Being on the receiving end of the narcissist's scream fits and rage fests causes you extreme distress. These bombardments can continue for hours, even days. When you try to fall asleep you become hypervigilant,  wondering if and when the rage will resume.

When you're being raged at you feel endangered. The amygdala, the emotional brain sends a message to the hypothalamus which activates the sympathetic fight or flight nervous system, increasing your stress hormones. 

Those married to high level narcissists experience shame, a dreadful experience of the psyche, body and mind. If you were shamed as a child the effect of the projections of shame on to you by your narcissistic spouse multiply the negative experiences and consequences for your feelings of well being and inner peace. 

There is a time of awakening, after all of your research, insights, intuitions---a deep knowing that you are entitled to be free to be yourself, to experience solitude, to grow in creativity, spirituality, to access the calming, restorative world of the parasympathetic nervous systems: rest, relax, digest, downtime, beauty, good nourishment, your full sense of humor. 

You are on the pathway of the original self. Acknowledge this great achievement. You have persevered and won the race. 

Congratulations!