Hope For Wives

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

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Today, Lyschel and Kathy Reynolds are talking about the shame a wife experiences, whether she stays or goes.

Kathy is our special guest today! Her training under renowned professionals such as Dr. Barbara Steffens and Dr. Jake Porter has equipped her with expertise in the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model and the Couple-Centered Recovery Model. She also holds certification as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP) through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP).

Her work includes facilitating therapeutic disclosure intensives, grief work intensives for couples, individual coaching for betrayed partners, and couples coaching with her husband, Conrad. Kathy is also the lead facilitator of 'Returning to You,' an innovative and intensive week-long program for betrayed partners hosted at Daring Ventures' beautiful retreat center, The Magnolia House.

Kathy is passionate about empowering and equipping betrayed partners with the tools to heal, grow, and reclaim their shattered lives with grit and grace.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is "stay shame" and "go shame" and how will a woman know she's experiencing one of these?
2. What was Kathy's defining moment where she let go of that shame?

Join us next week for part 2!

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Recalibrate Coaching Services with Kathy and Conrad Reynolds

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are talking with Crystal Botero-Rand and her work supporting partners whose husbands are attending Boulder Recovery, 14-Day healing intensive.

Crystal lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband Jon. She is a betrayal trauma coach, trained through the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). She group coaches the wives/partners of men undergoing intensives at Boulder Recovery, a Christ-Centered sex addiction treatment program. She also coaches women one on one in her private practice, Rooted and Established Coaching. Her passion for working with betrayed women began with her own healing journey and has grown as she has coached many women. She is honored to help her clients connect to their worth, make sense of their story, and set the healthy boundaries. She is deeply rooted in her Christian faith, and so are many of her clients, but not all. She helps them through crises of faith or breakdowns in their faith community, which are so common in this experience. Helping women understand their story and put one step in front of the other is her most worthwhile pursuit.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is Boulder Recovery?
2. What are the pros and cons of a husband doing an intensive?
3. Does Boulder do any assess the betrayed partner? Do you prep her to understand to it might not have a positive outcome?
4. What can a wife expect of herself while he is gone in the program and when he gets back?
5. While he is gone is there any contact between husband and wife?
6. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• The Boulder Recovery 14-Day Christian Intensive

  TINSA: A Neurological Approach to the Treatment of Sex Addiction

  Partner's Healing 5-Day Intensive

Scripture references:

John 1:5

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are continuing our discussion with Vicki Tiede. Vicki is a certified APSATS partner coach whose specialty is walking with wives who have same sex attraction in their story with their sexually addicted spouse.

Vicki is a betrayal trauma recovery coach, speaker, and the author of "When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart." Vicki has a passion for helping women navigate the pain of betrayal, particularly in relationships impacted by infidelity and pornography. She has a particular interest in supporting women whose husbands struggle with same-sex attraction. Vicki and her husband Mike also work with couples ready for relationship restoration.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What is the value of being in community with other women who have this aspect in their story?
2. What hope can we leave our listeners this week?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Life Renovation Counseling and Coaching – Learn more about Vicki and/or make an appointment through this website.

  When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart by Vicki Tiede.

  Homosexuality and the Christian by Mark Yarhouse.

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are talking through a specific betrayal for many women. Over the course of the 10+ years I have been walking through betrayal stories with other women, many have a story that includes Same Sex Attraction. During discovery or disclosure women learn that their husband has been acting out with men or viewing same sex pornography. Typically, we approach our topics with a broad stroke to discuss betrayal as a whole. Today we wanted to sit with author and recovery coach, Vicki Tiede, who has walked this path and bring hope to women who are trying to heal from their husbands' SSA and addiction.

Vicki is a betrayal trauma recovery coach, speaker, and the author of "When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart." Vicki has a passion for helping women navigate the pain of betrayal, particularly in relationships impacted by infidelity and pornography. She has a particular interest in supporting women whose husbands struggle with same-sex attraction. Vicki and her husband Mike also work with couples ready for relationship restoration.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some of the fears that come up for a partner when they discover same-sex attraction and their husband's story
2. Does recovery look different for women whose stories involve same-sex addiction?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Life Renovation Counseling and Coaching – Learn more about Vicki and/or make an appointment through this website.

• When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart by Vicki Tiede.

• Homosexuality and the Christian by Mark Yarhouse.

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are discussing and important piece of coupleship recovery, grieving together.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What place does grief have in trauma healing?
2. What place does grief have in coupleship healing?
3. What are some practical tips or suggestions to help couples understand mourning and grieving as a couple?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Episode 15: Full Therapeutic Disclosure

• Daring Ventures – Grieving Together Webinar

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives. Before we get started, we just want to make sure to say that we are not licensed therapists. We are ethically credentialled coaches.

As coaches, we pick up on patterns. One of the patterns we see in recovering couples is that the person with problematic sexual behavior exhibit being avoidant of connecting with his wife.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some reasons the person with problematic behavior avoids?
2. How does a woman experience living with a man who is in very early recovery and avoids intimacy.
3. How does she stay sane when living with a man who does not want or does not have the skill set, yet, to connect with her in a way that is meaningful to her?

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

Today, we are continuing our discussion around how trauma negatively impacts our self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth. We are going to explore ways to gain the confidence you lost after discovery and empower yourselves in truth.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some ways you personally found your way to empowerment?
2. What are some other practical tools we can offer our listeners in order for them to grow in empowerment?
3. What hope can we leave? Resources mentioned in this show:

   • God's Love Letter

   • Episode 59, "So What, Lord?"

   • Pete and Geri Scazzero Books

     Susie Larson Books

     Robert S. McGee Books

     Brene Brown Books

   Scripture references:

   Zephaniah 3:17

   Jeremiah 17:14-18

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now: Today, we are discussing why and how a betrayed partner's self-esteem decreases after discovery. Self-esteem is your sense of overall personal worth or value. Similar to self-respect, it describes your level of confidence in your abilities and attributes. One of the criteria for post traumatic stress in the DSM-5 is "Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world." So, it makes sense that a large percentage of betrayed wives experience this drastic drop in their confidence. We Will be Discussing:

1. What are some experiences betrayed partners have with loss of self-esteem?
2. How does this lack of self-esteem affect recovery from betrayal trauma?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Lauren Daigle – You Say

• God's Love Letter to You

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation Listen now:

We are continuing our exploration of how to navigate when friends or family in this episode. Today, we are sharing practical tools and tips when friends and family are unintentionally insensitive to complexities of pain involved in betrayal from sex addiction.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What can a betrayed wife put in place or think about before she interacts with friends and family to pro-actively care for herself if this kind of situation comes up?
2. What are some other practical tips or tools we can share that have worked for you or your clients in navigating insensitive friends and family?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

3C Family and Friends Understand BT

2B PSB Family and Friends Understand PSBSA (1)

P Affects Community Family and Friends Understand

Clarity and Peace with Boundaries (Pam Blizzard

Scripture references:

Philippians 4:7-9

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Support HFW through a donation We Will be Discussing: Today, we are exploring the reality of the insensitivity of some friends or family to complexities of pain involved in betrayal from sex addiction.

1. What are some experiences either you or your clients have shared regarding insensitive friends and family?
2. Why is this kind of situation so uncomfortable?
3. What hope can we leave?

Resources mentioned in this show:

Visit episode 68's website at hopeforwives.com for access to two PDFs. Facts sheets that explains simply the reality of betrayal trauma and problematic sexual behavior.