrying.

You see the problem before anyone else does. You smooth the tension in the room. You fill in the gaps that no one else even notices. You keep the team moving, and make every hard situation look effortless.

Our guest this week, Jen Randle, is talking with us today about our ability to stabilise and mask, and why sometimes we have to stop holding it all together. Because over time, that ability that feels like a strength can wear you down (and prevents the people around you from stepping up).

This episode is about self-trust in leadership, what it costs high-achieving women to be the one who holds it all together… and what becomes possible when you loosen the grip, and let things wobble.

The Head, Heart, and Gut All Belong in Business

Your head helps you analyse and create the plan.

Your heart tells you what you actually want.

And your gut helps you sense what may not yet be obvious on paper.

Effective leadership isn't about abandoning data for intuition. It's about allowing all three sources of information to have a fair voice at the table.

Growing as a leader doesn't mean becoming more and more capable, or carrying even more weight… it means trusting yourself enough to stop carrying what was never yours to hold.

What You'll Discover in Episode 380 — Stop Holding It All Together: The Leadership Power of Letting Things Wobble, with Jen Randle

• Why so many capable women learn to "mask" by showing up polished and measured… and why that survival instinct turns exhausting
• How the very talent for reading a room and stabilising it can shift from a strength into a trap in all aspects of business and life
• Jen Randle's "three doors" framework for any moment that feels unstable (and why the third door is the one most of us never let ourselves open)
• Why striving for perfection and overfunctioning so often go hand-in-hand, and what to do about it
• How to bring your head, your heart, and your gut back into the same conversation, rather than letting logic outvote everything
• The shift from becoming ever more capable of carrying the load, to trusting yourself enough to put some of it down

About Jen Randle

Jen Randle works at the intersection of trust, signal interpretation, and what she calls institutional coherence — helping leaders and organisations read what's shifting beneath the surface before misalignment becomes a crisis. Through her practice, SGNL, she has worked with organisations including Nike, Starbucks, Pinterest, and Virgin. Alongside her institutional work, Jen developed a personal practice called intrinsic way-finding, and she's currently writing a book, THE FRAY.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Read Jen's writing on Substack, including the article that sparked this conversation
• Learn more about Jen's work through SGNL
• Full episode summary and resources – Episode 379 Show Notes
• @herbusiness on Instagram and Facebook

What if you got to love your business, not just run it?

For the majority of established women business owners, that question almost feels silly to ask… as if loving your business and your work is a reqard you only earn once you've proven yourself enough to deserve it. In this episode, Suzi Dafnis makes the case that it actually works the other way around. Loving what you do, and learning how to love your business again isn't the dessert you get after years of finishing your vegetables. It's actually the engine that increases your momentum, drives your growth, and lets you decide on the best (and most fulfilling) long-term strategy for your business.

So if there is a sense of 'flatness' in your business, resist that initial urge to fix it (something we talked about in last week's episode: Sell Your Business or Rebuild It? What Every Established Woman Entrepreneur Eventually Asks). Because it won't go away with a new system, or a new offer, or basic re-organisation. Underneath is a far more uncomfortable question — whether you actually love any of it.

Today, we're talking about how you can learn to love your business again, even if you've been in the same routine for years or decades. And discover tools you can actually use this week to identify the parts of business that light you up, and make you feel most alive.

What You'll Discover in Episode 379: How to Love Your Business Again, Not Just Run It

• Why loving what you do gets treated as something you EARN eventually in your career… and why "eventually" almost never arrives, no matter the revenue or the milestones hit
• The subtle way successful women learn to "sand down their wanting," until the business runs beautifully and you can't remember the last time you were excited to open your laptop
• The difference between a business that's technically thriving and one that's empty… and why the second kind doesn't work for long
• A plus-or-minus exercise for reading your actual week the same way you'd read a number on a spreadsheet
• One thing you can stop doing to love your business more, and one thing that must be protected (these can happen without you redesigning your whole business)
• Why the things you protect on your own calendar actually teach your team what's allowed for them, too
• Three questions that you can sit with this week, including one that might scare you just a little

Three Questions to Sit With This Week

1. If you tracked your whole week, adding a plus or minus beside each task based only on whether you loved doing it (NOT whether it went well)… what percentage do you think would land in the plus column?
2. What's one thing on your calendar this week you'd mark a clear minus? Something you do because you've always done it, not because you love it, that you could hand to someone else or simply stop doing?
3. What's one thing you'd mark a clear plus? That thing that makes you feel the most like yourself while doing it… and could you protect that on your calendar the way you'd protect a client meeting?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Full episode summary and resources – Episode 379 Show Notes
• @herbusiness on Instagram and Facebook
• Learn more about HerBusiness Podcast listener Kelly White, founder of The Skin Retreat by Oak & Sage. Oak & Sage offers beauty and skin treatments, plus monthly membership packages tailored to address a variety of skin concerns.

Should you sell your business, rebuild it, or just burn it all down?

This is a common fork almost every established business owner reaches, often without warning.

Suzi Dafnis unpacks why the question of whether to sell your business tends to show up around year eight, nine, or ten of running a business — not because something's gone wrong, but because you've finally built something durable enough to ask whether you actually want it.

Suzi walks through why all three impulses — to sell your business, burn it down, or start over over — usually point to the same root cause: not the business, but the operating system it's still running on. The one you built years ago, under different conditions, with different resources, as a different version of yourself.

Using the story of a woman she calls Julia, an agency owner who nearly sold her fifteen-year business before realising what she actually wanted wasn't out, it was a different "in". Suzi introduces a fourth option nobody names: not selling, not burning it down, but rebuilding the woman running the business first, and letting the business follow.

You'll hear about the cost of sanding yourself down to be taken seriously over a decade-plus in business, and why the edge you learned to soften is often the same edge that made the work feel alive in the first place. Suzi reframes the whole decision: the real question isn't sell your business, burn it down, or rebuild it — it's what you'd build, or keep, if you stopped editing yourself down to fit it.

Suzi closes with three questions worth sitting with over the next week — not to answer immediately, but to write down honestly:

1. What am I relieved to lose if I sold this, and what am I afraid to admit I'd miss?
2. What am I actually craving when I imagine burning it down and starting from zero? And,
3. If I stopped editing myself down to run this, what would I change about how I lead tomorrow?

Suzi also shares a first look at Majestic, a new experience she's building for women exactly at this fork. Applications open this October, and you can join the list now at majestic.herbusiness.com.

Also in this episode: a listener shoutout to Carol Robertson of Ms Property Melbourne, who left a review after our episode on visibility, and a reference back to that earlier conversation on being more visible.

Check out the How Being More Visible Helps More Customers Choose You episode.

What You'll Discover In Episode 378: Sell Your Business or Rebuild It? What Every Established Woman Entrepreneur Eventually Asks

• Why the thought, "Should I sell it, burn it down, or start over?" tends to arrive around year eight, nine, or ten… and what it's actually signaling
• The difference between a business that's thriving and one that's durable, and why so many women reach "successful" before they let themselves ask who it's thriving FOR
• How all three impulses usually trace back to the same root cause, and why that it actually great news for you
• The "operating system" idea: how a business can scale for a decade while still running on the assumptions of a version of you who no longer exists
• The fourth option almost nobody names, and why it all begins with the woman running the business rather than the org chart or the offer suite
• The cost of sanding yourself down to be taken seriously, and how to tell whether your edge is gone for good… or is just waiting for permission to come back
• Three questions worth sitting with this week
• A first look at Majestic, the new experience Suzi's building for women standing at exactly this fork, with applications opening in October

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Full episode summary and resources – Episode 378 Show Notes
• @herbusiness on Instagram and Facebook

What if your next business move didn't have to be performance-perfect? What if, instead, you started treating that next business move like a rehearsal? In this episode of the HerBusiness Podcast, Suzi Dafnis answers a listener question that almost every experienced business owner asks eventually: "How do I know if I'm building the RIGHT next thing?".

On the surface, it sounds like a question about strategy…

Should I create this program? Or this new product?

Should I change my business model? Should I pursue this opportunity?

Should I hire for this? Should I move into a different market?

Should I finally retire this thing that has worked for years but that I don't really want to do anymore?

Underneath, it's really a question about certainty: How do I know this will work before I begin?

So many business owners get caught up in uncertainty, putting their next move on pause to get it perfect. In order to take the pressure of yourself and your business, start treating your next move as a rehearsal. It doesn't need to be perfect the first time. In this episode of the HerBusiness Podcast, Suzi Dafnis reveals exactly why taking that first step forward is the most important you can take, no matter how imperfect it may be.

You don't always think your way into the next version of your business. Sometimes you have to live your way into it.

What you'll discover in Episode 377: What If You Treated Your Next Business Move Like a Rehearsal?

• Why so many business owners strive for perfection, and the reason that perfection can hold you back from growth (and doing what you love)
• How to embrace uncertainty, and see it as a sign for what genuinely new work feels like
• The trick experience can play on us, and why the very success that should free us to experiment starts giving us reasons not to
• The real difference between performing and rehearsing — and which to value more
• Why you can't always think your way into the next version of your business, and instead live your way through it
• What "work" actually means, and why a first version that doesn't meet your expectations is exactly the feedback you need
• The questions to sit with to tell whether an idea genuinely feels wrong, or you just want certainty before you begin

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Full episode summary and resources – Episode 377 Show Notes
• @herbusiness on Instagram and Facebook

In every other career path, promotions and raises are the status quo. But promotion in business — in your own business — is entirely up to you. The shift from doer to leader is something you have to notice, and then choose, for yourself. In this episode of the HerBusiness podcast, Suzi Dafnis is revealing what she calls the "invisible promotion"… and how to recognise the moment your business has outgrown the version of you that built it, and starts asking for someone new.

The signs are easy to miss when you're in the day-to-day. You're working harder than ever, but your impact feels plateaued. Your team waits on you before making any decisions. You can't switch off even when you're not technically working.

What you'll discover in Episode 376: The Hardest Promotion in Business Is the One Nobody Gives You as a Business Owner

• Why founders never get told they've been promoted in business, and how to recognise that you're past due for one
• The signs your business has quietly outgrown the role you're still playing
• Why being the person with every answer is a trap you may have set for yourself
• How to shift from rescuing your team to coaching them (+ three simple questions to use)
• Why clarity (NOT better people) is usually what an overwhelmed business is really missing
• A simple two-column exercise that reveals what only you can do versus what you've simply always done

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Full episode summary and resources – Episode 376 Show Notes

Get clear on what you really want in business and life, with Bonnie Wan.

Most of us are never taught, as business owners, to define what "success" really means. We hear other people's interpretations. We see examples before us.

We're trained to just chase the next milestone, to meet everyone else's expectations, to build our businesses from the outside in… And then, when we reach the top — we wonder why the view feels strangely empty.

In this episode of the HerBusiness Podcast, Suzi Dafnis sits down with brand strategist and author Bonnie Wan to talk about a different way to get clear on what you REALLY want in business and life. Bonnie explores what a Life Brief is, and how you can turn the same clarifying lens companies use on their strategies inward, onto your own life and leadership style.

Bonnie Wan has spent three decades distilling global brands down to their essence. And she calls it 'atomic clarity'. During this episode, she shows how that same clarity is essential for women to incorporate into their own journeys in business — in how you lead, what you say yes and no to, and how you define success on your own terms rather than following a script written by someone else.

What You'll Discover in Episode 375: How to Get Clear on What You Really Want in Business and Life, with Bonnie Wan

• What a "Life Brief" is, and why getting clear on what you really want is an act of leadership, not a luxury only some business owners get
• The difference between execution and vision, and what stepping into leadership actually asks of you
• What leading from the inside out means (and why it makes your business stand out, instead of blending in with your competition)
• How to notice your "gripping issues" — the questions that surface in the shower, or on your drive home — and why you should really start listening to them
• The real distinction between knowledge and knowing… and why the answers you're looking for are usually behind the questions you've been avoiding
• How to redefine success without burning down everything you've built
• The single most reliable compass you can have… and how to identify when something lights you up
• How to get clarity and a definition of what you really want in business… and in life

About Bonnie Wan, Author of The Life Brief

Bonnie Wan is the creator and author of The Life Brief, a practice that helps people navigate life's big decisions with clarity, creativity, and courage. The Life Brief applies the art and science of brand strategy to how we live our lives — and helps define what you really want out of business and life. A 30-year career brand strategist turned life strategist, Bonnie helps some of the world's most iconic companies innovate from a place of purpose and guides everyday people on living with greater intention and imagination. She has been named Chief Strategy Officer of the Year, one of 100 Women to KNOW in America, and an Eames Institute's Curious 100.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Life Brief : A Playbook for No-Regrets Living by Bonnie Wan
• Connect with Bonnie Wan: www.thelifebrief.com
• Bonnie Wan's LinkedIn Profile
• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Full episode summary and resources — Episode 375 Show Notes

I'm Feeling Tired and Overwhelmed. How Do I Stay Connected to My Business?

How to stay connected to business... even when you're feeling overwhelmed.

In this Ask Suzi episode of the HerBusiness Podcast, Suzi Dafnis answers a very common listener question: "I'm so tired and overwhelmed from events outside my business. Is there something I can to to stay connected to business and get me back into focus?"

Our lives are not isolated from our businesses. As business owners, they are interwoven. So often when things happen in our personal lives, the business can take a hit as well.

So if you're feeling drained by something right now — health, family, the uncertainty in the world, your body going through changes — this episode is for you.

Instead of asking "How do I get motivated again??", ask yourself this instead: "What is one small way I can show up for myself to stay connected in business today?"

How to Stay Connected to Business — Even When Life Has Other Plans

When you're feeling overwhelmed as a small business owner, small acts of showing up for yourself can bring you back to the reason WHY you started your business, and respark your energy.

• Reaching out to one past client to see how they're going
• Sending one follow-up email
• Commenting thoughtfully on a few posts from your community
• Writing down three ideas for a future project
• Recording a quick video sharing something you've learned
• Spending twenty minutes on a piece of marketing
• Booking a coffee with someone you've been meaning to connect with
• Reading one chapter of a book that inspires you (it doesn't have to be about business)

Business is Built in Seasons

We imagine successful business owners stay connected to business 365 days of the year. Unlimited energy. Unwavering devotion. But they're not.

Every business has seasons. Growth, creativity, consolidation, and seasons where life simply needs more of your attention elsewhere. You don't have to fight the season. It's okay to navigate through it, accepting it for what it is.

What You'll Discover in Episode 374: "I'm Feeling Tired and Overwhelmed. How Can I Stay Connected to Business?"

• Why feeling overwhelmed in business is often about life outside the business... not lost motivation
• The one question that lowers the pressure and helps you stay connected to business
• A list of small, doable ways to show up when your energy is low
• Why you should lower the bar (not RAISE it) when life feels heavy
• The difference between slowing down and stepping away completely
• How to talk to yourself more kindly when the inner critic gets loud
• Why business is built in seasons, and how to navigate them
• The truth about motivation — and why confidence always follows action, not the other way around
• How to stay connected to business even when it feels like life around you won't stop throwing curveballs.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules
• Full episode summary and resources — Episode 374 Show Notes

Liked Episode 374: I'm Feeling Tired and Overwhelmed. How Do I Stay Connected to Business?

Check out these recent episodes:

• How to Simplify Your Business and Put Down the Weight You're Carrying
• How to Know Your Customers (and Why Most Founders Stop Listening) with Michele Hansen

• I've Built a Successful Business… So Why Do I Want More?
• Can Your Business Run Without You? Signs You're the Bottleneck & Systems That Fix It – with Kristin Skinner
• How to Delegate Without Losing Control of Your Business (Even the Work You Think Only You Can Do)
• How Being More Visible Makes It Easier for Customers to Choose You

Ready to know how to know your customers so deeply your business never loses touch as it grows? In this episode, Suzi Dafnis talks with Michele Hansen, who bootstrapped Geocodio into a multimillion-dollar business (without outside funding!), about why understanding your customers is the real foundation of a business that stands the test of time.

Michele Hansen is the author of Deploy Empathy: A Practical Guide to Interviewing Customers, and she practises what she teaches. If more than TWO weeks go by without a customer conversation, she says, she doesn't feel like herself. That habit of structured listening (yep, not systems, not SOPs) is what has kept her business relevant and thriving for over a decade.

This is a conversation about staying close to the people you serve, making sharper decisions based on their behaviour, and leading without becoming the bottleneck in your business. If you've ever wondered how to know your customers well enough to make confident calls about your marketing, pricing, offers, and more… Michele is the expert to hear from.

Why Knowing Your Customers Is the Foundation of Everything

So many businesses rely on systems, procedures, and SOPs. Or, we simply do things the way we always have done them. But Michele makes the case that it's something else entirely: evidence and customer insights. She uses a jobs-to-be-done framework to give customer interviews structure — what they've tried before, what they're really trying to accomplish, and why other things haven't worked. She shares why running those conversations are essential at every stage of the customer lifecycle, from prospects to ten-year clients.

Learning how to know your customers (and talk to them) keeps you connected to who they are and how their needs change over time — instead of guessing, or worse, building from a gut feeling and the noise of what competitors are doing.

What You'll Discover in Episode 373: How to Know Your Customers (and Why Most Founders Stop Listening)

• Why structured listening is the secret lifeblood of a resilient business
• The jobs-to-be-done questions that make customer interviews easy
• Michele's "two-week rule" for staying connected to customers
• A simply scoring system for deciding what to build, change, or stop
• The real cost when founders stop listening (and the "HIPPO" problem)
• Why you need to start saying, "I am NOT an airport." (I LOVE this.)
• The chessboard question for the highest-value use of your time.
• What it really means to operationalise empathy… and what boundaries are needed
• How Michele bootstrapped Geocodio to millions on her own terms

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Learn more about how to know your customers and use audience research in Michele's book: Deploy Empathy
• Check out how Geocodio can help your business.
• The Growth Network — the HerBusiness community for women business owners ready to do business by their own rules

Liked Episode 373: How to Know Your Customers (and Why Most Founder Stop Listening)?

Check out these recent episodes:

• How to Simplify Your Business and Put Down the Weight You're Carrying

• I've Built a Successful Business… So Why Do I Want More?
• Can Your Business Run Without You? Signs You're the Bottleneck & Systems That Fix It – with Kristin Skinner
• How to Delegate Without Losing Control of Your Business (Even the Work You Think Only You Can Do)
• How Being More Visible Makes It Easier for Customers to Choose You