With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are talking through a specific betrayal for many women. Over the course of the 10+ years I have been walking through betrayal stories with other women, many have a story that includes Same Sex Attraction. During discovery or disclosure women learn that their husband has been acting out with men or viewing same sex pornography. Typically, we approach our topics with a broad stroke to discuss betrayal as a whole. Today we wanted to sit with author and recovery coach, Vicki Tiede, who has walked this path and bring hope to women who are trying to heal from their husbands' SSA and addiction.

Vicki is a betrayal trauma recovery coach, speaker, and the author of "When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart." Vicki has a passion for helping women navigate the pain of betrayal, particularly in relationships impacted by infidelity and pornography. She has a particular interest in supporting women whose husbands struggle with same-sex attraction. Vicki and her husband Mike also work with couples ready for relationship restoration.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some of the fears that come up for a partner when they discover same-sex attraction and their husband's story
2. Does recovery look different for women whose stories involve same-sex addiction?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Life Renovation Counseling and Coaching – Learn more about Vicki and/or make an appointment through this website.

• When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart by Vicki Tiede.

• Homosexuality and the Christian by Mark Yarhouse.

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are discussing and important piece of coupleship recovery, grieving together.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What place does grief have in trauma healing?
2. What place does grief have in coupleship healing?
3. What are some practical tips or suggestions to help couples understand mourning and grieving as a couple?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Episode 15: Full Therapeutic Disclosure

• Daring Ventures – Grieving Together Webinar

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives. Before we get started, we just want to make sure to say that we are not licensed therapists. We are ethically credentialled coaches.

As coaches, we pick up on patterns. One of the patterns we see in recovering couples is that the person with problematic sexual behavior exhibit being avoidant of connecting with his wife.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some reasons the person with problematic behavior avoids?
2. How does a woman experience living with a man who is in very early recovery and avoids intimacy.
3. How does she stay sane when living with a man who does not want or does not have the skill set, yet, to connect with her in a way that is meaningful to her?

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are continuing our discussion around how trauma negatively impacts our self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth. We are going to explore ways to gain the confidence you lost after discovery and empower yourselves in truth.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some ways you personally found your way to empowerment?
2. What are some other practical tools we can offer our listeners in order for them to grow in empowerment?
3. What hope can we leave? Resources mentioned in this show:

   • God's Love Letter

   • Episode 59, "So What, Lord?"

   • Pete and Geri Scazzero Books

     Susie Larson Books

     Robert S. McGee Books

     Brene Brown Books

   Scripture references:

   Zephaniah 3:17

   Jeremiah 17:14-18

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now: Today, we are discussing why and how a betrayed partner's self-esteem decreases after discovery. Self-esteem is your sense of overall personal worth or value. Similar to self-respect, it describes your level of confidence in your abilities and attributes. One of the criteria for post traumatic stress in the DSM-5 is "Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world." So, it makes sense that a large percentage of betrayed wives experience this drastic drop in their confidence. We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some experiences betrayed partners have with loss of self-esteem?
2. How does this lack of self-esteem affect recovery from betrayal trauma?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Lauren Daigle – You Say

• God's Love Letter to You

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

We are continuing our exploration of how to navigate when friends or family in this episode. Today, we are sharing practical tools and tips when friends and family are unintentionally insensitive to complexities of pain involved in betrayal from sex addiction.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What can a betrayed wife put in place or think about before she interacts with friends and family to pro-actively care for herself if this kind of situation comes up?
2. What are some other practical tips or tools we can share that have worked for you or your clients in navigating insensitive friends and family?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

3C Family and Friends Understand BT

2B PSB Family and Friends Understand PSBSA (1)

P Affects Community Family and Friends Understand

Clarity and Peace with Boundaries (Pam Blizzard

Scripture references:

Philippians 4:7-9

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation We Will be Discussing: Today, we are exploring the reality of the insensitivity of some friends or family to complexities of pain involved in betrayal from sex addiction.

1. What are some experiences either you or your clients have shared regarding insensitive friends and family?
2. Why is this kind of situation so uncomfortable?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

Visit episode 68's website at hopeforwives.com for access to two PDFs. Facts sheets that explains simply the reality of betrayal trauma and problematic sexual behavior.

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation

Today, Lyschel and Bonny continue the discussion, because Pam is away with other obligations, about Option C. We talk about staying well through choice, change, the complexities, and Christ.

We Will be Discussing:

1. How do we stay well in Option C?
2. What if she starts to feel hopeless?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• "Do I Stay Well or Leave Well?" – Blog Post

  "'Staying Well,' Is it even possible?"

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Help Us Help Others Listen now:

Today, we are discussing what it means to stay while waiting in the hallway between pre-discovery and true solid recovery in the betrayer.

Option C includes choice, change, complexity, and Christ.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is Option A and Option B?
2. What is Option C?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources:

https://leslievernick.com/blog/do-i-stay-well-or-leave-well/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpsBx-rWHtw

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Help Us Help Others Listen now:

Lyschel and Pam had other obligations, so I, Bonny will be speaking with a special guest today – Dr. Barb Steffens!

Barb is the retired founder of the association of partners of sex addicts trauma specialists, or APSATS. APSATS was a response to her empirically supported work that betrayed partners are traumatized by the discovery of their spouses problematic sexual behavior and should be supported through the lens of trauma, not co-dependence. Barb now focuses on helping better equip religious leaders to care for marriages that are struggling through the discovery of problematic sexual behavior.

Today, our topic is "How Religious Leaders Can Serve Betrayed Couples Well."

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is institutional trauma or institutional betrayal?
2. What are some things that religious leaders could do to minimize spiritual trauma when they are working with a marriage that has deceptive sexuality?
3. What are some obstacles that keep religious leaders from following up with a couple where the wife has newly discovered sexually problematic behavior?
4. What are some resources that religious leaders could tap into to learn more?
5. What hope can we leave our listeners?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal," by Dr. Barb Steffens and Marsha Means.

• Why did God let this Happen? Assessing the Spiritual Impacts of Sexual Addiction on Intimate Female Partners: A Qualitative Investigation

• Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training Information (July, 2024, dates)

• "The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It," By Sam Black.

• "Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores," by Dr. Diane Langberg.

  Coming November, 2024 – "When the Church Harms God's People: Becoming Faith Communities That Resist Abuse, Pursue Truth, and Care for the Wounded," by Dr. Diane Langberg.