With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation

Today, we are continuing our conversation around relational safety with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith.

From their website, “It is a privilege that we get to use our experience, training, and talents to help others find what they have been desperately searching for: safe and supportive relationships which empowers them to not just survive, but thrive. Our growing team represents a community of dedicated professionals who passionately pursue a greater mastery of the very best tools and techniques to serve our clients faithfully.”

We Will be Discussing:

1. Personal responsibility for each spouse
2. Can she use her voice? How?
3. What is a realistic healthy relationship?
4. Core values and boundaries

Resources mentioned in this show:

• • Building True Intimacy by Dan Drake, Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith

  • Connect with Matthew and Joanna’s Couples Work Here

  • Free Resource Material from the Raabsmiths!

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation

Today, we discuss the very important topic of relational safety with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith.

From their website, "It is a privilege that we get to use our experience, training, and talents to help others find what they have been desperately searching for: safe and supportive relationships which empowers them to not just survive, but thrive. Our growing team represents a community of dedicated professionals who passionately pursue a greater mastery of the very best tools and techniques to serve our clients faithfully."

We Will be Discussing:

1. Definition around relational safety
2. A scenario to explain relational safety more in depth
3. How to unpack an episode of disconnect/conflict
4. Practical ideas to grow self-awareness

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Building True Intimacy by Dan Drake, Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith

• Connect with Matthew and Joanna - https://www.raabsmithteam.com

• Free Resource Material from the Raabsmiths!

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today we discuss the upcoming Christmas season and how to, “Experiencing Christmas Well.”

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some things you navigated or things you’ve heard you clients navigate during Christmas while trying to heal from betrayal?
2. What are some ways you or your clients have navigated Christmas and found peace?
3. What hope would you like to leave our listeners?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• The Hidden Wounds Behind Triggers (ep. 27)

  The Spectrum of Triggers (ep. 28)

• Navigating the Holidays after Betrayal

Scripture references:

Matthew 12:20

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are talking with Stacey Smith, Chief Clinical Officer at Daring Ventures, about attachment and its role in healing.  Stacey is an EMDR Certified Therapist and a Trainer for The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). In this 4-Day training she teaches coaches and clinicians how to ethically treat partners of sex addicts who are suffering from betrayal trauma. She is also a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Candidate as well as PACT level one trained. 

Stacey also speaks to groups on topics like betrayal trauma, single womanhood, divorce and intimacy in marriage. Her first book, Understanding and Loving Your Child as a Single Parent, co-authored with Steve Arterburn, was published in 2022. She received her undergraduate degree from Texas State in 1988. Her graduate degree is from Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. She became an LPC in late 2010. She is recently married and lives in Galveston, Texas and spends her spare time fishing & enjoying the beach.

We Will be Discussing:

1. Does attachment styles affect all kinds of relationships?
2. How do you see a woman working on her identity in Christ help her to move toward a healthy attachment style?
3. How does our attachment style relate to our attachment to the Lord?
4. How can I self-assess to find my attachment style?
5. What’s the goal when it comes to attachment?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Love Sculpture by Alexander Milov (Ukranian)

• Attached to God: A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experience by Krispin Mayfield

  Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation

Today, we are approaching another type of betrayal we hear far too often from women navigating their healing journey, being missed when going to their community of faith after betrayal. We thought we would approach this conversation a little differently and encourage faith communities.  Many of us don’t know what we don’t know. When we learn and know better we can do better. 

Dr. Barb Steffens is joining us today and helping us understand how a faith community can be a safe and responsive community for betrayed partners. 

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some common experiences for women being “missed” by their faith community. 
2. What should a care pastor/faith leader/community do when meeting with a betrayed wife or the couple after discovery?
3. What to do when they want you to fix it?  What resources can they offer?
4. What do you do when a woman doesn’t understand her impact, yet?
5. What if a woman reaches a brick wall with getting support from her faith community, should she stay where is, or to seek a new faith community? Other options?
6. What hope can we leave for our listeners today? 

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Dr. Barb Steffens

  Scripture references:

Deuteronomy 31:8

Philippians 1:6

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now: In episode 12, we first explored the concept of therapeutic or healing separations. Since two years has passed since we published that episode, we want to revisit this topic and share a little more around a couple of questions. We Will be Discussing:

1. She kicked him out in the heat of the moment and now she wants to transform the separation into therapeutic, what would you say to her?
2. How is a therapeutic separation a form of mental health care?
3. What do you tell the kids about the separation?
4. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Episode 12: Therapeutic or Healing Separation

• Separation Documents and Guides to purchase by Shawna Meek

  Healing Separation Document example – pdf

  Covenant Eyes blog – Can A Therapeutic Separation Help?

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, Lyschel and Kathy Reynolds, APSATS-cpc/PSAP, finish their discussion around the shame a wife experiences, whether she stays or goes.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What about stay shame?
2. What if your decision changes?
3. What hope can we offer our listeners?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Recalibrate Coaching Services with Kathy and Conrad Reynolds

• Serenity Prayer

Scripture references:

Psalm 18:1-2

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, Lyschel and Kathy Reynolds are talking about the shame a wife experiences, whether she stays or goes.

Kathy is our special guest today! Her training under renowned professionals such as Dr. Barbara Steffens and Dr. Jake Porter has equipped her with expertise in the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model and the Couple-Centered Recovery Model. She also holds certification as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP) through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP).

Her work includes facilitating therapeutic disclosure intensives, grief work intensives for couples, individual coaching for betrayed partners, and couples coaching with her husband, Conrad. Kathy is also the lead facilitator of ‘Returning to You,’ an innovative and intensive week-long program for betrayed partners hosted at Daring Ventures’ beautiful retreat center, The Magnolia House.

Kathy is passionate about empowering and equipping betrayed partners with the tools to heal, grow, and reclaim their shattered lives with grit and grace.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is “stay shame” and “go shame” and how will a woman know she’s experiencing one of these?
2. What was Kathy’s defining moment where she let go of that shame?

Join us next week for part 2!

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Recalibrate Coaching Services with Kathy and Conrad Reynolds

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are talking with Crystal Botero-Rand and her work supporting partners whose husbands are attending Boulder Recovery, 14-Day healing intensive.

Crystal lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband Jon. She is a betrayal trauma coach, trained through the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). She group coaches the wives/partners of men undergoing intensives at Boulder Recovery, a Christ-Centered sex addiction treatment program. She also coaches women one on one in her private practice, Rooted and Established Coaching. Her passion for working with betrayed women began with her own healing journey and has grown as she has coached many women. She is honored to help her clients connect to their worth, make sense of their story, and set the healthy boundaries. She is deeply rooted in her Christian faith, and so are many of her clients, but not all. She helps them through crises of faith or breakdowns in their faith community, which are so common in this experience. Helping women understand their story and put one step in front of the other is her most worthwhile pursuit.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is Boulder Recovery?
2. What are the pros and cons of a husband doing an intensive?
3. Does Boulder do any assess the betrayed partner? Do you prep her to understand to it might not have a positive outcome?
4. What can a wife expect of herself while he is gone in the program and when he gets back?
5. While he is gone is there any contact between husband and wife?
6. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• The Boulder Recovery 14-Day Christian Intensive

  TINSA: A Neurological Approach to the Treatment of Sex Addiction

  Partner’s Healing 5-Day Intensive

Scripture references:

John 1:5

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are continuing our discussion with Vicki Tiede. Vicki is a certified APSATS partner coach whose specialty is walking with wives who have same sex attraction in their story with their sexually addicted spouse.

Vicki is a betrayal trauma recovery coach, speaker, and the author of “When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart.” Vicki has a passion for helping women navigate the pain of betrayal, particularly in relationships impacted by infidelity and pornography. She has a particular interest in supporting women whose husbands struggle with same-sex attraction. Vicki and her husband Mike also work with couples ready for relationship restoration.

 

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is the value of being in community with other women who have this aspect in their story?
2. What hope can we leave our listeners this week?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Life Renovation Counseling and Coaching – Learn more about Vicki and/or make an appointment through this website.

  When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart by Vicki Tiede.

  Homosexuality and the Christian by Mark Yarhouse.